What activities will motivate my 12 year old son?

Question

I have tried to involve my son in extra curricular activities, but when we go he always gets scared. He says he doesn't like it when there are a lot of other people/kids there. Usually the classes have around 10 kids. I homeschool my son and want him to be more socialable, but really freaks out when I try to bring him to activities with lots of other people. I believe he has a low self esteem and insecurity due to a lot of changes in our lives. He has had to deal with a new step dad and a huge move to another state. I realize it has been hard on him and I do try to talk with him. He always says he is fine, but he doesn't much like to leave our home. I love my son and want him to be happy and get the most out of life. What should I do?

I wanted to claridy that my son is homeschool because he has a severe focus deficiency. He struggled a lot at school and each year he became more and more angry. I began homeschooling in hopes of giving him a good chance to succeed.

Answer 1

Most areas have groups of homeschoolers who will get together for activities, field trips and the like. Check the yellow pages, there might be a listing, otherwise post on some homeschooling message boards and someone from your area can email you some info. I would pick something that you think he would like...ANYTHING..and sign him up. Tell him he has to give it a shot at least and finish the course. Your local parks and rec department should have lots of different sports and activities that he can try.

And while I'm not going to be like everyone else here and blast you for homeschooling him, I am going to point out that a benefit of public (or private) school is learning to adjust to other people and work with them, even though they are different than you and you may not even like them. I know many people who homeschool that get around this, but their kids are SUPER active in other activites, so they get that socialization and learning to adapt to other people through those activities. I would say that if you can't get him involved in something you, you might want to seriously reconsider homeschooling, since that's just allowing him to avoid other people.

BTW, my son is 12 also, and has autism, so he doesn't like many activities that involve alot of people as well. He's in band, and learning to play the piano, and he also plays golf. He attends public school, I wouldn't keep him home, because he wouldn't get out and be around other people. I don't want him to just sit at home, because he's going to have to learn to deal with people eventually, he might as well do it when he's younger. We're hoping he will be able to live independently when he's an adult, and that's what we're aiming for. Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

It sounds like a self esteem problem. He needs to make a good friend or two and then get involved in sports or things they do.

I know home schooling is good, but right now, especially with the new marriage and change of where he lives, it's going to be hard for him to meet new friends. Mabye you should think about enrolling him in a regular school. It will get him out of the house and involved with other kids. He might make some new friends and then start to do other things.

Don't let him stay in the house playing on the computer or video games.

Boys this age will continue to say they're fine when they aren't. He probably wants you to be happy and he'll not admit that he's not.

Are there any other kids in your neighborhood that are around his age that you could have over or take them someplace to have fun (bowling, movies, mini-golf, etc.)? How about at church? Are there any youth groups he could get involved in?

Good luck!

Answer 3

If I can experience that you do not like him (you may also love him, however you do not like him) - then he's sensing it too. Give him extra optimistic awareness. Buy motorcycles for every body and get him relocating as a household journey. Emphasize the approaches that he's potent. Angst prompted the doorstep-sons talented brother to quit - do not positioned this child at the identical course. He is round plenty of negativity - he demands anything to counter that, or why might it make experience to take the time to be your nice self. All of you want a holiday from the negativity. Truly LIKE the child and desire what's nice for him - then take it from there. Edit***If the boy's father is yelling at you in entrance of the boy, then the daddy has taken away all your authority. That is a courting crisis. He sees you as vulnerable and for this reason can not consider nontoxic or believe you. You is probably not ready to support him a lot, now not given that of the twelve 12 months ancient, however given that of the way in which you and your husband engage in entrance of him.

Answer 4

o my god ..i was homeschooled once..and i hated it..send your kid to regular school..thats why he is so shy, he doesnt feel like a normal kid..he feels like a freak..hes afraid people will make fun of him because he is homeschooled..please send him to regular school..he will be SOOOOOOOOO gratful for it when he goes to college..that way he wont be made fun of so terrible

Answer 5

if you send him to a public school he wont afraid to socilize ur cooping him up at ur house no wonder he doesnt want to soclize once he goes to school A REAL ONE U FOOL he will prbably want to talk to people

Answer 6

football, or something. whatever he like, get others involeved with it.

Answer 7

teach him how to **** there is only one other person in that

Answer 8

no more x-box till you mingle, buddy !

Answer 9

idk