Betrayal is hard to deal with. I forgave him last year for his affairs and he promised it was just me and him. He dfrifted back into meeting women on the internet for sex. He says he loves me, but how can this be so?
2006-08-01 07:03:51 · 29 answers · asked by Lorraine R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh Hun I feel for you. I have been in the exact same position as you in the past, and believe me I know how you feel. He told me time and time again, he was sorry, convinced me he would be loyal to me, and that it was me he loved more than anything, I believed him because I wanted to so desperately, I loved him, he was my world, but please listen to me, it never stops, I truly think the more I forgave him the more he did it as he knew I would always forgive. It took me a while to get out, but in the end I realised if he really loved me, he wouldn't do this to me. Please please save yourself the heartache I went through and get out now, you deserve better. I wish you all the best XX
2006-08-01 07:25:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 11⤊ 2⤋
Im sorry to say that your husband neither loves you or respects you.
Even him cheating on you the first time was proof that he doesnt love or respect you the same. It is hard to forgive something like that happening but even when people do and try and reconcile it rarely works out. Taking him back and forgiving him was like you giving him a licence to do the same cos you were so desperate to hang on to him...who the hell wants to stay in love with a cheater who lies and betrays your love, companiponship and marriage vows when the bottom line is he no longer feels the same about you.
oh he could well pretend that he's willing to make ammends and try at working on your marriage, but lets face it ,hes probably more afraid of being alone and having to do all his own cooking , cleaning, laundry etc alone.and a lot of guys cant handle that so they stay with their wifes and use them for a doormat and pretend all is well....of course until the next time. Yes it tends to happen that way. Ive seen it happen all to often to others.
Im sorry to be harsh but I beleive not all marriages are ment to last and this certainly is one way of telling you that. You need to face the fact that you would be far better off leaving this man and finding someone who will truly love you and make you happy in the future instead of living in a life of pretence and one thats causing you a lot of unhappiness, you deserve much better than him.
It will take some time letting go of what emotional bonds you still feel for your husband but you will get over it and become a better wiser person for it.
Be strong and good luck for the future.
2006-08-01 10:55:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's it to you and how much u can tolerate, some men are just addicted to sex sadly to say-but if he promised u that he's stop and went back on his word, think its time for you to move on. Think I answered a question similar to this one before in which I said leopards don't change their spots.
Why do men cheat? Same reasons women cheat I suppose to get something they're not get tin at home-but it a man cheats on his partner, vice versa, woman cheat on her partner, then they don't love the person they're with. How could u be inlove with someone and have something as passionate and sacred as sex with someone else. ur sharing apart of urself with someone else-apart of u that u vowed to someone else, whether it was through marriage or commitment.
Unfortunately the Internet has become a stumpin ground for people to explore their voyeurism. They do things they won't normally do other wise. I met someone on here and actually flew to another continent to met them! Is that crz or what, but then again that's becomin pretty common, since then I've me several persons who've met ppl online fell in love and even gotten married. SO-if cyber fun is what he's into, u can't change him-either accept it or move on!
2006-08-01 07:36:39 · answer #3 · answered by Rogue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cannot possible be serious about the statement regarding loving you. Humans tend not to cheat on those they allegedly love. You ask him whether in his opinion you should sleep with somebody else as a sign of your undivided love towards him. He might just see things differently then. All this is if you can actually be bothered with him. If it was me, I wouldn't even try. I'd get a solicitor. It is sooo over. He was not worth your love. You deserve better.
2006-08-01 09:21:57 · answer #4 · answered by ribena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
juss leve him ... i had the same problem, my ex husband used to take his other wife into my house when i was not home and have sex on my bed and he promised that i culd have his child but actually it was just mind games and i was struggleing with doctors over depression and surgery and while i was working my *** off he goes n gets her pregnant and laughs in my face lyk look b**ch yu deserve it and yur not good enuff to have my kids so i said okki screw him and now im in the process of leving..if yu dont leve soon it will only get worse yu will fall more in luv and trust again then again he will break yur heart n trust and yu might do sumn psycho lyk i dunno murder? or beat him up or the woman up badly if yu get jealous..im not sure whut yur type is but am juss saying from experience cuz ive been there to many times.
2006-08-01 09:15:01 · answer #5 · answered by nazanin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two can play that game! If you really can't leave him because you love him so much then keep him but go and have lots of nice affairs and have a lot of fantastic sex with lots of fantastic sexy guys then you won't mind him doing it........realistically though you need to leave him and find someone who can respect you enough to keep his trousers up for five minutes! men only do as much as we are willing to let them..... in fact i feel so angry about this man i think that you should get him in his sleep..... and sleep with his best mates in his bed.... cut it off for him, that will teach the filthy scumbag!!!!!!!!
2006-08-01 07:27:17 · answer #6 · answered by DONNAIS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe everyone should get a second chance, even a man if he has an affair, but if he does it again then he has no respect for you, and he carnt love you otherwise he would realise how lucky he was the first time that you gave him a chance. get rid and find someone that will love and respect you.. good luck
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2006-08-01 07:40:11 · answer #7 · answered by sal p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in a society / custom it really is not any longer bible-depending, this statement is frequently heard. while in a society / custom it really is bible-depending, we do not imagine this way in any respect. a lady ie. a mom, produces a guy-baby besides as a lady-baby. yet in non-biblical societies, they differentiate the male from the female and positioned ability into the palms of the male yet oppress the female. while in a bible-depending custom, both the male and the female come from a lady and on the initiating , the lady got here from adam. So, this suggests ... they're all an identical ... equality. WHO cause them to diverse ? islamic societies, non-bible depending cultures. they're neanderthals , backward minds who understand little ... that is so imp. to instruct our little ones of w/ever gender. it really is so as that our minds ought to locate uncomplicated techniques to progression rather of regress.
2016-11-27 19:19:52 · answer #8 · answered by bowker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave him another chance and he did not do good with it. His words mean nothing, his actions are overrriding his words. He broke his marriage vows a long time ago and has proved he's not the trust worthy type. You can do better than him, not all men are like that.
2006-08-01 07:27:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have gave him a second chance in the first place. Why do you want to keep setting yourself up to be hurt? Hire a lawyer and divorce the piece of sh** immediately. He doesn't love you. If he did, he would not want to hurt you in any way. He is playing you for a fool and your letting him. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Good luck.
2006-08-01 07:21:07 · answer #10 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling... you will always hold the affair above him until you deal with why he cheated.. People can change but, communication about feelings are the savers.
2006-08-01 07:07:59 · answer #11 · answered by tracienmark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋