I work 6 days a week, 12 hour shift heavy construction. My wife stays home after a really bad car accident?

Question

We have 3 kids total, under the age 3. I like to go to the bar just to relax. I hear screaming all day at work and don't want to come home to it, sometimes. So I go to the bar, sometimes I don't feel like calling to tell her, I just go. One time she walked in the bar with all 3 of the kids and said it was rude not to call! How dare she embaress me like that i think. In the past I use to lie about going to the bar, I would tell her I was going to the store but in reality I went to the bar. When she would confront me I'd tell her the truth F*** yeah I went to the bar, I deserve it after working all those hours.She claims she dosne't care about me going to the bar, she just wishI wouldn't lie about where I'm going. Know shes gone to the club twice this year with her relatives and admits she dances with other guys! She cooks and cleans, bitches sometimes, but I feel she hasno right going to clubs or bars.

Answer 1

Taking care of one kid under the age of 3 is a handful.. much less taking care of 3. Frankly .. I dont blame her for wanting to get out and do something for herself. My job entails a portion of construction too.. I understand how you feel.. always pressure... deadlines to make and all the screaming to get it done.. however she is stressed also. If you dont believe me.. stay home with the 3 kids just 2 days (in a row) and see if you want to scream for some type of time away. I feel that she has just as much right to go to the bars/clubs as you do.. providing you both act like you are married.. A good suggestion.. is get a friend or relative or even a neighbor to watch the kids for a couple of hours and the both of you go to the bar together. Give it a try.. you might like this idea. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Why is ok for you to stop at a bar after work and she can't. Double standards...Yes, it was rude and insentitive not to call her. Raising your 3 kids all under three would drive most women to run out the door as soon as the Dadd came come. Appreciate her and be honest with her, she's not trying to a leash on you, honey, but have some respect. She has a 24/7 job, 7 days a week no vacation, no pay, no breaks, crap proably going to the bathroom is the only time she sits down during the day! Give me a break, quit the whining, I know you work hard, but she does too. She deserves a night out on the town just as much as you do. You said you hear screaming all day at work, what does she hear...I bet a lot more thatn screams-and she's up to her neck in diapers that don't smell to rosey either. Get a babysitter, and take the woman out, both you of need it. You need together time, by yourselves with the kids...2 times this year. 2 times in 8 months! Get real..she dancing with the other guys, because she doesn't have her husband to dance with. Get some dancing shoes on, and let her get dressed up and go have some fun! You should call home, so she doesn't have to worry...I applauded for embarrassing you! I wished I had that kind-of-a nerve. She is raising 3 children, she doesn't have to raise you! Call next time, you should get down on your knees and thank God she lets you go out for a beer...Don't lie to her, because then she has every right not to believe a thing you tell her....She has every right to go to clubs or bars, make her a deal you don't go, and she don't go unless you go together! And you stick to it! The stone ages are dead and gone, get off the computer and go talk to her! You spend at 13 hours away a day and that's counting your time spent on the computer...so I think she would like you to play her a little bit of attention....Next time you stop off somewheres, call and she won't have to come looking for you...if you don't maybe she will bring your Mother and her's along for the ride...The woman has guts, and you best be remembering that! guess I can't count on you picking my as the best answer lol Be a man with responsiblities and respect for his wife and children! Grow up and take her out on the town, before some good looking guy comes by for a dance and they keep on dancing....God bless us all...................

Answer 3

I have read over your responses and I agree with one...you should not have a double standard! you wife is right it is rude not to call, she may have been worried about you thinking that maybe YOU had gotten into an accident! Me personally I think your wife really loves you and you should think about that! sounds like you have a beautiful family, sure things get a little stressful with your type of job, So let me ask you a question. Do you think that YOU could run the household and take care of the kids the way your wife does? no?

You should consider your self lucky to have your wife because quite frankly most women would not put up with your chauvinist attitude. now be honest!! do you not think that maybe you could show up one evening and tell your wife that you have a sitter for the evening and YOU take her to the bar for a night out for the both of you!!

lying...not good! how do you take it when you find that someone has lied to you??? Put the shoe on the other foot so to speak!

Answer 4

So basically you feel that you work and then deserve to go to the bar whenever.But she stays at home,can't work because of the accident,have the kids,cooks adn cleans and she doesn't?Maybe she just wants to go out to release stress like you or to get away after a hard days work as well.

Answer 5

If you can go to the bar then she should be able to go to the clubs/bars too. You need to realize that she has a 24/7 job raising the kids and taking care of the house. Don't lie to her, you wouldn't like it if she lied to you.... Would you?

Answer 6

Her job taking care of 3 children under the age of 3 is just as tiring as your job on construction. She needs something to pick her up. Get a babysitter and go out to the bar together and dance her feet off.

Answer 7

You feel you have a right to go to bars without her, but she has no right to go to bars without you? Either this whole question is a joke or you seriously do not deserve this woman who cooks and cleans and takes care of your kids. Either try to have a calm conversation and agree that from now on you two will have complete honesty in your relationship or get counseling.

Answer 8

how is it fair for you to go and not her, I can understand both sides. I was in a very bad car accident in may of 05, no one to help me, im only 27 i just finished school and i have 2 daughters. Im pretty sure your wife hates the fact that the car accident has changed her life I have. Then no one is probably there for her to take care of the kids. No matter what she has to keep going. So now she is injured, has kids to take care of on top of house and home, while after work her husband can release himself by going out. When does her shift end? How can u have fun and she can't? Believe me being injured and having to still do your "wifely duties" is very hard. But i feel for you too, cuz i use to complain all the time to my hubby, but then i had to realize I resented the fact his life can go on and mine has been changed. I felt it was not fair, so now i have to constantly talk to him to release my feelings, it takes time to adjust. Both sides need to be very understanding of each others issues. I could go on for ever telling you about my struggle.

Answer 9

People should take responsibilities of their acts...How in the world can people make babies like that??why wouldn't you take care of yourself and save everybody a lot of pain?
Now that you "both" had the "intelligence" to make 3 babies in a row..it's your responsibility to take care of them.....kids are that: screaming,playing,crying....didn't you know??the bar will have to wait for both....take care of your kids, get a baby sitter and try to calm down and think things over before you get into a fight and someone will pay consequences:the kids

Answer 10

your wife cooks clean does laundry takes care of the kids yes your wife works alot harder in the home than your giving her credit for