Is my friend trying to hurt my feelings?

Question

I have wanted to be a writer since I was 6, almost 30 years ago. My 2nd best friend has known this since we met 20 years ago. In high school the repeated assurances that writers starve, made me go out and get a "real job." This "real job" and everyday life have gotten in the way of writing, so all I really have are lots of notes scribbled in notebooks.

2 months ago I was writing some notes, so she asked me to tell her about that book. I told her a basic outline, which has made my mom, and my other best friend rave. She told me the characters names were weird. The story idea okay.

Then this week she tells me some friends of hers say she should put her emails together to create a book. They say her writing is, per her words, "just so creative." These emails are just about her day to day life i.e. just like my blogs on myspace and many other people's

She wants me to praise her for starting on this book. Frankly I feel insulted. Is that wrong?

Answer 1

No.....she's trying to get to you and it's working. She's trying (for some reason) to prove she's better than you. I don't get it.....friends should be supportive - especially when something is this important to them but people think different from each other unfortunately. I would try to block her out right now if I were you and do your best at your writing. She's going to HOLD YOU BACK OTHERWISE. Just think.....when that book is published, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BE ABLE TO SAY......."Hi, how are you" and leave it at that. Be the bigger person. She'll KNOW in her heart that you did well. She just may not be able to admit it.

Answer 2

OK, I believe she got jealous of you because you are a good writer, (not saying she isn't) but did she really ever talk about writing before you did? I believe people want to be better so they strive to put the people around them down (best friend or not) she should have supported your book and made you feel good not bad (also again not saying she really put it down or if this is true) I am going to tell you what I think, I believe jealousy got in her way (I have friends just like this) I would write the book, get it out there in the world, weather she thinks it's good or not... and REMEMBER DON'T LET THE JEALOUS PEOPLE GET TO YOU....Things happen and yes your best friend can get jealous.. So good luck with the book and I look forward to seeing it in a book store one day.. Stay happy.. (Nessa)

Answer 3

I agree with you, she kind of has taken your dream and made it her own. You were the first to want to become a writer, and all she ever did is put you down. And now she expects you to give her props for her idea? I think you have every right to feel insulted. But on the other hand, don't go on thinking she is doing on purpose, she might be totally clueless that this is hurting you. I suggest you sit down and talk to her about how you feel.
And if it doesn't work out, it's like you said, she is only your second best friend...you still have your first!

Answer 4

I don't know her, but I think that she is seriously jealous. Maybe she never openly said she wanted to write, but in high school all girls write poetry (at least). And maybe she was told by others that she shouldn't do it and seeing you really want to go for it maybe made her feel bad (not to make you feel badly).
Jealousy can be dangerous emotionally, mentally and physically (i know). So distance yourself from her a little bit until she seems to have gotten past this. In the mean time, don't listen to what others say about your writing and schedule time for yourself to write (even ten mintues a day)

Answer 5

That is pretty weird..It looks like to me she's trying to create a book that would make it seem or look like it's better than yours. Or, she wants to give this whole writing thing a try, and she wants to be like you. I like writing too, althought I'm still in high school, but I have good ideas. When people tell me they don't like the names of my characters, or the time setting, I tell them: "Thank you for the suggestion, but since I made this story up all by myself, I rather keep it like me than reflect on someone else's ideas for names".

Answer 6

I don't think it is wrong for your emotion, Maybe your friend is clueless to her actions, or thinks she was being constructive with her criticism, When in all actuality it insulted you. You should fill her in on how you feel since after all you have known each other for 20 years. I know one thing from experience that is You can't have a good friend without a good fight.

Answer 7

Hello! Honestly, I don't think that you should feel insulted. Everyone is different and because of this, everyone has their own opinion about things. Maybe your friend's friends just happened to liked her emails (awkward choice of words, I know, sorry, don't know how else to rephrase it). Its really no reason to get upset.

Answer 8

I just dropped a friend for doing something like this. Who knows if she's trying to hurt your feelings, that doesn't matter. What matters is she is hurting your feelings. Tell her how you feel, she probably won't understand and say something hurtful. Then drop her. She is too stuck on herself. She should have been supporting you all the way.

Answer 9

No, it is not wrong. It is just how you feel. But frankly, why be insulted? You can write if you want to; don't let her opinion stop you. That is just an excuse!

Answer 10

i found a website which is similar to myspace, http://www.friendscyberclub.com/ this website has all the features of my space like the photo upload, view pictures and profiles, forum, chat, message board, also there is a leader board, just like this one, see your name on the leader board, and you can also get to the top of the leader board, this site has both the features of yahoo answers and myspace,