I am 23 engaged to a man who's 36 we both work however before I was in a relationship with him he was financially strapped due to 2 children which he pays child support, 2 children which he is sole responsible for and they reside with us! As well as the overhead costs to live in the area HE desires to live in (expensive)! I am always unable to go out due to the fact that he never can find a babysitter for his children, he never has any extra money to go out with, also he is not outgoing! He and I have a child together which I pay 150 a week for babysitting him only pays for her diaper $20 bucks a month and medical insurance (he's maxed out so it's the same price as it was before her birth)! My I also add although I don't pay any bills at the home I shell out $600 bask a month for childcare! He and I haven't been anywhere out side the city limits and we very rarely go out together! He has Avery demanding job which can demand 12 hours or more a day from him! I am very sexually frustrated
2006-08-01 10:17:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can't have an organism off of intercourse it's not possible! I also feel deprived because I get so excited to try and buy things we normally can buy I spend my money on things for the whole family later regretting it because I can't get my hair, nails, or feet done. Although I love my daughter I go through highs and lows of the relationship where I don't want to have sex or even feel sexy (baby weight). This relationship feels mundane! I need a change I feel miserable I try to look on the brighter side and say things will get better but I feel like after 3 years it's not how I would like it to be!!!!!!! I see other couples happy, outgoing, and just glowing I myself feel like I put on a mirage and I really feel like blah! Help me please ;-(
2006-08-01 10:17:41 · update #1
Why is it that I keep getting spelling errors I guess I type too fast!
2006-08-01 10:27:32 · update #2
Why is it that I keep getting spelling errors I guess I type too fast!
2006-08-01 10:27:33 · update #3
I have a job at a corprate office making good money but............
2006-08-01 10:28:50 · update #4
I have communicated this over and over to him but........he's not listening he thinkss I am crazy!
2006-08-01 10:30:49 · update #5
It wasn't like this in the begining and I am engaged not married and again I want advice or what to say to him to try and fix it!
2006-08-01 10:32:00 · update #6
You have a finiancial and marriage crisis. Log on to www.daveramsey.com and check-out his program.
(this is not a scam -- it really works)
2006-08-01 10:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am sure his lavish lifestyle is what attracted you to him in the first place so you can't beat him down for that now. You are only 23 and have alot of maturing to do if you are going to mother your child and take on your two stepchildren. Going out, getting nails and hair done are all luxuries. Once you have a family and if your income cannot afford these luxuries you cannot do them. This isn't playing house. This is real life. If you are not happy now do not make the mistake of marrying this guy because it is not going to get better after the wedding. It is probably best that you move back with your parents until you can get back on your feet. And who knows if this man is going to be able to pay child support for a 3rd child.
You have yourself in a pretty big mess but you are still alive. Acknowledge the mistakes you made so that you don't make them again and move forward.
Good luck!
2006-08-01 17:40:22 · answer #2 · answered by SthrnWay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is at least you have found all this out "before" you got married. I would suggest not getting married at all. If you think things have changed now, just wait until "after" your married. Life is hard, for "everyone". It takes all that you make just to survive in this life and you throw in a bunch of kids and your talking about even MORE money. Yeah, it gets in the way of relationships, and going out together and haircuts, etc. etc. but it's the life now. Not only for you but for so many other people. If you can't accept it, then I suggest you move on with your life. Maybe he's not the right person for you after all. He has a lot of responsibility and you have to be in agreement to deal with it. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-01 17:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to stop comparing yourself to others. This will only make you miserable and envy is not a good thing.
Second, you know what you were getting in to. You are too youngm, and yes, you have a child but you have a life ahead of you. Life is too short to be unhappy and you cannot put your life on hold and put up with somebody elses problems.
Don't marry him. he's got a lot of baggage that you are not willing to put up with anymore. It';s nt fair to you to become a bitter unhappy woman at such tender age.
Go back home and get a job or get back to school. Good luck
2006-08-01 17:27:23 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you want to hear is that it's ok for you to leave him and ask for a divorce. Under the circumstances, I think it is the only logical decision. You are 23, too young to sit at home all the time. Combine all of your complaints, and I think you'd be much happier without this person in your life. Just be a good mom and be good to yourself. Everything else will fall into place. Good Luck
2006-08-01 17:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your young and still have a chance to be happy so if you are not married get grants to go back to school improve your life and be postive things will change and for the better. keep smiling and all will be good once a friend told me do great things with your life while you have it and make the best out of the worst and you will be happy and it worked i found strength to move on in the realationship and found true happiness it will happen with a pstive attitiude
2006-08-01 17:30:57 · answer #6 · answered by fordsrock_2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please read this. i am just a 12 year old boy but i am very experienced with life. i have many problems, now most are managed but i still have some problems. i am the expert. i understand you still him and his family and he love you and your family. i am very sorry but you need to dump him. his way too old for you and i am sure he knows more than you. he is taking too much advantage of you. i am sure he divorced his exwife because he was taking too much advantage of her too. you are paying too much especially for his children which arent even yours. dont go out with him if he isnt outstanding and you guys dont go out together that much. he is very much of a loser and is very irresponsible. this is the beginning of your life and your adulthood and it is being messed up. i know it is hard but if you want a good life dump him and don't go out with men for a while and have a good life. i am sorry to hear that. you just need to be independent and not get in the bad crowd. i am sorry!!!!!!!!just email me back and tell me how it is going. my email address is skater_dude502@yahoo.com
2006-08-01 17:54:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your better off dumping him. With all those bills he has and the way he wants to live expensively, he has a champange taste with a beer man's wallet.
2006-08-01 17:23:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him you can make it work. Relationships are not easy, you need to make sacrifices for each other. You need to sit down with your mad and tell him how you feel- communication is the key.
2006-08-01 17:28:07 · answer #9 · answered by mightymight 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUR DOING ITS NOT ONLY YOUR LIFE IS YOUR DAUGHTERS WIFE AND YOU KNEW THIS
2006-08-01 17:28:57 · answer #10 · answered by crazy 4 somethin' real 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋