BIPOLAR Disorder?

Question

my husband has Bipolar and Add. I am having a hard time with him latley. He tells me all of our fights are my fault and if I would not be the way I am he would not blow off the handle? (example. yesterday I asked him to show me where the switch was on the ceiling fan and he got mad at me telling me that the blades are wear they should be and that I am an idiot. Because he knows what he is doing) I told him not to yell at me like that in front of my child ever again and he said it was all my fault that he acted that way. Is there something I am doing wrong. Or is this typical bipolar disorder stuff. We are seeing a marriage counsler and she told him if he thinks he needs it he should see his counsler again. Well he does not think he needs it and told me I was the problem not him. How can I save my marriage and keep him going to see his counsler. I do love him a lot. i just dont love the way he has been acting please help me understand!

He is on meds. He was seeking help and it was great then he stopped because the counsler said if he needs him call. Well he does not think he needs it because he knows how to deal with his disorder. But I really dont think he does!

Answer 1

My husband is bipolar and he takes depicoat,prozac and welbutrin.What meds is he on and how long has he been diagnosed?If he is on meds on many did they try before setteling with the ones hes on?My husband has a few mood swings here and there but i can always tell by the look on his face when hes in that mood and i just leave him alone.He also cycles 2x a year april and october this is a natural thing for bi polar.He also goes to counsiling 1x a month and your husband needs to go.Do you have any family of his around that can talk to him about it.Dont let this become your fault do not take the blame for his sickness.you need to buy some books and read up on it.It will help you understand better what he is going through.I do not baby my husband i tell him like it is.He can not use his bi-polar as an excuse for anything he does or says.Being mean to you is not exceptable and make it very clear to him what you expect.good luck i will find out from my husband when he gets home what books you should read.

Answer 2

Yes, that is very typical behavior, it doesn't make it right that because he has a disorder that he feels he can yell and scream at you no matter what, but on the other hand it is difficult to deal with emotions when you are that way.

My brother in law has been engaged to a girl for a while now, and she has bipolar disorder and has lashed out so much that the relationship has recently ended, due to the fact that her outbursts were so frequent and became out of control when she started putting her hands on him. However, I must add that this girl does not take the medication necessary to control these mood swings...it is very difficult to deal with, you must be strong and accept the fact that it will always be that way, although it is unfair to you and your children.

Answer 3

Number one... There is a HUGE change among any person who's bipolar and is being dealt with/ medicated and any person who isn't . If she is having such dangerous temper swings she must pass see a Psychiatrist and both modify her drugs or begin a few. IF she is inclined to get right maintain the bipolar sickness and you're keen on her .... Then stick by means of her part! People with this sickness who're thoroughly medicated most of the time reside ordinary healthful lives. You could additionally keep in mind couples treatment. Good good fortune!

Answer 4

I've known a few people that tried being with people like this, eventually it just worse them down and they had to bail. If this is truly his problem and not just his excuse to treat people badly its a lifetime thing and will probably just get worse as the years go by. Be really careful what you are doing to your child, love him or not if its not a good environment for your child its your job to get the child out of there. Imagine the damage someone like this can do to a kid for the rest of his life, its just not right. Actually Dr Phil as about bipolar people today, it probably could have given you a ton of great information, they did all kinds of testing to find out exactly what was caused by the condition and what was just being an a$$. If you can watch it.

You need to just take a stand, you need to say look you have this disorder however, that doesn't mean I'm going to take crap from you and let you get away with using that as an exucse, this condition will be with you forever, I won't be unless you treat it the way it needs to be treated and stay on top of taking care of it and keeping it in check. I'm sorry for you really but I am a mother and WILL do whatever it takes to raise my child in a good environment, if that means eliminating you because you refuse to help yourself then so be it. Good luck to you! He will keep refusing treatment and just lashing out at you as long as you are going to keep taking it, your child will see that and mimic it and start treating you and others the same way. Remember they are learning what love and relationships look like from you, if this is what they see this is what they will grow up to be. Really think about that. Like I said this is a forever condition so you need to come to an agreement over it right now and not tolerate any violation of that agreement on his part.

Answer 5

Counseling is one thing - and YOU should certainly stay in counseling even if he will not. (And even if he does, you should get it separately for yourself.) However, the real question that comes to mind is whether he is seeing a psychiatrist for meds to work on the bipolar disorder. If he is not, then you are fighting a losing battle. If he is, then the meds are not working well. (He should also be seeing a psychologist for counseling on his disorder as well - different from marriage counseling.) He is abusive and controlling and dismissive and that is not necessarily the result of his bipolar disorder. And under any circumstances, you should not have to endure such treatment.

If he is on meds, then you need to talk to his shrink and tell him/her what is going on. The doc doesn't need to talk to you about your husband (doctor-patient confidentiality) but you can tell him what is going on and he can use that to treat your husband. If he is not on meds, then you need to take the children and leave until he gets ON meds and is stabilized.

Save yourself and your child first - hubby second.

Answer 6

Is he taking any meds..........this is all part of bipolar and a good indication that meds are needed. Tell him either he goes to the councelor and gets help or you are taking the child and leaving as you will not be disrespected in front of your child. Bipolar is a hard disorder to deal with as it has many effects on people sometimes they are happy then a second later can be mad at the world. He needs help and part of loving him is going to be doing whatever it takes to get him the help tyhat he needs. Good luck.

Answer 7

Wow bipolar and ADD? What a combination! It is tough to be around someone with bipolar disorder and ADD! Is he on any type of medication? Does he have sessions with a psychiatrist or psychologist?? If he is not doing these things they can help a GREAT DEAL! It is a good move on your part to go to counseling with him but HE needs to take care of himself i.e. get help for his problems. It will not matter what you say or do his behavior will not change. I can see you are willing to make an effort to work on things but the truth is.....when it comes to mental illness nothing will improve unless the person with the illness takes steps to improve themselves. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

Answer 8

I have the problem in reverse. I feel my wife is bipolar. Yes, I'm a forgetful guy but this should not drive a woman thru the ceiling and chew me out for 2 to 3 hours. If I wasn't married for 32 years, I would be out of there. My sympathies are with you.

Answer 9

He needs to be on meds, that's the only way he'll be able to control his disorder. And no, it's not your fault--he's got a disorder honey, and you have to always just not take his anger flares and mood swings so seriously. I think that you should always sit down with him after the anger has subsided to make him aware that he has hurt your feelings. Going to counseling is great, but you have to continuously go to the therapist!!! The disorder will NEVER go away, but you can help encourage him to keep it under control.

Answer 10

There are medications out there to help control the outbreaks. He probably doesn't think there's a thing wrong with him but you might contact your family doctor to see if there's something he can do for your husband. Counselling won't work if it's a medical problem. It's a shame they don't have medication for a control freak, maybe I'd still be married to my first husband!