what do i do about my pregnant girlfriend?

Question

okay my girlfriend is pregnant and she is about 6 months well last night i told her to give the baby up for adobtion because im not ready to be a father and i want to go into the mariens well she told me and she was not going to and that i should have said something earlier and i should be supporting her not giving her a hard time right now well im not ready to be a father and i think we should so i can have a life in the marines what do i to convice my girlfriend to or do you think it's wrong that i am even mentioning it to her because she was crying last night about it i don't know what to do im just so mad at her she wont do what i want her to do what do i do?

trust me when i say i am thinking about me and her future and i don't see anything good happening to either of us with a baby involved i do love her and i tell her i do but she can not give me one good reason why she wants to keep with baby she tell me it's hard to explain and she is attached well she shouldn't be our baby is not even born yet i think it would be the right thing to do she says well josh i have already got things already and picked her name it's would be to hard well she needs to think about what i want to

Answer 1

6 months along is too late to suddenly decide you don't want to be a father. Fact is you're pretty close to not having a girlfriend anymore, which will probably be best for everyone involved. Work out a child support agreement now, or the courts will force one on you that you probably won't be able to afford, join the Marines if that's your career plan, and hope your soon to be ex-girlfriend meets a nice guy in the future who'll have the resources and maturity to help her parent the child you're to selfish to want to deal with, or at least try to arrange things now so she'll have support and resources she'll need to help her as a single parent.

And, from now on, when you have sex, use protection. If you're not ready to be a parent, take responsibility for your sexual actions and practice some prevention.

Answer 2

Ready or not, like or not, you're about to become a father. Don't be so selfish. Yes, I know you want to experience life in the military and you've probably heard a lot of stories which is why you don't want to be tied down to your girlfriend or a baby right now. Well, this isn't an easy thing to swallow, but had you said "No" to sex or had you been more careful... you know the rest. But, since you are in this situation, remember, God makes NO mistakes. This child is a part of both of you. Think of how she must feel. Were you adopted or put up for adoption? It's not as easy as it might sound. Sure it might be good for the moment while you're young and don't want to be bothered with a child, but your reasons are very selfish. One day you would think back about the decision you made. That child may even want to find you one day just to see where he/she came from. Could you deal with not knowing if your child was being hurt, abused or neglected by a total stranger? Be a man and take care of your responsibilities. Children are a blessing. Don't waste the precious time you have to plan for your child's future with nonsense. Being a parent is very rewarding. This is one of life's best lessons you'll ever learn. Be supportive through the rest of her pregnancy. The stress you put her under can affect both her and the baby. The baby feels everything that the mother feels. You can't be mad at her, she's being responsible. Sounds to me like she's going to raise this child with or without you and that's the way she should feel. The Marines are looking for "a few GOOD men." Isn't that what you want to be? So, step up to the plate, it's your turn to be a GOOD man.
You also seem a little controlling by the last statement you made about her not doing what you want her to do. She's not your remote control toy or puppet that does everything you want her to do. You need to get out of that mindset quick, fast and in a hurry!

Good Luck! I'm sure you'll do the right thing since you posted the question for feedback.

Answer 3

Roll with the punches. You should have said something earlier, way earlier. In addition to that, you should have taken the proper precautions not to get her pregnant, but it's all water under the bridge now.

Many people second guess their decision about being parents. More so out of fear that their social lives will end or they won't be great parents. Its very difficult to raise a child, but they are blessings in countless different ways.

I'm sure at 6 months you guys have already established raising the child as a family;not giving the baby up for adoption. If she is not willing to go through with the adoption (which is pretty doubtful at this time) you can always sign over your parental rights once the baby is born. I wouldn't suggest this but it's your life. Keep in mind, your decision about adoption may change once you lay eyes on that baby.

Answer 4

Guess what pal? If you join the Marine Corps without marrying the girl and she hits you for child support, the Marine Corps will MAKE you pay whatever is ordered by the court, which will probably be your entire salary for the first two years of your enlistment. So here are your choices: (1) You can do the honorable thing, which any REAL Marine would do, which is marry the girl and take care of your child, or (2) You can leave for San Diego or Paris Island and spend the next two years of your life being a grunt with no money because it's all being sent away for child support. If you have any honor, you'll take responsibility for your actions and marry the girl.

Answer 5

You shouldn't be giving her a hard time right now. If you weren't ready to have a child you should have thought about that initially. The marines are not going to look highly on your refusal to support your child. If you don't want to be a part of this child's life but she does then more power to her. You could at least support the child that you helped create. I'm sure this is a very scary time for you but you should try to consider how she's feeling to and right now is not the time to be getting mad at her because she won't do what you tell her to.

Answer 6

It is hard enough to be pregnant. With the changing of hormones, body, and life, no one needs what you have put this girl through. She has had this child inside her for 6 months, dreaming of its future, imagining herself holding it, rocking it to sleep at night. Wondering what it will be like when she sends her child off to college, or into the service. You have no right to be mad or even ask this of her. How can one be so selfish as to only think of yourself. What about her life? Do you have no shame? Being active in the military is probably the best thing you can do for your family. You can now get an education, a good job, the family benefits of military servicemen are outstanding. You will have a great opportunity of on base housing, your child will get scholarships to college. This child will not ruin your life but enhance it. Be a man, own up to your responsibilities, hug your girlfriend and tell her the two of you will get through this together. Then bend down and kiss her belly. That's your baby in there, half of you, and waiting to come out to love you unconditionally. It may seem hard now, but I promise it will be the greatest thing you have ever done, and you will see validation in that the first time your child looks into your eyes and sees you as the man who hung the moon and the stars. You are the hero in your child's eyes.

Answer 7

As a man I understand you, but you know that you should think of it earlier, right now there are only two choices: Either you will agree to become a father either you not. the choice is coming from the thing that you and your girlfriend must think - Are you ready for having a baby. in all meanings: money, house, time, love and ofcource are you morally ready for it. Talk to her and discuss this questions maybe she will understand it by herself, that she don't need it right now or maybe you will understand that you will be a father. Choice is yours and I wish that anyway you will resolve it with your girl, you will stay together and will be happy!

Answer 8

first off she's not obligated to do what you want her to do....especially when it comes to a human life. second, she's right....you shouldve said something sooner to where maybe she wouldnt be pregnant now and you wouldnt have to worry about it. What i think you should do right now is support your girlfriend as much as you can....she really needs you now more than ever....andthere's no one stopping you from joining the marines but since she's already 6 months along i would say you should stay until she has the baby (im sure it would mean alot to her if you were there for the birth) and then join the marines....have you thought about marrying her? i thought in the miliatry you could get bonuses and stuff for getting married and having kids....maybe not i dunno....but dont put your self infront of hers or the babys...its too late for that now....just play it cool until the baby is born then join the marines....hope the advice helps....good luck and congrats on your baby!

Answer 9

YOU ARE A SELFISH JERK! If you weren't ready to be a dad you should of wrapped it up... It is not about you anymore and what you want, that was rude of you and terrible to even mention to her at this point! And how dare you say so that you can have a life.... You sure aren't ready to be a parent, but it is to late even if the baby were given up it is your to give it away is a terrible thing for a mother to carry and feel that baby inside of her moving and to give it away.... You guys think nothing of it because you don't go through the emotional attachment of creating life inside you...

I would not even talk to you at all if I were her! BECAUSE YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLE JERK!
You should be supporting her not hurting her!

Answer 10

If she says shes not going to give up the baby for adoption
she means it and what you do from here is your business.

If I was in her position I would want to keep the baby too and
I think your girlfriend has that right,

No one can tell you what to do, because they are not the one's
bringing up your future child but hopefully you will come to
some conclusion, discuss this with your closest family members
maybe they could support you here is some way.

Don't be mad at your girlfriend, she obviously cares a great
deal for you.

I wish you all well