Is My Poem Stupid? Tell Me What You Think!!?

Question

ITS CALLED "JUST BECAUSE MY SKIN IS BLACK."

Just because my skin is black doesn't mean a thing,
I can become president and if I put my heart to it, I can do anything.
I'm not gonna fall into some peoples thought that all blacks are bad,
'Cause really, that lie is worn out and it's getting pretty sad!
A black person can do thigns just like any other man,
All he/she has to do is put their heart into it and believe they can.
Alot of people hink that a persons skin color describes who they are and will remain,
But really, those are the people to blame.
People like that are spineless, stupid, and cruel,
They think their skin color is dominant, but thats not rule.
A Wise Man once said that all man are created equal,
But some people can't accept that, they have to make a sequel.
I'll be somebody one day,
And I don't need someone to tell me that my skin color will get in the way.
No matter if I am Black, White, Mexican or mixed with the all,
I know that someday I'll stand proud and tall!!!

Answer 1

I think your poem is wonderful & very heart felt.Every word in it is sad but true.If every person in the world had the same views this world would be a much better place.I have never agreed with a person more than i do with you & I'm very happy you put it on this web site.Maybe it will open peoples eyes to the anger & hatred in the world.I hate people who think they should be treated better because of their skin tone & if you dont they call you a racist!My faverite line is "A wise man once said all men are created equal,
But some people can't accept that,they have to make a sequel" You have an amazing talent & I hope to see more of your poems.Just be carefull no one steals it on you.

Answer 2

Wow I totally understand. People think that just because I have fair skin I'm White, but they don't know me or that I am a Hispanic. I love your poem and I think everyone who is a racist should read it. Why are people such racists? I have friends of all different colors and we get along fine. Racism is over why do some people really like to live in the past? You are a wonderful poet just like myself. They have no idea that you are a good poet or any other good qualities you have. If you feel this way you should keep on writing more! You can make a difference in this world!

Answer 3

I like it, and I am ususally pretty hard on poems. I like it because your'e not trying to be poetic, you say what you want to say without any unnecesary floweriness and you say it well. The only thing I would say is that you could work on it more to make it scan better, take a word out here, add a word there so that it flows more rhythmically. Otherwise a great job. I hope you do make it to president some day - if not then put your mind to something good, I'll look forward to reading about you!

Answer 4

Not stupid just unnecessary, a big part of the problem with racism is that people keep teaching it and dragging it out into the light. Babies are not born to be racist they are made that way by the teachings of others. The KKK, Black Panthers, Jewish Defense League are all responsible for this. So are things like Black History month, all it does is teach deference's and as a result breeds hatred. prejudice, and intolerance.

Answer 5

I think your poem is very very good. I do believe that you will be "somebody" one day. I believe in you not because of the color of your skin but because your words are well thought out, you seem to be well spoken. Believe in yourself, have pride in how you act, dress, speak and you may find yourself very surprised with the respect that will surely follow.

Answer 6

he's making use of you. Affection has no longer something to do with it. He is conscious you're obtainable, and he does not would desire to artwork to electrify you or purchase you dinner and beverages to get some. he's lazy. he's making use of you through fact he does not would desire to objective very hard, organic and easy. he will shop making use of you till you tell him to quit. Now, in case you opt to apply him precise decrease back, i assume that's ok, yet comprehend that issues are not mutual to any extent further, and you gets harm.

Answer 7

Good idea, well expressed, but its strength is more as an essay than as a poem. Although a poem can be free form, it should have metre (rhythm) to it, making it memorable (and even "memorizable"). One way of doing this is to keep a notebood of catchy phrases you hear around, and choose one or more to work into your poem where they fit.

Answer 8

I think that is a good poem. It rings with much truth, and it pours forth with your emotion. There are a few pieces of grammar I might fix, and a few lines I might suggest developing a little more but all-in-all, I like it.

Answer 9

I think you did a good job.
Can I give you a suggestion?
I know that someday I'll stand proud and tall!!! could be replaced by;
I know that everyday I stand proud and tall!!

Answer 10

Quite good,but does need some work to get it right. Its very moving,but I think you need to shorten some of the lines. All what you have said in your poem is very true. Well done you!!