Is "love" selfish?

Question

also...a question that I think may be easily linked to my original

Is there really such a thing as unconditional love? Aren't there always conditions? Please Explain.

Answer 1

I was just talking about this the other day with my friend, and we came to the conclusion that love is indeed selfish; if you do something bad, becuase you like it, then it's selfish (inconsiderate), but love is also letting you feel something selfish to; when you give someone a hug, you know it makes them feel better, but you wouldn't do it if it didn't also make you feel better too, right?
We always do things because it gives "us" a reaction in return.

Monks practice just "being", dissolving everything in thier lives relating to thier selfish senses.

Answer 2

Love is not selfish because it's something you give away, not keep for yourself. love is a feeling, between two people. you have to feel the same way for the other person that they feel for you. love is so important in a relationship.

I believe there is a such thing as unconditional love. It basically means that you'll love them no matter what. So what you might consider "conditions", like cheating or something when you wouldn't love them anymore, you probably wouldn't unconditionally love someone that would do that kind of thing. You would have noticed before you even got to that point of love that he wasn't the one for you and he would do things that would hurt you. So only those deserving of unconditional love are the ones that truly find it. So nothing they do (gain weight, lose weight, grow old, go bald, etc) would affect how much you love them.

Answer 3

Love is not selfish because it's something you give away, not keep for yourself.

I believe there is a such thing as unconditional love. It basically means that you'll love them no matter what. So what you might consider "conditions", like cheating or something when you wouldn't love them anymore, you probably wouldn't unconditionally love someone that would do that kind of thing. You would have noticed before you even got to that point of love that he wasn't the one for you and he would do things that would hurt you. So only those deserving of unconditional love are the ones that truly find it. So nothing they do (gain weight, lose weight, grow old, go bald, etc) would affect how much you love them.

Answer 4

Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't.

Have no idea what "unconditional" love is. You will have to explain what you mean by "unconditional".

Is there such as thing as an unconditional question? How about unconditional breathing? And unconditional bathing? Unconditional eating? Walking? Seeing? Running? Thinking?

Seems like most everything has limits. Why would "love" be any different?

Answer 5

Love can be completely unconditional, and it can be completely self-less. However, such behaviour cannot be mantained for too long, simply because it's not sane.
To love someone so deeply and expect nothing in return is possible, but for a short while. After some time, the person that loves starts to feel pain about that love he/she feels. We cannot give so much interest to a person and expect nothing in return. We may do it for some time, but when it begins to hurt you, the sane behaviour is to take a rest, shake your head, and begin looking for another recipient for your love and interest.

There are always conditions to love. We always expect the person we love to love us back. Sometimes the conditions are met, sometimes there aren't, but the expectation is always there.
A mother will always love his son, yet she will expect him to love her back. A romantic will love his girl, but he cannot cry for her his entire life if she doesn't pay him a minimum of attention.
A priest loves God, but that's also because that love gives him a personal satisfaction, and gives him the sense of security and assurance that he needs.

When we love someone, we are always getting something in return. Even if that something is an excuse to write a poem. It's still something.
When the "cons" or pain we get are greater than the rewards, we stop loving. That's the sane behaviour. The other road ends in self-destruction.
We love someone because we *need* to love someone. It's a personal, selfish need. When we don't need it anymore, or we realize that we are not getting anything in return, we stop loving.

Answer 6

Love is very unselfish and yes it is unconditional. If a person is selfish then how can they truly love another living human being. Because they are so caught up in their own little trival world.

But to be in love and want to share your everything with a partner for eternity is unselfish. To imagine being with the other when you are separated and trust each other to the max that is unselfish. To realize that without the other person in your life you would not be the person you are today is also unselfish.

Conditions. In a relationship were there is not trust then I guess you place conditions. If you are with a partner who has a history of violence then I suppose you may place the condition that if they ever harm you or yours that you couldn't live with that.

I am engaged to a wonderful woman and the fact that we love one and other unconditionally is shown in all our actions. We live in separate cities but live with each other on weekends. There are plenty of circumstances that we could both be selfish but choose not to as this would be unfair to each other.

So please give love a chance and try to love all the people who are special to you unconditionally. If they return this love in the same manner than you are a lucky person.

Answer 7

Love is not selfish, but people are. People have to learn to not be selfish for true love to come through. Unconditional love has no conditions. Why ask? When 2 people really love each other, there should be no conditions. If there are conditions, then it is not love, it is selfishness. Love is not about who is right or wrong. It is not about control. It is about giving to each other unconditionally. If a person takes and takes, then that is not love, selfishness!

Answer 8

Only if your in love with yourself!

Selfish is nothing more than concerned chiefly or only with oneself.
Selfish people covers a wide range don't you know. Here are a few examples just to name a few. Narrow-minded, parsimonious, prejudiced, self-centered, self-indulgent, self-interested , self-seeking and self loving!
By now I would assume you are getting the point.

Let's examine love just a bit for a moment!
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
More importantly , biblical speaking, love is charity. I would assume meaning out of compassion; with no thought for a reward.
Bottom line here is that comparing love to selfish is like comparing apples to oranges unless the apple or orange of your eye is in love with itself!

Yes there is such a thing as unconditional love. We are all brothers and sister's in Christ and I just have a unconditional love for all mankind. I may not agree or like the actions of mankind but I accept that the struggle in not against flesh and blood. I realise the struggle is against the evil spirts of the dark world.
A mother always has unconditional love for her children if she's normal.
However, on the otherhand, more often than not, most people have plenty of conditions when it come to the word love as so many truly dont understand what love is!


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Answer 9

Dang, that's a really good question. It's true we give love away but I do really think love is selfish. When I love someone..I give my love away to that someone..but why not others as much? That's selfishness. Why do we always have to pick one person to give our love to? Why couldn't it be more than one person? Because love is selfish..We are selfish human beings. We're possessive and love to have things for ourselves. And as to unconditional love, I would love to think that that doesn't exist but it sure does exist. We're not talking about a mother loving her children unconditionally..but a love that is between two. There are always conditions but true love challenges the limits so it becomes unconditional love.

Answer 10

you're right, there are almost always conditions in our relationships with people we love. but REAL love is always unconditional. don't confuse that with the first thing I said, though. it's possible to really love someone and refuse to be with them. the love is unconditional, but staying with the person is not. this is even true of parent/child relationships. I love my children no matter what, and nothing will ever change that. but, if they were abusive to me, for example, I would not maintain contact with them. if it's not unconditional, it's not really love. it's that simple.

Answer 11

Love isn't selfish, people are. Selfish people aren't likely to understand unconditional love on any level.

Unconditional love means "I love you no matter what you do". You're more likely to find that kind of love between a parent and a child, but I do believe in (rare but not extinct) unconditional love between a man and woman.

Unconditional love requires complete honesty between partners... until you're ready to be honest (to yourself as well), you're not ready for true love, in my opinion.