i need to find out if a certain girlie is interested in me. however I don't want to make an *** of myself. I can't just go up and ask her as we work together and if anyone else found out I'd die . Any other more devious suggestions?
2006-08-01 11:11:11 · 14 answers · asked by Nobigdeal 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Lol... different girl...I'm fond of the women..
2006-08-01 11:20:05 · update #1
Oh my!
I apologize you are in such a difficult situation.
I have a few suggestions you should consider:
Before you ask your co-worker out for a date, first check to see if your company has an employee dating policy. While there are no federal or state laws that prohibit employee dating, there are no laws preventing employers from forbidding employee dating; especially between managers and their direct reports. Employee dating is more detrimental in certain occupations than others, so check to see if any company policies exist prior to asking your fellow co-worker out.
Do not repeatedly ask the same co-worker out for a date. If the co-worker you are interested in tells you that she is not interested in going out with you, do not continue to ask her out on a date.
Develop an office relationship before you develop a romantic relationship. Take the time to learn as much as you can about the co-worker whom you are planning to date. Is she related to the boss? Is she already in a relationship? Is the co-worker prone to gossip and tells her personal life to anyone who will listen? After you develop an office relationship; ask her out for a business lunch date prior to a real date. A business lunch will help you judge if asking the coworker out for a romantic date is a good idea.
Realize that in reality relationships do not work out like they do on TV. If your dating relationship ends on a sour note, you will still have to work with the co-worker. For this reason, it is important to start any relationship out as slow as possible. A whirl-wind relationship is only likely to have devastating ramifications for your career.
Agree not to flirt at work. After you and your co-worker are dating, agree to set up relationship rules for the workplace. Nothing makes co-workers feel more jealous or insecure than to know that two employees have the "hots" for each other. So agree not to flirt at work, not to send e-mail love notes, and not to inform your co-workers or management until you both agree that it is the proper time.
Develop open communication. When you are dating a coworker you have what is called a "dual relationship." A dual relationship means that you have two different types of relationships (business and romantic) with the same person. It is this dual relationship quality that can make employee dating potentially conflictual and sometimes downright explosive! So, it is important that you talk and listen to each other`s feelings about your new dual relationship. Even if you do not plan on seeing each other after the first date, still talk with each other about any possible workplace entanglements that could potentially cause conflict.
Do not be afraid to talk about the topic of sexual harassment. Agree ahead of time that if either party starts to feel harassed that it will be openly discussed, and that either party is free to terminate the relationship if any type of harassment develops. Sexual harassment occurs when an individual is discriminated against because she will not comply with unwanted sexual requests, must endure a hostile work environment, or is discriminated against because of special treatment given to a co-worker who complies with sexual requests.
If you are a manager or have a high-ranking position within the company, you will need to inform your employer that you are dating a fellow co-worker, but first read and familiarize yourself with your company`s policies on employee dating. If the employee you are dating is your direct report or you are responsible for her performance reviews, promotions, work assignments, or pay raises; you will need to transfer those responsibilities to a different party. If you are a co-worker dating another co-worker, there is no reason for you to inform your employer in most occupations and circumstances. However, there may be exceptions in certain occupations to inform your employer, so make sure you check your company employee dating policies.
Once the dating secret is out, which usually occurs faster then you want, be prepared to confirm the rumor with your employer. Tell your employer that you plan to keep your relationship professional at work, will not participate in tasks where a conflict of interest may develop, and will inform your employer if either dating party starts to feel that she is being sexually harassed.
Those are just a few, but sufficient, suggestions and I hope you consider them.
I hope that my advice helped.
Take care!
2006-08-01 11:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by flod_prfekshun 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Organise a work drink with friends of friends etc...
spend lots of time, asking her about her, find out about her, talk to her like u care, and that u want to care...be interested in her without being direct that u want to sleep with her!!
it may take time, but u never know, she may actually feel the same about u, and sometimes u have to make an *** of urself to get the things that u want!
2006-08-05 08:00:52 · answer #2 · answered by storm.minx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you just jump in to a pool if you were not sure the water was warm enough ? No... Of course you wouldn't ... So... if you do not want to make a fool of yourself DO NOT ask her out yet as she will not say yes. Chat her up a bit here and there first... for a few days... everyday and see her reaction. IF SHE IS INTERESTED YOU, YOU'LL KNOW IT.
2006-08-01 11:45:37 · answer #3 · answered by RED-CHROME 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Create a social occasion at work with lots of your colleagues and the girl your interested in. And see how she behaves around you in a more social envirnoment , people tend to act more like themselves when not constrained to the work place. Peoples behaviour always changes when they have had a social drink too her feelings for you may become apparent then
2006-08-01 11:16:30 · answer #4 · answered by Gemma H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couldn't you ask a couple of people including her out for an after work drink. Then you could see if you can pick up some positive vibes.
2006-08-01 11:19:36 · answer #5 · answered by bunnyfan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see this is what I meant about the last question? Is it the same girl or are you a serial stalker? If she talks to you sometimes and not others she is game playing in order to reel you in! One of you needs to be a grown up here and I vote you! So just go up to her and say, DO YOU FANCY GRABBING A DRINK AFTER WORK SO WE CAN KEEP TALKING!!!! And yes I am shouting cos u aint listening!!
2006-08-01 11:19:00 · answer #6 · answered by Sluttty McSluttt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask her if she wants to go out for lunch one day or something? In this weather you could easily get away with suggesting a glass of wine in a pub garden. Go on, just do it!! You only live once and are a long time dead!!
2006-08-01 11:17:20 · answer #7 · answered by Moi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her out for a drink after work! Take it from there!! Good luck!!
2006-08-01 11:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by Fluke 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well be her mate and talk more to her and then invite her to dinner an ask her out but make her promise that she wont tell anyone if itz a rejection which i hope it wont be good luck boi
2006-08-01 11:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just go and talk to her its the only way you'll find out
2006-08-05 01:18:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋