Okay I have been with my husband for 6 yrs and we are very happy. My ex boyfriend from high school is back in town, and every time I think of him I get butterflies. My mother and father made me leave him because I wasn't allowed to date at the time. We were both 15. How can I find out if we really had something back then or if it was just puppy love?
I dislike my new in-laws very much. My husband is an only son, and after we got married it seems like they have done everything in their power to break us up, and I don't know how to deal with them anymore. The latest thing is that they want to come stay with us. I know my husband loves his family and I don't want to deprive him, but I am sick of this.
Please give me some good advice. Is it just my imagination that things might be better on the other side? What can I do?
2006-08-01 11:45:01 · 18 answers · asked by Julie 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Remember these words!!!
The grass is NEVER greener on the other side of the fence, and as soon as you hop that fence, you'll find yourself landing up to your ankles in a big pile of dog poop!!!
Your ex is an ex for a reason! He has changed, you have changed, your lives have changed independently - it will NOT be the same as it was. You had what you had, now you have what you have.
Time moves forward, not back. When you try to turn back time, it's like throwing a monkey wrench into a well-working clock - things tend to screw up very quickly. By dwelling on the past, you can not move forward in the future.
And most importantly - You HAVE a man who loves you. You did not marry his parents, you married him. You are an EQUAL PARTNER in this relationship. If you do not want them to come stay with you, you must express your feelings to him as gently and politely as possible. Do not insult them. Suggest a better place for them to stay nearby, offer to go halves on a hotel, etc. This is your life too, not only his. YOU MATTER!
2006-08-01 12:03:08 · answer #1 · answered by Jylsamynne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well we always think that the grass is always greener on the other side..however if you're happy with your husband you need to see a couselor together to deal with the in-law problems. You married each other and when u do the parents are suppose to butt out but some of them never get it. Perhaps a counselor can be able to help you both to deal the this aspect of yoUr relationship and still maintain a good relationship with his parents. As far as an ex-boyfriend when you were 15 it was puppy love or else he would have contacted you when you were 18 and you would have been waiting....forget that this is your life now. And if u can't talk with ur husband a counselor can teach u that as well:) good luck
2006-08-01 11:54:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass is not always greener on the other side. Most people find this out when it is too late. The question you should ask yourself is this: Do you love your husband with all your heart? Are you willing to give up your life for this person? I think you have answered this question by marrying your husband. The last thing you want to do is to pursue a lost love. It is like a moth chasing after an open flame..... you may get burned. Any decision you make right now is the decision you will have to live with. Good luck to you!!
2006-08-01 11:51:37 · answer #3 · answered by JJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok 1st
you are happy with your husband. you cannot blame what is happening and how you feel on your in-laws. no matter what they have done to seperate you and your husband this is not an excuse.because you married your husband and not his family, so forget about that and think about 2 things here. if you left your husband and went back to this guy to find out if you ever had a love with him. and it goes wrong youll lose every thing. 2nd. you seperated from him back in high school because you were too young and your parents didnt allow this..so how would your parents feel if you ended your marriiage to go back to him..because they will never forgive you for ending a 6 yr relation this way..and youll have problems again this time itll be your parents..so my suggestion would be this. talk to your old flame. go for a coffee talk about your past. he may have a partner. he may be going through a divorce he may have children. you dont know what his situation is now. find out. he may not love you. theres a lot of dangers here. and a lot to lose. so just be careful and i hope the choices you make will be good ones.
2006-08-01 12:09:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well being that you are only 21 or 22 at the most, I can say without a doubt it was probably puppy love you experienced with your ex. With regard to your in-laws remember that you will be spending the rest of your life with your husband, not them so try to keep a stiff upper lip and see the good in them while they visit. I know it is hard, but well worth it for the long term strength of your marriage. Best wishes =)
2006-08-01 11:49:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should have thought about that before you said you wanted to spend your entire life with someone.
On the other hand, you shouldn't continue a relationship with someone you don't want to be with. As it sounds like you are happy with your husband, why would you risk hurting that? You'll meet a lot of people who you think might have been the one if you hadn't met your husband. That's just part of the package.
In-laws, please. That's such a cop-out. Have you talked to them or even to your husband about them? That would be a start toward a solution.
2006-08-01 11:51:02 · answer #6 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship with your husband- when you married him, you married his family. As far as the former flame goes, stay away. Your hands should be full with a divorce.
2006-08-01 11:49:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is fake. How are they new in-laws if you have been married for six years? Also, I have never heard of a family breaking up a marriage and continuing to try after so long.
2006-08-01 11:48:59 · answer #8 · answered by RandyGE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep your vow
dont bring in that story is an exemption for keeping you vow
as a guy who was once in the position of that guy, i can tell you, if the love was really that strong, not your or his parents could havediscontinued it unless you moved far away.
that he may be interested is doubtful. if he loved you, he should want you to be happy. sometimes there is place in life for a man minus the frills, he can be a friend of your husband. thats how you can fulfill your purpose together.
2006-08-01 11:59:29 · answer #9 · answered by Piffle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is sssoooo weird, I'm in similar situation. I saw my ex shopping this saturday, brought up a lot of old feelings! I also got butterflies. my hubby is sorta a jerk. So made me confused. But we are married so, hang in there! If you want you can contact me and we can exchange stories.
2006-08-01 11:52:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋