Am I being too hard on my husband considering how he has been in the past?

Question

I met my husband of 2 years here on yahoo. We hit it off married and now have a 6 mos old baby boy. I love him dearly but the things he has done in the past has caused some mistrust. After we moved in together he continued to talk to people from yahoo. I had no problem with that until I caught him talking to a female and watching her cam telling her she had a nice a*s. I was furious but we worked through it. I told him I would appreciate if he only chat when I am there. I thought everything was going good. happily married and pregnant But early into my pregnancy I started having problems. I was put on bedrest due to severe preeclampsia. Which couldn't be controlled so I was hospitalized. I knew something was up. When I came home I seen he emailed someone asking for sex while I was in the hospital. I was crushed. But now I have trust issues. He's mad that I don't trust him. Should I give him a break am I making it worse. He has been good for 6 months. Should I let up and trust him?

Answer 1

Trust is earned. Has he earned your trust. How is it that you feel responsible for his actions? ("am I making it worse.") He's asking for sex from someone on the internet and you wonder if you are making it worse?
I'm sorry. The only person whose actions you can control are your own. If it were me, I'd make it very clear that asking for sex on the internet is a deal-breaker.

Answer 2

ur tripping.. 1st of all u didn't do anything wrong.. that's reverse psychology, he's now trying to make it seem like ur ruining ur relationship because u don't trust him.. he gave u the reasons not to trust him and if i were u i wouldn't.. how do u know he's been good for 6 mos?? just cause u don't see what he's doing that don't mean that he's not doing anything.. how do u know if he didn't have sex w/the person or anyother gal??

He needs to take repsponsibility for his actions and give u the space and RESPECT u need!! Ur pregnant carrying his child and he's off on the internet looking for sex, he could've brought u and ur baby back an STD...

let him be mad, tell him ur pissed.. if u decide to work it out w/him let him know u ain't tolerating his mess no more and that u will not keep giving him chances.. let him know he needs to be tending to ur everyneed right now because what he did was wrong and he needs to be the man that he's not and grow and up and apologize continuosly to until ur ready to let it go..

good luck w/ur baby

Answer 3

dont' trust him and cheating is cheating no matter if its in person and physical or over the net....he's being dishonest and counting on your trust to get away with things. if he is asking someone for sex during your difficult pregnancy what makes you think he isn't getting it or asking for it now ? how cold and callus can a human being be that if you can't provide sex to him when and where he wants it he will turn to someone else, why the heck did he marry you then if he can't be faithful. he's a jerk and you're better off without him he doesn't deserve any breaks and too do you really think he would give you the same breaks, do you think he would be understanding if you asked someone else for sex if he was sick and couldn't give it to you? and to top it all off what a piss poor example of a man to his children.....you're too good for him.

Answer 4

Trust is earned - it takes a lot to rebuild trust - 6 months is not that long and you know the old saying once a cheater always a cheater. I would maybe ease up a little (give him just enough rope) and see what happens.

Answer 5

IMO, the only thing you can trust for sure is that he WILL do it again. Now, you can make peace with this, close your eyes, and let him have his little fun every once in a while. But don't work yourself up by checking his e-mails, etc. That would only make things worse.

If you're NOT ok with this, you better leave now, and look elsewhere. He WILL do it again, guaranteed. If you don't make peace with it or leave, you will only get hurt over and over.

Answer 6

COME ON! He was trying to get laid while you were in the hospital, pregnant with HIS child. What kind of man could he be. Not only should you be pissed off, but his lucky you haven't filed for a divorce. Then lets see how much fun he'll have paying child and wife support. What a F**KING Jerk!!

Answer 7

Come on ... everybody sing!


Sometimes its hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understand
But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a man
Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man
Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

Answer 8

Try this. If your livelyhood does not concern the internet, talk to your hubby, get rid of the internet and live your life with him. The best thing to do when something is hurting your marriage is to take that away. He has to make a decision, his family (you and your baby) or that blasted freak box.

Answer 9

If this marriage isn't making you happy, why be in it? Life is too short to share your life with someone who is causing you pain. I think you should try marriage counseling, if he agrees he has a problem. If not, then I think separation is a better idea. I wish you and your family the best of luck. God Bless.

Answer 10

Geez--what reason has he given you to trust him? Asking someone on the internet for sex while your wife is in the hospital? I don't think he has any right to be mad. It doesn't work to just say "oops--my bad" and expect all to be forgiven and forgotten. My mother's motto is "forgive and remember."