are hardship unwelcome or it is part of our development?

Question

how do you learn more: by good example and attitudes or by people who give you hard time?
Do you think that we should learn in positive way or should we be punished by bosses or lovers or friends to 'learn our lesson well'?

Answer 1

Positive and negative reinforcement both have there place in the development of a healthy mindset.

People and especially children, generally follow the path of least resistance and follow the nearest role-models who seem to have the easiest coping mechanisms. Right and wrong are not factored into the equation unless there is a compelling social pressure to comply...again path of least resistance, people don't fight everyone unless they feel cornered, it is simply easier to "go along to get along".

Bosses are interested in results, that is why they pay you. Good bosses create incentives to exceed without resorting to intimidation or bullying.

Lovers should not be bosses, nor should they be "teaching us lessons" through punishment.

most people respond best to positive reiforcement, not negative.

Answer 2

Its been my experience that a girl who has had hardship is the best wife that a man could have!

I wouldnt WANT some one who has had an easy life, and not suffered 'some', because I want a "survivor" who can stick with me, when the chips are down!

Some one who has had an "easy life" will not know hardships and will not be able to handle it, and when hard times come into the door, she will go out the back with her bags packed, running home to Mama!

Hardship builds character, and that strenghtens one's resolve to stay the course and handle all that comes thier way.

Being abused is a different story! No one should put up with abuse, no matter what or whom it is by! Those that are the abuser should be arrested and put in anger management classes! And the person should get out and as far away from them or they will assume the role of a "victim" and be useless to anyone...

I wish you well..

Jesse

Answer 3

Both... In all cases. All are necessary parts of developing. Sometimes these aren't the RIGHT methods to teach that particular lesson, but there is ALWAYS a time and place for learning by good example and by hard times. You can't have one without the other, and as counter-idealistic as this is, it does sometimes take pain to make someone stop doing something that isn't good, or learn that something can be done better. It's a double-edged sword of human nature.

Answer 4

You need the combination of both. it's how you take it that matters. some people will rebell to punishment. and some will never learn until there is a consequece. one or the other alone might not work. one will creative a rebelious/suppress/not confident child or adult, the other basicly a spoil brat. A good combination of both should create a balance and stable person. Then they'll know that every action has consequences and no matter what those people loves/loved us and be able to handle it better the next time.

Answer 5

Learning in a positive way is more acceptable to me rather receiving hard time from my superior. Really life is not that easy but it is not a reason to imposed added hardship in order to prove that life is not that easy! Be rational in everything and cooperation that will build up team working to achieve the objectives in life is more acceptable with me.

Answer 6

Positive development is, in my opinion, the best way forward.

However, civilised society needs Punishment and Rules to enforce the needed Social Norms

Answer 7

I think normal feedback is lesson enough. It's not all black and white. Storms come and trees get stronger. Be the Bamboo.

Answer 8

hardships are an unwelcome part of our development necessary to our existance.

Answer 9

i think it depends on the person. some people need to be broken to rebuild them (boot camp type stuff) and some people all they need is a firm but gentle shove in the right direction