At first it was wonderful and now things have changed he has a temper that want quit. We argue alot. Before he left he was a Deacon of our church and now he want even go to church with me any more. The other night he got mad cause I asked him to spend more time at home and not at the local golf course. I just don't understand why he doesn't want to be with me more. You would think that after being apart from one another you couldn't get enough of each other. I need help in trying to save my marriage if there is anyone out there that has been in my shoes with their husband please let me know how to handle it.. Thanks and God Bless Oh and we have been married for 9 years..
2006-08-01 09:30:49 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please know that people care about what you are going thru. I certainly do because you and your husband gave up a big part of your lives to defend our freedom. But to lose your marriage, oh my Lord, I can't help to sadden by this. Do they offer counseling at the base? Both of you need to go...we will never understand what he has went thru and we can't say honestly that we do...
Sounds like he is mad at God, and we can pray. God does miracles, and I will pray for you both. Has any of the church's members or fellow deacon come to talk to him? He has lost his path, and no one can blame him because again we don't know what he had to do to survive over there. Have you told him that you don't care what he done over there, that you know he proably done things he's not proud of, he's ashamed of, things he is having problems dealing with., that it doesn't matter WHAT it was, that you are just so happy to have him home, and that you need him! That your love is strong enough not to know the details of that period of his life, unless he wants to talk about it...I a Air Force brat, and Daddy came home distant and seemed uncaring for a time after serving over seas during Vietnman, but Momma just keep loving him, and he work thru it, and to this day he doesn't talk about it....but Daddy was Daddy again! I hope you get some helpful answers and I hope you both feel
God's love and that he answers your prayers, and I will be praying...I am so sorry, people just don't understand what these military families go thru, Praying hard.....God bless us all........
2006-08-01 09:49:26 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋
He's seen more than most of us will see in a lifetime. Let him have some time to cool off. Let him enjoy being back home for a little while. I can totally understand wanting him to be close to you, but also understand that he might need some "him" time. Golfing might be a great way for him to relax. I think you should just let him know that you're there for him whenever he needs you. If it doesn't get better, then maybe he'll need to get some professional help, and that's ok. Congrats on the 9 year marriage!! I hope it continues to grow and lasts forever! :)
Right now, your number one job is to be a supportive wife.
2006-08-01 09:37:19 · answer #2 · answered by littlerandiheather 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I'm really sorry that your husband had to go to Iraq. Seems going to Iraq has caused quit a few marriages to break up, because the guys are coming back as different people. You have to think of all he went through when he was there. All the death he had to see. It's difficult for him, I'm sure. It has nothing to do with you. He is trying to do whatever he can do so he can forget. I hope that he will go and get some help. He needs to learn how to deal with what he saw there. I wish you both the best. I'm sorry this has happened to you. Bless you both.
2006-08-01 11:22:51 · answer #3 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember first where he was and the horrible things he saw and dealt with on a daily basis, things we can only imagine. Top that off with a lot of our soldiers aren't even sure what they were over there for in the first place. It sounds like her might have post tramatic stress syndrome and needs to go talk to a councelor. We went through this with my dad when he came back and of course to him nothing was wrong and finally my mom just told him she loved him and we all needed him but he wasn't the same person. It took awhile but he finally talked to someone and it has helped he was repressing memories of things he didn't ever want to deal with again. Be patient and love him and talk to him without pushing. Good luck.
Sorry about all the typos
2006-08-01 09:38:15 · answer #4 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cograts on your 9 year marriage
anyway try to spice thing up in bed maybe
go to the golf course to spend more time with him
and when the time seems rite have a sit and talk with him
not to get u down but he probably found someone else.
any way keep praying to God or ask for a divorceif it come up
2006-08-01 09:37:51 · answer #5 · answered by Kappy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two friends who just came back from Iraq a couple amonths ago and there behaviers also change with there wifes. One of them is my best friend so when his wife ask to talk to him so when i did we got into a fight and he told me not to worry about so who fought too. When i finally got him to talk to me he preatty much said that with all the things he seen in iraq changed him and that he didnt think he can go back to the way things were before but that he was going to try to make thing wright with his wife. So my best advise that i can give to you is to get his friend to talk to him or see a profesinal.
2006-08-01 09:44:36 · answer #6 · answered by jmg559 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know what branch of the service ur husband was in but thay do have people in the service that can help with these things. try talking to them and see if thay will talk to him,he might have compromised his values in Iraq, which happens a lot with people in the service, u know for the good of the country. and he needs to talk to some one non religious.
2006-08-01 09:51:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to continue to give him the space that he needs. Who knows what types of things he has witnessed while he was gone. He may be suffering from some post traumatic stress, and may need counseling. Try to talk to him about it and maybe even consider some counseling.
2006-08-01 09:37:04 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him. Explain what how you feel. Ask him if he needs space? See if there is something you can do to help. Don't be pushy about it or anything. Remember he probably saw somethings over there that no one would want to see. Feel free to email or IM if you every just need to talk. My IM is lrybio2006 at Yahoo.
Good Luck.
2006-08-01 09:59:11 · answer #9 · answered by lrybio2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean my dad just got back from iraq too.they say the army chanches the soul.just talk to him and pray every thing will work out.I just think it was the fact that seeing people die over there every day.
2006-08-01 09:52:01 · answer #10 · answered by Beautiful g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋