funniest line in a movie....?

Question

Whats the funniest line in a movie...ever?

Answer 1

From the movie "Clerks":

Dante (to Veronica): How many? How many d**** have you sucked?

Veronica: Something like 36.

Dante: Does that include me?

Veronica: 37.

Dante: I'm 37?!? . . . That's great, every time I kiss you I'm gonna taste 36 other guys.

Dante then turns to a customer approaching his counter and says to him, "37! My girlfriend sucked 37 d****!"

Customer: IN A ROW?

That is my favorite line from any movie, EVER!

My wife thought the line was so funny she bought me New York Jets football jersey with the number 37 and the name INAROW (In a row).

Every time I wear it, there's always at least two or three people who come up to me and say that the shirt is great, and ask me where I got it, and stuff like that.

Answer 2

wow, i'm impressed...thats a good question.

something from Wedding Crashers. After John and Jeremy go sailing on the senator's boat and they run into Sack who wants to go quail hunting. Vince Vaughn's lines are hilarious...as are all of the lines he says in that whole movie


Jeremy: Wow. Mr. Environmental is also a hunter. That's an interesting combination.

Sack: I hunt quail, Jeremy. They're overpopulated in this region and they're decimating the grubworm population. You got a f***ing problem with that?

Jeremy: Not as much as I do with your attire, or just your general point of view toward everybody here. But hey, lets go kill some birds. I'm psyched.


ah, hes so funny!

Answer 3

I never thought I'd live to see the day I'd say this about another human being: but you are evil--that's right EVIL TO THE CORE!! Now I've done a lot of forgettin' and forgivin' cause of the way I've been brought up, but I'll tell you one thing, if you say another word or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun o' mine. And I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot. DON'T THINK I CAN'T DO IT. --Dolly Parton as Dorily Rhodes in 9 to 5

Answer 4

From the movie Funny Farm with Chevy Chase,"They want yellow dog?"
It's hillarious if you actually watch it. You have to see the movie to get the story, but they're basically trying to get out of the god-forsaken town they've been suckered into buying a farm in. Some people come to look at their house, and the'll only buy it if it comes with their useless yellow dog that never moves, just lies there in front of the fireplace all day and night, only moving its eyeballs. Watch it. you'll laugh your butt off.

Answer 5

From My Cousin Vinny, when he is getting ready to go hunting:

Joe Pesci---What about these pants I got on, you think they are ok?

Marisa Tomei---Imagine you're a deer, you're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water. BAM, a f**k*n bullet rips off part of your head, your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask you, would you give a f**k what kind of pants the son-of-a-b***h who shot you was wearing.

I love this line. Another one, almost as good, later in the movie when she is explaining about tire tracks.

Answer 6

Charlie Sheen in Major League (sitting at the table in the fancy restaurant, wearing his cut off sleeves and leather jacket, but wearing a tie)

"I feel like a banker in this."

Answer 7

Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, "Carol the waitress meet Simon the f*g."

Answer 8

"We're not going to fall for a bananna up the tail pipe." Eddie Murphy in Bevery Hills Cop.

Answer 9

Jay: I feel good today, Silent Bob, we're gonna make some money, then you know what we're going to do? We're gonna go to that party, and we're gonna get some pu.ssy, and I'm gonna fuc.k this bitc.h, and fuc.k this bit.ch, I'll ***** ANYTHING THAT MOVES! What the ***** you lookin at, I'll kick yo ******* as.s! S.hit yeah. Doesn't that fu.cker owe me 10 bucks? You know, fu.ckin tonight, we're gonna rip off that fu.cker's head, and take out his fu.ckin' SOUL. Hey, what's up baby, what's up, slu.ts?

from clerks. I love that line or

[Randal is on the phone when a woman and little girl come to the counter]
'Happy-Scrappy' Mom: Excuse me, do you sell videos?

Randal Graves: Yeah, what're you looking for?

'Happy-Scrappy' Kid: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.

Randal Graves: Okay, hang on, I'm on the phone with the distribution house now, lemme make sure we got it. What was it called again?

'Happy-Scrappy' Mom: Happy Scrappy Hero Pup.

'Happy-Scrappy' Kid: Happy Scrappy!

'Happy-Scrappy' Mom: She loves it.

Randal Graves: Obviously. Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Ti.t-******** Volume 8", "I Need Your C.ock", "As.s-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My ***** Needs Sha.fts", "Cu.m Clean", "C.um-Gargling Nak.ed Sl.uts", "C.um Buns III", "Cu.mming in Socks", "Cu.m On Eileen", "Huge Black Co.cks and Pearly White C.um", "Girls Who Crave C.ock", "Girls Who Crave C.unt", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pu.ssy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard C.ock". Uh-huh... yeah... Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?

That one's hilarious too....I'm going to get reported for that. But it's hilarious.

Answer 10

"When the f*** did we get ice cream?" - the ringer.
OR
"betty has gone too far. Killing is wrong and bad. There should be a new stronger word for killing like "Badwrong" or "Badong". Yes! Killing is Badong! I shall be the opposite of Badong. . . "gawnawdap." - kung pow enter the fist