why do in-laws like to insult? I had a mother-in-law and all she would do was make rude comments to me?

Question

Everytime I would visit she would feel the need to make negative comments about my hair or insult my opinions or she does not like my way of thinking. She acts like she can do no wrong, and it makes me so mad. I do not insult her, and try to hold my tongue. This last time I had it with her insults so I left.

Answer 1

She will continue to do this until you stand up for yourself. she is trying to make you feel uncomfortable around her in hopes that she can ruin your relationship with her son. I would suggest talking to your husband and asking him to stand up for you in front of his mother. And that if he doesnt do it then YOU will and he wont like what you have to say. I assume you have been holding back simply because you love your husband. DONT HOLD BACK ANYMORE!

Answer 2

You might start by asking your spouse if they are back biting you to your in-laws. Perhaps they are getting a negative opinion of you from your spouse.

Next, let your spouse know that his relatives are hurting you, and ask they he/she do something about it.

Next, don't fall for their insults. They only get to you if you let them. Don't get upset. Don't get agitated. Just laugh it off.
They may stop if you quit showing them that they are getting to you.

If it continues, simply learn to ask this question, "Why would you say something like that to me?" Make them validate their actions. Simply keep asking 'WHY?' to all their smart a$$ remarks.

And finally, while I don't advocate negativity as a solution, the time may come for some well placed, high impact return insults. But only if you are good at them. You have to be able to deliver them with superb timing and with a grin on your face.

"Why, it's amazing that turned out as good as he/she did, considering the example he/she had growing up. I wonder who turned out to be a positive role model for him/her"

"I hear that when people insult other people, what they are really saying is that they lack any foundation for happiness in their own life, and can only want to destroy others to make themselves feel better. I'm so sorry for you. You must feel quite insignificant."

"Yes, you are opinionated. . Here's 50 cents. With it and your opinion, you might be able to buy a cup of coffee. Good idea, save it toward a personality." .

Best one yet, is at each insult, simply shake your head and with a look like you are speaking to a child who has just scraped their knee, "Ahhh, I feel sooo sorry for you dear."

Answer 3

It is time to tell your hubby that you have had enough from his Momma. He needs to establish the boundaries with her and if she pushes then you all don't go around her anymore. Your husband HAS to back you on this. He doesn't have a choice. His mother is completely out of line and he should not allow her to treat his wife in this manner.

Good luck!