How do you emotionally deal with a miscarriage?

Answer 1

having had one a couple of weeks ago you need a strong family and friends network around you. it doesn't just go away but knowing that people are there does make it slightly easier.
people have told me that it get easier in time and i'm just clinging to that.
i'm hoping that if i say "everything happens for a reason, it wasn't meant to be" enough times i may start to believe it x

Answer 2

You dont' say how far along you were with the miscarriage.

A miscarriage is a death of a baby. It will be just as hard to deal with as if it was full term or if a older family member died.

You have to go through the whole grieving process. Share your feelings with family and friends. Talk about it, and most importantly, cry about it. You have that right.

Did the hospital give you any pictures (was the baby big enough to take pix and footprints?)? some will do that and you can request them. The hospital should be able to tell you where the baby will be burried (they don't get burried right away because they burry all the premies together every now and then)...but you will have a place to visit if you wish.

It's going to take time to get over it. It usually hurts so bad in the beginning and the more you talk and cry, it will start to get better. Some people find it helpful to get involved in a group (usually the hospital can direct you to a group for support), others find it more depressing than anything. That is something you need to try and see for yourself.

Just like with any death, there is no "reason" for it. it just happened. A lot of people won't know what to say to you and others will say things that they feel will make you feel better, but you'll wonder why they even said anything at all (like, "well, at least it wasn't full term", "you can always have another one", etc.)

No baby will "replace" the one you lost. That particular life is gone. Even though the baby died, you are now a mom and always will be. Give youreself time. Cry, cry, and cry some more. Make sure to talk and share all your feelings. Let family and friends know it's ok to talk to you about it and it's ok if you cry...they didn't make you, it just happens and it's good for you. Cry together.

Let me express my sympathies to you. I've never actually had a miscarriage, but I came extremely close to it. It's hell. Prayer helped me, maybe it will help you.

I'll say a prayer for you, your baby and family.
Blessings and hang in there.

Answer 3

Debbie O is quite wrong. This is a great place to ask this question. There are actually a lot of women on Yahoo answers who have been through a miscarriage and who give great advice.
I had a miscarriage two months ago and it was the saddest and hardest time of my life. It will take you a while to get over the extreme grief and guiltiness you might be feeling. Let me just start out by saying that it was nothing you did or could have done to change the outcome. Unfortunately, this is what our bodies do when the baby can not survive outside of the womb. You need to grieve as long as you feel you should. Don't let anyone say "I thought you were getting better(emotionally)" or "you need to snap out of it". Most of the people you will encounter will have no idea how to respond and act towards you. A lot of the time they will say the wrong thing not meaning to and you will take it very hard. The father will seem distant to you because he will more than likely not share the amount of grief that you have. Not that he doesn't care, I'm sure he does, its just a lot different for the mother so don't be to hard on him. The best advice there is I can give you is to call a friend to talk about it and tell them not to say anything. Just tell them you need an ear and most will oblige. My best friend did this for me very often and with out it I was sure to go mad. I also started answering questions like yours to help with my grieving process. It has help me tremendously to know that all of the things I was feeling was not crazy after all. I suggest you try the same, you will find it very healing to give advice to people who are going through the same thing. Name your baby because it is hard to grieve for a child with no name. Plant a tree, name a star or make a donation in memory of your child. Over time your pain will lessen but it will never go away. You will always have a special place in your heart for your child that went to heaven. Just know that our babies are watching over us and each other until the day we join them.
You will have different stages to your grieving first will be extreme sadness, then you will get really mad and then there will be acceptance. You are in for a bumpy road but it will get better, I promise. I am very sorry for your loss and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless and best wishes in the future.
I have attached some websites that will help you.

Answer 4

As you can tell, you are not alone in this. I've had 2 miscarriages in a 12 month period. After the first I thought the world was going to end. After the second, I knew the world was not going to end but I was sad.

Each person deals with miscarriage in her own way, so don't feel like you need to heal on any terms but your own. And don't feel bad or guilty about educating your family about how you feel, or how they should be reacting to you.

I found that writing about my feelings has helped. And I write every mean, sad, angry, happy, whatever feeling I have about the situation. I also find that talking to others has helped. And for a while, I had to, and still do sometimes, just have to excuse myself from situations where I know there will be lots of kids or people talking about pregnancy. Which has meant I've dropped of the radar with some of my girlfriends.

Ive also read lots of books on the subject three that I would recommend are:

"Gone to Soon: the life and loss of infants and unborn children" by Sherri Wittwer. "Coming to Term" I can't remember the author's name, and Marie Osmond's book about Post Partum Depression.

I hope you feel better soon, and know you are not alone.

Answer 5

with tears, talking, and time. there are many support groups. it doesn't get better, it just gets easier.

I have had two miscarriages in the past year as of this month. it still hurts. even though i am pregnant again now, i still wonder if there was anything i could have done to change that. i still feel aprehensive everyday i wake up looking for pregnancy signs. Despite the fact that you never got to meet that person, you still suffer the death of a loved one. There is no comfort in "god just weeds out the bad ones" or " nature is just taking it's course" comments. I know people mean well, but it doesn't help.

If someone you know went through a miscarriage, let them talk at their own pace. Everybody deals with grief differently.

If you went through a miscarriage, look for a support group for people who have gone through a similar situation. it helps so much to talk to others who understand.

Best wishes.

Answer 6

It is just a thing that takes time I had a miscarriage at 22 weeks but I got pregant again after 3 months and never looked back However others may feel worse and react differently to me If you really wanted a baby then try again as when you are preganant again that helps Many women have miscarriages and its very sad and upsetting but there isnt really any specific thing you can do to recover Talking to friends about it may help Maybe it helps to talk about it here with strangers too You have to find whats best for you

Answer 7

I miscarried twice in a seven-month period. I was at an all-time emotional low. I read a book called "All Seasons Pass: Grieving a Miscarriage." It was AWESOME and it made me feel at least a little bit better.

I went on to have two babies after my two miscarriages. Although I still feel sad from time to time about my losses, I know that there wasn't anything I could have done differently. I believe that two little souls are awaiting me in heaven.

The important thing to realize is that you ARE ALLOWED to grieve this loss. I hated when people told me that it was better to have a miscarriage than to have an unhealthy baby. I hated when people acted like the baby wasn't a real person. I hated when people tried to tell me that things like this happen for a reason. The only thing that people could say to me that would be of any comfort was, "I'm sorry for your loss."

Talk to others who have experienced miscarriage. Hopefully you will find comfort in their stories.

Answer 8

I'm going through this at the moment. I had a miscarriage 4 weeks ago and i'm still finding it hard to deal with. It helps talking about it, but what also helped me was doing things that i enjoyed such as sitting by the beach, going for walks, basically just stuff to take my mind off it. I don't know if I'll ever get over it, would have been my first child - just take each day as it comes x

Answer 9

there is no set way to deal with a miscarriage you just have to take each day as it comes you never forget the one you lost i know i have had several and i remember each one and what they would be like the best advice is if you want to cry do so don't let anybody ever tell you different and all i can say it does get easier in time

Answer 10

Try not to be alone. Most of the time people avoid you when something like this happen because if they haven't experience it, they do not know what to say or how to react. I read books about miscarriage, knowing that there was nothing I could have done different to avoid it, helped me a lot. Good Luck.

Answer 11

As said before, that is very personal. There are websites and places in the physical world where you can share your feelings. My wife found some. It is important to remember that your spouse will be going through this individually also. He may not react as you do though he will react to the pain. It may help to keep a journal of your thoughts and feelings. Write about your little one. It has been suggested that a person might plant a tree in honor of the baby. Someone else said to make a donation to a charity in honor of your baby. Remember that this is very personal. It is something that only you truly know how to share with others.