What do you think of people that go places alone?

Question

I don't think there is anything wrong with going somewhere alone. It can even mean you are brave because you are doing something without a friend to back you up. Trying something new without the safety net. As long as you are confident then why not.

But there is something taboo about being alone. People are such pack animals that it can be hard to get into a new group if you're a loner. An example being people eatting alone. Sometimes others will think things about them like they are "uncool" or something. I ask because I need to start getting out into the GLBTQ world yet I don't have any (well not many) gay, lesbian, or bisexual friends to go to dance clubs and events with. My straight friends are great but don't really want to go to there, duh. So I guess I'm going to be going alone.

So what do you think of people that go places alone? Do you try to talk to them? Are you nice if they try to talk to you or join in with your group? Do tell.

Answer 1

Ignore what Grey dog said... I like your avatar's hair... blue or purple.. I'm actually considering dyeing or having red or blue highlites. But that's just a thought... doing it is another question.. Heheh.

Okay, back to business... Yes, I do everything alone: shopping, grocery, eating at restaurants, seeing a movie, etc. Like you, most of my friends are str8 (and married) and they have their families so going to gay bars is outa the question. Altho' I do wanna try it out sometime, yes, alone... As for gay friends, they're all scattered all over. Then my siblings have families and lives of their own so that's why I do everything alone.

I have seen a lot of people eat/dine alone or even see a movie alone but I haven't tried striking a conversation with them...yet. There r alot of reasons why people do things alone: their friends are unavailable, or maybe even family members, or they're real loners... or they just want to get away from stress, ie, family, work, home, etc. It all depends on the person but I don't see the problem of doing stuff alone. I've gotten used to it already. Like what u said, as long as you're confident and u don't mind what other people are thinking, then go ahead and enjoy yourself with yourself. ;o)

Answer 2

I remember when I used to be a complete loner. Had no one to hang out with, no one to call, and not even the guts to go to someone and talk to that person, perhaps initiate a good conversation and take it from there. Must tell you, I had many opportunities, but was afraid to take them, because I had no self-confidence. Most of the people I wanted to be friends ended up being flakes, fakes, morons, just not the right people for me.

However, I did go to the clubs anyways. Dance, have a drink, try to talk to someone, and it did felt bad. I used to see everyone chatting with their friends, having a great time, and all, and me...just watching, wishing someone came up to me and invited me to dance.

Now, things are not that way anymore. I am not going to say I've tons of friends, but the little friends I have, I am happy with. We go out together, dance, drink, and enjoy life at full extent. My best friend is straight, she's a girl, single mother of two children, and I adore her. All my friends are gay, except for my best friend and another girl, but we love each other as friends.

It is not wrong to be alone, but when it is something you do all the time, specially when you have the opportunities to go out into the world and make some friends, it is wrong if you don't take them. I have become very social. That is actually in my nature. I talk to people wether I know them or not. I am a nice person, not too nice, but not rude either. I do get deffensive when I have to be, but otherwise, I'm very fair, I'm someone anyone would like to have as a friend. One thing I don't do, is I don't spoil anyone. If someone wants something from me, they've to earn it.

I live in California, if you want, we can email each other from time to time, be friends. [e-mail] (including dots).

Answer 3

I am a person that goes places alone. The movies, restaurants, clubs, shows, shopping, you name it. But I don't try to join a group. If I've gone somewhere alone it's because I don't want company. The iPod is a wonderful thing.

I'd say go for it, but I'm rather solitary by nature. If you're not comfortable being out on your own, then there's no point in going.

Answer 4

Very interesting question! I myself do not often go places alone (unless it's shopping for groceries or to the library) and I much prefer having someone with me. Unfortunately my partner is an OTR semi-driver and if I want to "go" anywheres during the week, I have to go by myself.
I have to admit that I never thought about your question and I didn't really notice a single person when I am out. I do feel funny eating by myself (which is why I stay and nosh at home). I shall try to talk to somebody new next time I notice they're sitting alone. Thanks!

Answer 5

If you feel that you are confidant enough to to out on the town alone that's cool. Just be careful some times predators that go to clubs and bars look for the prey that are easier to get to. Be safe and have a great time.

Answer 6

I think being gay is wrong , but thats my opinion. Do you really have a problem going out to eat ? If so , do you have purple hair and 18 nose rings ? That might make it uncomfortable going solo , but you should be able to go anywhere you want to. I'm a straight guy , but if my wife and I were going out to eat and somebody was harassing somebody trying to eat I would have to kick their azz. Am I missing the point?

Answer 7

I'm in the same boat unfortunately. :( The more important thing is how outgoing you are. I'm a bit of a courageous wallflower, and I usually having a boring time going out by myself. The best way to enjoy going out solo is to hook up with some people at the place you go to. Be the first one to say hi. Just walk up to someone and start a conversation with them. The other option is to go out solo, be a wallflower, and hope someone else starts a conversation with you.
As a side note, be careful going out solo. It can be dangerous.
Best of luck to ya! :D

Answer 8

i think that people that go places alone are great and brave, because i know its hard not to have backup. i often talk to people at clubs who have gone there alone coz their mates arent gay. i have also gone places alone - of course it is scary, but if u are an outgoing person like i am, its no problem at all. i think it also gives u a chance of meeting a lot more people. i dont think its uncool to go somewhere alone!

Answer 9

most people immediately assume you couldn't get a date, don't have any friends , and that your a loser. thats because we secretly fear being alone and watched it makes us vulnerable, it's the whole fight or flight mentality ingrained in our dna. theres safety in numbers from predators, thats why most animals live in herds. when an animal chooses to disregaurd safety the others assume there's something wrong on a basic level, we're only recently (in evolutionary sense) out of the jungle ourselves, so those old ideas are still with us hiding just under the veneer of civilization.

Answer 10

Dang, nothing at all. I'm a full time TG and, before I met my significant other, did EVERYTHING alone. Mostly because I had self esteem issues, but also because I'm just not a very social person. I don't hate people, they just annoy me! :-)

I tried joining some TG 'support' groups, but all they wanted was fetish sex and not friendship. That was a nightmare. Grizzly Adams in a dress just wasn't for me.