What do you do when your stepchildren dislike you?

Answer 1

I don't think you can make them like you, but I think your husband should be able to help make the whole situation tolerable for all of you. Regular family interaction could also help. The fact that you asked for opinions, shows that you do care. So, I think if you continue being yourself and keeping this positive attitude you have, everything is going to work out fine.

Answer 2

Well... I never had much of a problem with my stepmom, who met my dad when I was 16 (but then again, my dad and stepmom got married the day after I gave birth to my kids...).

I suppose, support them the way a natural parent would, but know when to back off like when a friend would (and let the natural parent take over at that point). Gain their trust, and give them some respect in turn. Learn where their limits are, and respect them to an appropriate extent (ie unwarrented snooping will anger the kids and dislike you more), but ensure they know where your limits are as well (and ensure they are one with the natural parent's limits too). Recognize them for their accomplishments (be it in school, in sports, in fingerpainting, or in video games, no matter how big or how little), but not so much it's patronizing. When they cry, be there to comfort them, and when they succeed, be there to praise them (if they're older, not in public, lest they dislike you more for embarrassing them).

Doing stuff with them will seem to be a bribe for their friendship. But being there for them will be a genuine act of friendship. And, deep down in the depths of your soul, love them as if they were your own flesh and blood. 'Cuz they'll know if you're just pretending.

Answer 3

Well i'd 1st speak to the mother/father of the children and get his/her input 1st because they r his/her children and he/she should be involved in finding out why or maybe he/she knows why already..

after speaking w/ur spouse i would confront the children together or if the spouse says it's okay take them out for an outing maybe one on one or together and just let them know how much u luv their mother/father and let them know that u'd never do anything to purposely hurt that person or them for that matter.. let them know that ur not trying to replace their mother or father and that u would really like for things to work out.. let them know that the last thing u want to be is there enemy.. ask them if u guys could become friends and take it slow.. let them know any questions that they may have that u will try to answer them as openly and honestly as possible..

and if that works out well than try to plan something where it's just u and the children like once every other week to so that u and the children grow some kind of bond w/each other...

also try to slip in that they'll get double the b-day presents, and x-mas gifts...

Answer 4

When I started the step mom thing I would just pay attention to them. Let them babble on and on and just lend an ear. All they wanted was a bit of attention. I was lucky b/c they didn't care for their mother. Now they say if I left their dad they would want to stay with me. I love my relationship with them. At the beginning i would play games with them and go shopping take em places and they seemed to like that. Now that it's been a year or so I don't do as much with them but they still appreciate me. I think they love me more then either of their parents.

Answer 5

Try having a better relationship with them. Find out what they are interested in and get involved with them in their activities.

Remarriage is hard on children. Read up on how to make it easier for them. There are alot of good articles on the web. Just search "step parenting". Remember you are the adult so you have to take the first step.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Find out why they dislike you. My Father has been married 3 times. The second wife was a total deceitful browbeating EVIL woman. She wasn't good for our father, she took every opportunity to manipulate us. and we didn't appreciate it. Luckily he finally left her, (after she cheated on him).

His current wife we absolutely adore. Because she treats us with respect and takes very good care of our father. We've physically threatened My dad if he screws this one up.

So basically it boils down to how you treat their dad. If you treat them with respect and civility even when they aren't thrilled with you, and show them that you are clearly good for their father. you should be just fine in the long run.

Answer 7

i did no longer like my step mothers and fathers because of fact in my strategies I only needed my own mothers and fathers to be at the same time. i did no longer like the 'different female' somewhat if she tried to be like a mom to me. I bear in mind in my head questioning 'this female isn't my mom, so she would desire to circulate away me on my own' that became many moons in the past, yet now as an person i come across i do in comparison to my step mothers and fathers because of fact i think they do no longer look to be solid sufficient for my mom or dad. in step with probability that's only me, yet all of them look phony or over extreme high quality, i can understand a individual greater in the event that they only be themselves

Answer 8

I'd ask myself WHY. See if it's something about you or about them.
If you don't find anything wrong on your part and how you treat them, then try to have a talk with them and explain how you feel, how it hurts that they don't give you a chance and how their actions won't change anything because you are married to their parent already and you love eachother.
And do not try to replace their mother/father cuz they already have that.

Answer 9

find out why and if it is a simple problem solve it n if it is just bc ur the step mom just be ur self and good to there parent. They will come around eventually. Its natural bc ur not there parent but it doesn't last

Answer 10

do your best to try to get along with them because things will always get better if you work things out and try to get along no matter what.and the best thing you can do if they yell at you an so forth is just sit back and listen,dont say a word.i had a step dad who hated me and that is what i did.