Well, not much... it's never been 'good' or natural... we are fiercely attracted to each other physically... I am a very attractive girl, and I am not the 'intimidating' bossy type... but from day one, he didn't really try more than to kiss me... and then when I finally tried to do it with him, he really tried to avoid... then I found 'patches'... which I later learned were hormone patches....!! to increase libido, for guys w/ low testosterone? not that those helped, much. I guess it was okay at first, except that I was nervous.... then when I finally was NOT nervous, and enjoyed it, HE stopped the patches (I guess), and so basically, if I don't insist, we don't do it... AND sometimes, it doesn't 'work' for long... he seems to act as if this is NORMAL-and I am so sexually frustrated, but don't like to say anything about it. But it is hard to not feel mad, hurt, whatever. I mean, it's okay with me if we TRY and then it doesn't happen (BTW, he has rarely 'finished', and that was mostly
2006-08-01 11:09:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Men's Health
at the beginning... then it was only with oral... I will come to bed wearing something sexy, and he loves to hold me... but generally he does not even get hard. NO he is NOT gay.... we are together all the time. BUT he does not have a normal sex drive. And this deeply hinders our intimacy, and our love. I just don't see how he can act like that is normal, or like he doesn't care. I want to scream at him and say'why don't you care and why don't you want to do it!' but I don't because I don't want to hurt him- maybe he DOES care... once I asked him'why don't you care?' and he said 'of course I care- I don't know what's wrong- just not in the mood' I know he sleeps alot and does not like his job but otherwise seems happy but bites nails. Is he nervous or grossed out about sex? Is he scared because I am the first girl he's ever been this close to? HE's 34 btw... I'm 34 also... I want sex 2 X a day... LOL maybe I get it 2 X a month, if lucky... and he does not 'get into it'... what 2 do?
2006-08-01 11:14:12 · update #1
No, he is not gay!! (If he was gay, he'd spend his spare time with a dude, not all weekend with me!! But with the patches... I guess he got them cuz he's low on testosterone and also he has low thyroid, which can cause that but he takes the thyroid pills... he's not overweight. He does not like to go down on girls though... I think he is uptight in general... maybe are some guys just so scared of being close that sex freaks them out to the point of that? and also, maybe once that has happened, they then avoid sex as much as possible cuz they are embarrased knowing it could happen anytime? when it 'ends' in the middle, he tries to 'revive' it... but I guess that is a bit uncomfortable for both of us.. is that why he'd rather just hold me than try to do it? anyone else ever have this problem? Isn't this like every guy's worst nightmare, and is that why he says he's only a 5 on a 1 to 10 scale of happiness? I want to marry him, have kids, etc. He maybe makes me *** 2 X a mo but ???
2006-08-01 11:19:27 · update #2
He aint normal, I get aroused if the wind changes direction. I'd do it 5 times a day if my wife would let me.
2006-08-01 11:16:11 · answer #1 · answered by moolie_wfo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
many guys are with a girl because they are suppose to does not mean he does not genuinely care for you. A friend of ours was married 10 years and every time he made love to his with he would go throw up. He loved her just didn’t love sex due to the fact he was Gay and with the church it was not an option to live that way. He eventually did about 10 years later after a couple kids and messed up his wife a bit.
But here is what it boils down to… gay or not. Sex is very important in most relationships if he can not do it when it is early on what about in years to come. My suggestion is to end it, have a good cry, and move on.
2006-08-01 11:22:45 · answer #2 · answered by Tequila Gypsy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there a chance he may be gay? I only ask this because he reminds me of me. I always knew I was gay, but couldn't accept it, so I tried to have girlfriends. I was never interested in sex with them, But I loved "being with them". And they always had to initiate sex with me, or I'd have to have a few drinks. I even went to my doctor, and said I had low interest in sex, and guess what, he put me on testosterone... Only you will know if he is gay, trust your instincts. Is he more like a best friend that you relate to, do you ever tell yourself he is like "no other man I've ever dated"? Do you guys have more in common than a normal heterosexual couple would have? Only you will know. I'm just expressing my experience. It doesn't mean it applies to you and your guy, but just something to consider.
and 34 y/o and you are his first? Something isn't right there, and you know it in your guy. Don't let your desperation conceal what's really going on. When I was struggling with my sexuality, and dating women, I didn't have sex with men. When I finally did have sex with a man, I finally knew what was right for me, and wasn't afraid anymore. I stopped trying to be "normal" right then, and there. You seem to be extra sensitive about the possibility of him being gay. It touches a sensitive spot in you. Almost defensive. And when we are defensive, we are trying to protect ourselves. Protect ourselves from the truth?
2006-08-01 11:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by John S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the perfect problem for family counseling. You need to work this out before you get married otherwise you are going to be committed to a guy who will provide you with nothing but sexual frustration.
If you are frustrated now, can you imagine what it will be like later if he decides that wants to give up sex entirely? Do not commit to a lifetime with this guy unless you can live without sex or he starts to change his attitude.
You need to take an either/or stand. Ultimatums aren't great but you need to find out what your future would be with this man.
Get him into some kind of therapy, either family or sexual. And stand firm or you'll waste years of your life on a guy that ignores important needs of yours.
2006-08-01 11:20:58 · answer #4 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly i dont think he is gay...I suffer from delayed ejaculation which over time compounds itself and affects your sexual confidence leading to loss of erection ..then avoidance of sex...i have a very high sex drive but until recently when it came to sex i just tried to avoid leading to problems with my wife...im 35 over the years it improved as i have 2 kids but then got a lot worse. I swallowed my pride and went to the doctor ...who sent me to a Urology consultant who measured my testosterone(which was fine.) They deduced that my problem is PSYCHOLOGICAL,ive been referred to a specialist. Ive had one appointment which was eye opening as i felt like the only man in the world to suffer from this.He told me there is lot worse out there I.E men who never *** no matter what they do.
Apparently its something you are born with and is very treatable!!
My point is seek help...he will not getover it by himself.
If you want any advice contact me....makes u feel better that its not just you.
P.S You sound an absolute star...not all girls are so understanding...stick with him..just get him to help himself!
To reiterate and hopefully make you feel better ....he sounds just like ive been...i tried fight it ,suss it out myself, anylise it...u cant ..GET Proffesional help....The specialists 1st question was Do you Find men attractive..which I DO NOT!!!
At A guess ...he taking the wrong path thinking its his testosterone....his sexual confidence is artificially lowering his Sex drive
2006-08-01 13:10:58 · answer #5 · answered by wigannwuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to artwork in your self-properly worth. each little thing you have top now, contradicts what you're saying you opt for for. Being which you have been in undesirable and abusive relationships before tells me which you will finally end up interior the comparable place time and time back. until you alter your habit, fairly coping with what you tolerate from human beings. i'm going to element out what's incorrect with this relationship and the type you contradict your self. a million) you opt for for honesty. She's an admitted compulsive liar. you will never get honesty. 2) you found no longer something incorrect together with her. i think the undeniable fact that she's a compulsive liar is high quality via you. the undeniable fact that she cheated on exes, and lied to you, is totally okay to you apart from would. 3)you do no longer decide for to get cheated on back. properly, enable me element out the glaring. you would be cheated on back. considering you enable it to ensue. you enable it via placing your self up for it. you place your self up for it via being in relationships with compulsive liars. 4) Her tiny lies are pointless. you're maximum remarkable approximately that. this is as a results of the fact she's a compulsive liar. whilst no longer so tiny issues ensue, do you definitely have confidence she will have the skill to today be cured of her compulsive mendacity? So, on an identical time as you think that she is insanely in love with you(this coming from a compulsive liar, whether she suggested it to you or somebody else, does not matter), her strikes do no longer say that. you need to gain which you're choosing those women. definite, you're. you're interested in abusive women. you need to end, considering you will proceed to fail at relationships, fail miserably. you will proceed to be abused and harm. It won't end until you ultimately open your eyes, and alter. to alter, you need to first understand that there is a topic. Then handle it, with a bit of luck you're able to try this with a good therapist or help team. you will initiate seeing the varieties of habit that have brought about you to wind up in undesirable relationships. From there you could initiate healing, and initiate making extra clever judgements, and maximum severely loving your self. good luck and that i in my opinion do choose you the terrific:):)
2016-11-03 11:46:57 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey you two need to talk!
He may need to take Viagra?and is too embarrassed to see a doctor...maybe talking to you will help and there are a lot of ways to not be 'frustrated' besides intercourse.
2006-08-01 11:15:26 · answer #7 · answered by PRISSY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly you should talk to him and let him know how you feel. If he knows you are unhappy and he "does care" then he will try harder to please you. Me and my fiance have sex atleast twice a day and i know that whenever she wants it i'm ready. He should see a doctor, they do have a little blue pill that helps these things. the main thing is to talk to him though.
2006-08-01 11:17:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2006-08-09 08:00:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Either he's gay or he's getting it from some place else! Sorry to say
2006-08-01 11:28:17 · answer #10 · answered by wyckedli_sweet 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋