My fiance & I have been together for 7 years...over the past year he has been on alot of business trips...we don't see each other alot (haven't seen him in 7 months) He was deeply in love with me just a year ago ..I felt so loved and care for ..but now he completely changed we no longer talk about our love life and If I am hurt he never try to cheer me up like before...I just feel there is no love in his heart for me anymore (he doesn't even care to come home) I asked him if he think we should separate but he said he's deeply in love with me but I don't think it's that way...I asked him to come home but he said he has alot of work to do (he will probably return home October)..I love him so much but I don't think he feel the same way about me.
What do you suggest I should do?
2006-08-01 06:30:08 · 42 answers · asked by Blondie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't say anything to him. Act as normal & try to work everything out. Be persistant as far as asking him what is going on. Find out if he has someone else. You should be able to do that when he comes back. Lots of technics for this (check his cell phone, look in his personal area for anythign, etc, etc)
In the mean time. Prepare your body & mind that this thing is over. Spend two days eliminating thoughts of him in your head. When it happens, think of something else, someone else you like, even if it isn't a partner you would like. This is good practice in case something happens.
Also depending on what your situation is, look into renting an apartment & what not, whatever the situation may require.
I know its hard to do this & act like nothing is up to him. But I think you should do it.
2006-08-01 06:49:09 · answer #1 · answered by sbeaz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just has a lot on his mind. Sounds like he is a really busy person. Stop bothering him about it and wait until he comes back in October. There is no use bugging him while you cannot talk face to face. If things aren't different when he is back with you then just let him know once and for all how you feel. If he loves you, then he will try to make things work, and you need to try also. Don't keep reminding him or making a big deal out of everything he doesn't do for you. Appreciate what he does do for you and thank him for all the small things. If he doesn't make a sincere effort though, you may need to see a marriage counselor because it would seem that neither of you are satisfied with the relationship. After all it is called a "seven-year itch" and you have reached that point.
2006-08-01 06:38:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that before you jump into any conclusions, that you should talk about it. Sometimes, the passion in a relationship wanes when people have gotten so used to each other. I think you should ask him: a) if he feels the same way about you, and b) if he still wants to push through your plans of getting married, and c) what you can both do to make things better.
Sometimes, your instincts will point you to a certain problem, but there's no use pondering on it, unless you confront it, and ask the person involved. Worst case scenario is that he's not willing to work on this relationship any further, and neither do you...and if that's the case, you should prepare yourself, gather all your strengths and be able to move on.
Good luck!
2006-08-01 06:48:26 · answer #3 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just do what you think is right 7 years is a long time to just through it away. Try talking to him again. But when you ask advice it sounds like its already over. Relationships aren't easy my husband and I have been together 9 yrs and its not easy but we still love each other. Maybe he is just depressed for the moment maybe he just needs you to be there for him. When a person changes it affects everyone I hope he is just going through a part in his life that he just doesn't know if he is things will go back to normal. When he does come home don't crowd him but do love him maybe that will help. The problem with today and divorce people just give up to easy. It's not easy with you all the luck. When my husband goes away I send him sexy pictures of myself. Cameras have delay on the picture Try it
2006-08-01 06:42:09 · answer #4 · answered by Andria K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May be he has some one else, you need to get ready to whatever will happens in this relationship. We, women, we have a 6th sense, use it doll! Don't stay at home just thinking one day he will come back! Face the situation with him, ask him what is going on, if he has other woman is because he really doesn't love you anymore.
Move on Lady, there are a lot of good guys out there. Find some one else who really cares about you.
Good Luck.
2006-08-01 06:38:30 · answer #5 · answered by divacobian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. If your heart is suggesting something is wrong - try to resolve the issue before you get married. It is better to fix this now then to wait until after marriage and have regrets.
Long distance relationships (which is what his work travel has created) put a lot of strain on any relationship. This could simply be a symptom of the distance.
If you are able to work out these issues now you will have a very healthy and successful marriage ahead of you. If you and your fiancee are unable to work it out - it is better to deal with that now than later.
Counseling is an option. Another is to talk to him, tell him how you feel and see if you can reach a compromise. You also have to be willing to listen to him and try to compromise with what he wants too.
Good luck. I hope you are able to either work this out and stregnthen your relationship or make decisions to avoid more problems in the future.
Either way - trust what you are feeling because obviously something is wrong - even if its as simple as you aren't getting what you need out of this relationship.
2006-08-01 06:36:35 · answer #6 · answered by Tamborine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the guy the benefit of the doubt.
Maybe he is just working alot and is stressed out with his job. Sounds like it takes him out of town alot and for long periods of time.
If he works out of state, town or country then he just cant come home because you want him to.
Wait till he comes home and then have a heart to heart talk with him. Ask him all your questions and make your assessments while looking him in the eye and reading his body language.
You may be stressing over nothing. Only time will tell when he comes home and you two are face to face.
2006-08-01 06:39:32 · answer #7 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have somewhat the same situation going on. My husband is never here. He doesn't come home for hours at a time. We don't know where he is. When he does come home it's to see if he got any mail, change his clothes then leave again. He says he is an adult and does not need to explain his where abouts. Oh, we have been married 38 years. I am preparing to leave. And that has been long overdue. Best of luck to you
2006-08-01 08:45:56 · answer #8 · answered by I love winter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want your husband every day home after work, loving, caring, make love to you, stuff like that now it been 7 months since not see and I think you should find someone.
If he in love with you sooo much why didn't he find better job to be home more to be with you? I remember told my wife how much I love her so much and I would do anything to find job and be home 5 pm every night and off weekend. and That how much deeply much in love with my wife. I don't think he understand what going on.... So I think you should dump him riht now and find a guy who at home ever night and not gone 7 months or more not tell you anything anymore like before.
I am a male and I am glad that I choose to be with my wife and job. If I have any woman that want me to move closer to other state then I would do it. that how much I do with my wife. and I am better than him. and If you married him right now you will never ever be happy and never know if he cheating on you how can you not know if he doing it or not?
That going to be hard on you so much. Pls take my advice end it and tell him want to be friend and if he ever have a different job where he can be home very night showing that he truly loves me and eh would do that for me. Like I said That how I did with my wife and glad I did made that choice and she did the samething and we truly in love and now it been 9 years of marriage. so think twice befor you do something.
2006-08-01 07:22:46 · answer #9 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he doesn't want to separate or leave you, you are still there waiting for him! You make it easy for him to come and go. You accept and allow this behavior from him. By accepting things as you described them is showing him that you are not worth much and deserve to be treated this way. After 7 years you are still only a fiance who sees him when he comes around. Do you really think any of this will change if you do ever get married??
You are worth so much more and deserve so much more, he doesnt deserve you.
2006-08-01 06:48:05 · answer #10 · answered by Lovely Lioness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋