My husband left for an off-district (he's a wildland firefighter) on Friday. His best friend (who happens to be my ex-boyfriend from high school) lives about 3 blocks away. His wife left to go visit her family on Friday. I was at home, minding my own business, sleeping, when my phone rings at 3:30 AM! It was my husband's friend...he's drunk. He's telling me that he just called to hear my voice, that he was just thinking about me...then he tells me he "really wants to see me right now." What do I do??? What did he want?? I told my husband...so now he's fuming mad and afraid he's lost his best friend. I am friends with his wife, but we're not that close...I'm assuming since she hasn't called me - that he hasn't told her what he did. He left my husband a voicemail apologizing...that he just wanted someone to talk to, playing it off like it was nothing. I was mad and really uncomfortable. Am I overreacting? Is this going to be blown out of proportion when my husband gets home?
2006-08-01 09:24:47 · 16 answers · asked by L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I didn't go over. I told him that I was going to tell my husband and to quit calling me.
2006-08-01 09:40:49 · update #1
The girls at work were telling me that I shouldn't have told him...but I don't want a secret like this, and I don't want him to think that it was okay to do that! Plus, I'm not the first girl that he's done something like this to, and I think the truth needs to come out. **I'm kind of scared of his wife, though, she's fiesty and could kick my ***!** :) (Not that I did anything wrong, but I'd hate for her to take her anger out on me).
2006-08-01 10:18:28 · update #2
god came to Adam in the garden of Eden and said to Adam i have some good news and bad news first the good news i gave you a brain to think with and a little thing down there to have fun with
Adam said that's great what is the bad news
god said i only gave you the blood to use one at a time
and when your drunk you dont use either one well
2006-08-01 14:48:23 · answer #1 · answered by mobile auto repair (mr fix it) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes, the old "but I was Drunk" fall back. So your ex-man calls in the middle of the night, both your spouses are gone and he only wants to hear your voice? Saying what exactly? Probably 'do me harder' or something to that effect.
You have every right to be mad and so does your husband. There isnt anything else he copuld have been doing under those circumstances than looking for @ss. I would be pissed if some dude I didnt know called my wife up like that, but if it was a friend, whoi would know the boundaries, somebodys getting an @ss whoopin.
However big it gets blown up to, the proportion will be just right, theres no excuse for that dude.
2006-08-01 16:40:09 · answer #2 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's just me, but I would look alittle deeper into this off-district thing and all of a sudden best friend's wife is gone also, just maybe his friends have found something out that you don't know, the whole situation seems strange to me, what do your most inner feeling tell you, well you certainly don't have those feelings for nothing, do some investigation of your own, as you said don't overreact, keep a sound mind and heart, then you will make the best decision possible whether good or bad, good luck .
2006-08-01 16:49:57 · answer #3 · answered by Douglas B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the way you described it L you didn't do anything wrong assuming that you only talked to him briefly on the phone and didn't have him over. Once your husband gets home, hopefully most of his anger will have passed with time. When he brings it up, make sure it is at a time and place that you are BOTH comfortable! Be honest and tell him exactly what happened.
Don't try to tell him what he should do with his former best friend.
That will be up to the two of them. As long as you did nothing wrong, you can be completely honest and open about things.
He may need to be reminded too that you did tell him about this.
It could have been much worse if you hadn't told him and he found out from his friend!
I wish you luck
2006-08-01 16:45:38 · answer #4 · answered by Ekimo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wanted a booty call...he was looking for a little something..and coming up with some yahoo bs line to feed to your husband. I am sure that your husband will now be more cautious around him...cause my guess is that the friend will try it again. I don't blame you for being mad and really uncomfortable, you are definately not overreacting and would give the friend a piece of my mind. He is a dumbass for even attempting something like that!
2006-08-01 16:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by Hydee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, odds are it will be blown out of proportion. The reason being is that it happened while your husband was away. This means that this guy took that into consideration before calling you, which means he wasn't so drunk he couldn't think properly. The only good news is that they are guys and once they fight a bit it is possible for them to get past it.
2006-08-01 16:30:22 · answer #6 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy wanted a booty call. He wanted to re-ignite the old flame he had with you in high school. Your husband has every right to be angry at his 'best friend'. That guy should respect your husband and not be trying to get with you while your husband's out of town. Your husband shouldn't be angry at you at all though, assuming you didn't let the guy come over of course.
2006-08-01 16:34:00 · answer #7 · answered by PoliPino 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mr. Chivalry says, "Let your husband know that you are telling him upfront. It'll become an issue of trust if you wait. Tell him that you love him and you would never hurt him like that. If it gets to that point, it might be necessary to have a conference. Remember, this is your marriage at stake. You have to do the right thing to keep it right. But it's always up to you to make the decision. Good luck to you."
Mr. Chivalry has spoken.
2006-08-01 16:36:27 · answer #8 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you and your husband have something to be upset about at his best friend and your ex-boy friend (oh the humanity of it). Can't we seperate the two lives (ex boyfriend and current husband)?
I would tell his wife only I would have my husband tell his wife.
2006-08-01 16:32:51 · answer #9 · answered by Fishgutts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with the way you handled it...but you had other options... once you found out what was on his mind you could have let him know that you were not interest and that you were offended by his offer.. then hug up on his dumb A$$.. I think he would have gotten the idea quick... sometimes the more you stir crap the more it stinks..
2006-08-01 16:38:24 · answer #10 · answered by Dirtydog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋