Should hubby go to the funeral of a good friend if family is going to be there?

Question

My husbands family all disowned him a few weeks ago and now a good friend has suddenly died and he doesn't think he should go to the visitation because his family might be there. I say under the circumstances they all need to grow up but he refuses to listen any advice

Answer 1

Yes, he should go. That was his friend, he should pay his respects.

Answer 2

His family may have disowned him, but the act of disowning him does not in anyway take away or make his relationship with his friend any less. He has just as much right to be there as anyone else. If his family has an issue with it, they can either leave early, or make a ruckus while there. If they decide to be rude about it, your husband can apologize to his friends family for his own family, and make them look like the idiots they are.

Answer 3

I agree but if he refuses to listen then he does. I guess it wasn't that good a friend anyway or hubby would realize that this is only going to happen once and he doesn't get another chance to say good bye and show his respect to the family of the deceased.

Answer 4

My Aunt & Uncle were going through a horrible divorce, she had hardly any family in this area, but, he had allot, then suddenly my cousin (22 yrs old) dies of a brain annurisym, and heres his side on one side of the funeral, her side on the other. Not one idle word was said, at least they put their childishness aside for the time.

Your husband needs to go, its not for anyone else, but to pay respects for the one who passed on, it has nothing to do with the fam. He'll regret it if he doesnt.

Answer 5

The visitation isn't about his relationship with his family. The right thing to do is go to the funeral, and avoid any conflict with his own family. This is not about him or them. If he goes to the funeral and just ignores, or nods to his family, he's doing the classy thing. They can do whatever they want - that's on their heads.

Answer 6

of course he should go if family is the only reason hes not wanting to go, as a funeral is something that happens once and you dont get that chance again, if his family has disowned him, which is awful, then he has to carry on regardless, he did disown them, so they have the problem not him and if he wants to go then he really should.....

Answer 7

They do need to grow up...this is about paying respects to a friend who has passed, and offering comfort and support to the dead person's family...it has NOTHING do to with your husband's family quarrel...

You cannot make him go...but if you knew the person who died, you should go...make sure your husband knows you are going...and show your respect and support for the grieving family...

Answer 8

What does his family disowning him have anything to do with him paying his respects to his friend ? His family does not own the cemetery. How rude would it be for him not to go ?

Answer 9

If he already burned bridges with his family, then it won't get any worse. But not going to his good friend's funeral will burn bridges with his remaining friends of his friend (sounds confusing). It depends if his friendship transcends certain boundaries. It's a test of loyalty. There's only one time to go.
In general, weddings and funerals are times to "bury the hatchet". He needs to go and swallow the bitter pill.

Answer 10

You are right. Even if they want to disown him, nothing should get out of hand at a funeral, because that is disrespectful.

Answer 11

Who cares what your husband's family wants? Or for that matter, who cares what your husband wants? The only appropriate consideration is this - what does the family of the deceased want? And THAT is how everyone should gracefully behave.