How can i get over something traumatic that happened in my past?

Question

I grew up in a very abusive home you name it, its ben done to me. I ran away when i was 14 and i lived on the street until i met the woman who would later adopt me as her own child. I started modeling when i was 16 and I've been all over the world. I'm currently looking to start my own modeling agency. I have all this good fortune in my life and yet i cannot sleep without dreaming about what has happened in my past. I wake up sweating, crying, shaking on occasion i'm so sick that i throw up. And i often go into deep deep depressions that can last days at a time. Recently i got into an argument with my girlfriend of 8 years she accused me of being so wrapped up in my past that i don't give her the attention that she needs.she says my depression is hard to deal with and suggested that i get over what happened to me. I have been to countless psychiatrist and been on countless anti-depressants but no matter what my past is still front and center. Its putting a strain on our relationship

I love her very much, she along with my daughter are the best things that have ever happened in my life but the trauma's of my past keep me from telling her how i truly feel. She's been with me through a suicide attempt and much more but she come's from a very good home and she can't understand some of the things that i've been through it makes me angry when she tells me to just get over it like its some petty thing. But i do agree with her when she tells me living in my past is killing me. And i want to be able to sleep at night but nothing seems to be working. Does anyone have any words of advice?
-Shane

Answer 1

A therapist that has training in abuse would be useful to you. Also, explore the Yahoo groups for women that have childhood abuse. A support group/system is critical to getting past this.

Also, 'The Courage to Heal' is a book that you should buy immediately. (The Amazon link is in the post).

Until you deal with your past, it will poison everything that happens in your future. It will cost you relationships, and opportunities. Right now, the pain in your past is a big glaring monster instead of an item that 'lives on the shelf' with your other memories.

One more point... If you allow yourself to stay comfortable with being in pain from the past, you will stay there. It is familiar and you know how to deal with the discomfort it causes you. Sometimes, the idea of healing is more frighteneing than staking sick, because you don't have the pain to blame for your actions anymore.

Answer 2

I'll tell you what a good friend of mine once told me. Until you can forgive yourself for what happened and the person for what happened then and only then can you begin to heal. Your girlfriend is right your depression and anger for what happened to you you just haven't let go of yet and its straining your relationship bad. I think that its best for you to take a week all to yourself and maybe even go back to your childhood home and talk to the abuser and tell him/her that they are forgiven, then and only then will you be ride of your past. Finally don't dwell on your past once you have forgiven someone lock it right their in that moment. I can't stand when someone says that they forgive you and hold it over your head for the rest of your life. Much luck to becoming the new you and starting a new relationship with your old girlfriend. anymore questions feel free to email me at [e-mail]
One last thing, live each day to the fullest letting nothing hold you back and nothing push you forward but your own will and destiny.

Answer 3

Honey, what you are suffering from, to me, means that you are not ready to leave your past. It's as if you have not come to terms with it or accepted what has happened. What you need to do is perhaps accepting what happened, then how that has made you a stronger woman and what you can learn from your experiences. Take all those negative memories and instead of focusing on how they damaged you, focus on how much they have strenghtened you to become the woman that you are. You can always get a positive learning experience from a bad episode of your life.

Once you think of your past POSITIVELY, you will realize that if those things have not happened, maybe you would not have your daughter or your parter with you now. Things in our lives shape our future, and one of those bad experience may have led you to the two loves of your life.

Answer 4

i'm not going to go on about therapy and the lot, i'm going to suggest a much more pro-active stance. get a copy of alberto villilodo's book mending the past healing the future with soul retrieval, basically when we have traumatic events little parts of our soul are lost , we can bring these back and heal them shamanically to make ourselves whole. you can take courses to do it yourself or find a shamanic lightworker through his (or any # of other) group. i have done this myself to heal over being orphaned at 8, and being raised in an alcoholic home with no love. it worked for me, it could work for you, feel free to contact me directly if you need more info, i do have contacts.............may you find the path into pure light thats leads you from this darkness.

Answer 5

I am not sure what happened in your past, so it is difficult to be specific in my suggestions for help. I'm not sure what your life is like now, but I would try to surround yourself with good friends, find a counselor (who is not a psychiatrist - a csw perhaps) who you like and respect to meet with on a weekly basis (more if they think it's necessary). Ask your gf what you can do to strenthen your relationship. Even tho she might think she knows what you're feeling explain to her what you're going thru and do your best to pull yourself up. I wish you the best.

Answer 6

Most of the time the best medicine is talking. Find a good therapist so that you can release the negative. There are a lot of good support groups as well. Also, consider taking up yoga. My therapist recommended it to me, and it really has helped.

Answer 7

It is good to talk about it in a supportive environment. Find a counselor or therapist and work with them to accept the past it happened and it is over it was terrible and it wasn't your fault, you did not deserve it.

Hope you find what you need.

Answer 8

If she can't understand what your going through, try telling her your story, the full story, spare no details. with the new insight she might better understand yuor difficulties. If you have already done this, try hypnotism, it sounds crazy, but it might just work.

Answer 9

wow your story sounds like a rags to riches one
have you tried hypnotherapy?
you should rememebr the positive parts of your life and try very hard to let go

Answer 10

You probably have post traumatic stress disorder.......

medication and therapy do help...but something that i've heard helps is just allowing yourself to think about everything that's happend, as painful as it is, and realize that it's not your fault and it's over. try and give yourself closure.....it's not easy , it never is. and try to stick to going to therapy and on being on a medication for awhile and see if that helps too...