Upon drinking starts wanting to fight and gets real flirtatious with other women and even came home one night with sucker bites on neck
2006-08-01 07:25:43 · 19 answers · asked by honeysuckle r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It depends. Are you talking about your husband or your wife?
If it's your husband, you should tell him once more and it's over and make sure he knows you are serious. If and when it happens again either have the locks changed (kick him out); or move out yourself. If you don't take a stand he will never take you seriously and won't respect you. You can try to work things out in time but he needs to understand the risk of losing you is real. If he doesn't care enough to change, you should move on. It might seem difficult at first but you will truly be happier in the end.
If it's your wife. Jeez i don't know. Seems like a bigger issue. Perhaps Dr Phil would take it...
2006-08-01 07:35:08 · answer #1 · answered by travelerNY 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you dating my ex?
Seriously, pretty much every answer here says the same thing. Get out now, before it's too late. Don't wait for him to throw furniture at you, give you a black eye or put you in the hospital. It's not worth it no matter how wonderful he is sober. It is going to end at some point, one way or another, and it won't be pretty. Best to move on to better things now. You can NOT change him, so don't even try. You will only start fights. Even if he says he'll stop every time he's sober. That's the guilt talking. Actions speak louder than words. If you stick around, you are telling him that his behavior is ok with you, even if you say otherwise. It's called being an enabler.
AA is not always the answer. My ex tried AA, and went through in-patient rehab 5 times! We even had to have him taken to the hospital and strapped down in handcuffs face-down in a hospital bed. His blood-alcohol level was 3.75... He's lucky he lived through it. There was broken glass (looked like from a car mirror) all over the inside of his truck. He couldn't remember driving home, let alone whether he hit something or someone. Even THAT didn't scare him enough to make him stop. He would go out drinking AFTER his AA meetings. I'm not saying AA is not helpful for anyone, just that it's not always helpful for everyone.
If you have kids, now or in the future, you are teaching them that this behavior is ok. They may grow up to be the same way. I've seen it happen. My ex grew up with an alcoholic father. 6 out of 8 of the kids ended up becoming alcoholics and/or drug abusers at an early age and remained that way through adulthood. Most of them tried hard to quit, but rarely stuck with it.
If he says he is going to change if you stay, tell him he has to change for himself, not for you. If he tries to change for you, it won't stick, and he will end up resenting you.
2006-08-01 07:53:40 · answer #2 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i've been through a few of these fellas and nothing you say to him is going to change his behavior. Even though he's great some of the time, and even if he's never laid a hand on you, he's still doing things that hurt you. You can't take care of him, you can't change him. he'll keep doing these things and you should get out. You'll go through the sad and heartbroken stage, but you'll get past that and eventually you'll be ready to move on to someone new with a clear head of what you're looking for.
2006-08-01 07:41:33 · answer #3 · answered by Puppy_Gold 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him he needs to start going to AA, alcoholism is a disease and it he keeps up with the meetings and a sponsor he can learn to deal with the illness day by day but it would be best to either leave him or take a short break from the relationship atleast until you know that he actually wants some help and is willing to take it, if he doesn't think he has a problem and wont attend then leave you will be much better off.....
2006-08-01 07:44:06 · answer #4 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm no longer sober yet i does not crumble any Breathalysers only yet. If I were on beer my finger to computing device key co-ordination would be appalling. somewhat, a healthful liquid nutrition regimen of vodka and Malibu has stored my type eligible and my journeys to the little boy's room much less generic. Merry Christmas to you too.
2016-12-10 19:30:42 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimatum time. Tell him to seek help for the drinking problem, or you're gone. Don't keep waiting for him to change. And if he lays a hand on you when drunk and violent, get the h-e-double-hockey-sticks outta there and don't look back.
2006-08-01 07:29:39 · answer #6 · answered by LisaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would need to get proffesional help.
And so would the significant other.
you would also need to imagine what the rest of your life would be like living with this person.
If you have children, what fears do they have?
If you plan on having children, what will they see? Will they be beaten, slapped? Or see you verbally, phyically abused?
2006-08-01 07:33:14 · answer #7 · answered by gideon9595 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I hate to say this but in the long run you would be better off to turn your back on this relationship and learn how to drop such emotional ties before they ruin your life---Why put yourself through unnecessarily emotional pain!!!
2006-08-01 07:34:17 · answer #8 · answered by wancarol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask Mrs. Mel Gibson!
2006-08-01 07:28:23 · answer #9 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I divorced mine 14 years ago after after I woke up with sword to my neck and now he's someone else's problem.
2006-08-01 07:31:41 · answer #10 · answered by Angie P. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋