I have a son 19 who is a college student and he is currently working and saving his money for school in the fall. I also have a stepson who is also currently working but he is a high school drop out and he has no intention of going back to school. I know it wouldn't be fair to ask one for money to help out and not ask the other. They both eat a lot and they both are usinga lot of water and our light bill is over $300.00 this month. I am married to my stepson's father and we have decided to ask them to at least pay the water bill and help with the groceries. Is this fair? What should we do?
2006-08-01 08:29:50 · 33 answers · asked by browneyedcutie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The college student seems to be on the right track. Working and going to school at the same time is hard. Let him keep doing what he is doing.
The drop out needs a dose of hard reality. Have him pay 50% of his income to you. Use 25% to help with bills, and save the other 25% so that when he moves, he'll have a start up fund.
2006-08-01 08:37:12 · answer #1 · answered by mykidsRmylife 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitly not wrong to ask them to either help out or move especially the high school drop out that is enjoying a free ride with no responsibility. I would ask them each to contribute $50 a week toward the groceries and another $50 for all of the other bills that are higher from them being there. As for your son if he is working and going to college which he is paying for on his own, you could set a portion of the money back and if he needs it for school expenses give it to him on the basis that it isn't for everyone to know. This way the kid that needs help is getting it when he needs it and the other one can't come back and say you aren't making him pay as much. As long as a child is in school then it is the parents job to help that child to get their education but if they refuse to go to school then they need to at least have some responsibility
2006-08-01 08:43:16 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, its not fair. The 19 yr old is in college and the other one I assume is also young. I think they are both too young to have to pay your water bill or the groceries. Of course they eat a lot, they are boys that you guys decided to have. When the one that doesn't want to go to school becomes 18 either make him pay some rent that is reasonable or tell him he must move out or go back to school.
2006-08-01 08:36:46 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes it would be fair to ask one to pay and not the other. One is still continuing his education and is saving his money for that specific purpose. The other dropped out of school and so this is just the adult world for him and its about time he figured out that he has to start contributing, he should have been made to start contributing and paying his way the very DAY he dropped out of school, there are no free rides and life is tough for a high school drop out, he needs to figure that out right quick and you sheltering him from reality is just delaying the time it will take for him to figure out that he screwed up, the younger he is when he figures it out the more likely he is to go back and get his butt in school. I think that is absolutely fair! One has chosen to be smart and hasn't officially announced and chosen to be on his own yet, he is investing in his own future and if that doesn't deserve to be supported and rewarded what does? If you put too much of a toll on him he won't be able to afford school and will be forced to choose the more difficult path in life and thats not what any parent wants to be.
2006-08-01 08:36:51 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, ask them both to help out. You might also want to ask how much would they be willing to contribute, so that neither of them feels like you're "charging" them all of a sudden. Negotiate something that seems fair. They are adults, and should be able to talk about money and work out a deal.
I'm in school, so as my brother. Our mom asks us sometimes. I feel she should have been asking for more. But she wouldn't even take whatever I try to give.
2006-08-01 08:38:44 · answer #5 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would it be unfair to ask the one without major expenses of his own to contribute? Just tell him he has to contribute more because an apartment is still a lot more expensive than chipping in at home, and if he was still in school, he wouldn't be expected to contribute so much.
If your 19 year old has enough money to pay for his schooling -and- have some change (which I highly doubt) then he should be chipping in.. but not as much as someone who has no other expenses.
2006-08-01 08:35:35 · answer #6 · answered by Kiari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, and possibly rent as well. Life isn't that hard - if they're both working they can afford it. Your son can write for scholarships as well.
Also, if your stepson (is he over 18? I'll assume he is) isn't working towards moving out, start charging rent (but still act as a parent). He'll want to live on his own soon enough :)
2006-08-01 08:37:58 · answer #7 · answered by Veronica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't ask my son to help out until he finished college. However, while in college (he worked part time) he had to pay his own auto insurance, gas, dating, clothes, etc. Once he graduated college he paid $200 a month to cover at least part of the food he ate. There is nothing wrong with young adults helping out.
2006-08-01 08:40:02 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me put this into perspective for you.
My son turned 18 July 31, 2006 (Yesterday)
Today is August 1, 2006.
I received a check for rent for the month of August today.
Any questions?
:)
2006-08-01 08:39:55 · answer #9 · answered by GVD 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is fair because they are of age to be paying bills. They will have to eventually and you can't have the responsibility to tak e care of all the bills now. You shouldn't be left to buy food that ur not eating and paying for water that ur not using.
2006-08-01 08:37:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋