Is there a written plan for resolving conflict between Dad & 18 yr old son. Ground rules, TO DOs etc.?

Question

Disagreements quickly escalate 18 yr old male makes personal attacks and blames and Father repeats the same complaints over exasperating son. I would like a written plan for them to use when arguments occur that they could refer to, follow and implement that would allow for more peace in their home.

Answer 1

18 is old enough to move out on his own. Only one alpha male per house, and the son isn't it. Son can be the alpha in his own house, or the beta in Dad's.

Answer 2

Anything that teaches them about how to fight fair would work. Although the son learned his 'technique' from the dad so he has nobody to blame but himself. What you should say to the dad is...amazing what you teach them that you weren't trying to teach them, and its sort of like looking in a mirror isn't it? The 'ground rules' for communication should have been set years ago and perhaps now that daddy sees how frustrating it is to deal with someone like himself he'll take an interest in learning how to communicate better.

Answer 3

Something I have found is writing out answers and problems. Ask each of them a couple of questions about the problem like: What could you have done differently? What do you think the other is not understanding? What do you feel the real problem is? I have done this many times with my boyfriend and we have found that we actually agree, we just aren't understanding each other. Also this forces them to think about their actions and how they are choosing their words rather than being emotional about it.

Answer 4

Pistols at 20 paces?
He's 18 see ya don't let the door hit you in the @$$ on the way out!
Make him pay rent!

Answer 5

the son is 18 let them work it out aint neither of em gonna go by rules