You asked a guy you have been "talking" too about a relationship? What is the matter with you? You work on friendship, you get to know each other, THEN you worry about a relationship.
2006-08-01 05:23:32
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answer #1
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answered by doc 6
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It sounds to me like he does not want to be in a relationship with YOU. I don't mean that in a cruel way...some people just aren't made to be in a serious relationship and function better as friends. If he was on the same level as you, he would have no problem making more of a commitment in the relationship. You shouldn't try to force it...it will only end up messy and you will no longer be friends. If he is worth it for you, I suggest waiting it out to see where it goes. Don't push him, though. You will never know how someone TRUELY feels...most people don't even know themselves that well.
Break-ups do not usually end in friendship...or at least to the same level they were before the relationship. Guy/girl friendships exist on a higher level because there is always the unknown of what it would be like if you were to hook-up! Once that unknown urge is satisfied...the relationship changes forever. It's easy to say that you will remain friends if the relationship does not go well but you don't know how it will end.
Just stay close to him and, gradually, your relationship will progress. If you continue to push him too fast, you will ruin future chances with him. Good luck.
2006-08-01 12:48:39
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answer #2
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answered by Veccster 2
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Well you see, may be you are able to stay friends with someone that you just broke up with but he can't. Every person is different. See when a guy knows a girl from romantic point of view, being friends w/ her afterwards just doesn't feel right. I think you should stay friends for now and make him see who you are. If he will have 100% reassurance that the relationship will be long term and it won't hurt him I think he will ask you out first. You would ask how to achieve it? Well, that is up to you. Turn on your charm, be as supportive and understanding as possible, but don't show that you are desperate to be in relationship w/ him because he might take advantage of that. NO matter how nice the guy is if he sees a girl is despearate to be with him, he will take advantage. I hope this helps.
2006-08-01 12:28:32
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answer #3
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answered by russianguyfrombrooklyn 2
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I certainly don't want to hurt any ones feelings, but every time a guy turns a girl down, she automatically thinks it is the guy's fault because he is afraid of relationships. Maybe it's really because the girl isn't the one or the type he is interested in and he is trying to be polite or avoid a situation. Not all feelings of interest are mutual. Sometimes it's a one way street. Also there is a big difference between a relationship and physical contact. Just because you have one doesn't mean you are going to get the other.
2006-08-01 12:33:13
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answer #4
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answered by hikerboy3 3
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If friendship isn't enough for you dear, then tell him so. It's nearly impossible to be around someone you have feelings for, without actually being permitted to act on them.
Knowing he may lose you as a friend anyone, might cause him to rethink.
Sometimes people who do the 'let's be friends' thing are afraid of only being in ONE relationship - they like to have back up plans, and someone to "be" around between flings, and possible flirt and even more, without losing out on other "opportunities." And that doesn't sound like much of a friend now does it?
If YOU are past the point of being friends with him, the relationship will likely never go back to what is was before, and he needs to know that. He needs to decide to act on it, or for you guys to go your separate ways. Here's hoping he gives it a shot because really, friends are a BEAUTIFUL way to start a relationship, and if you always treat eachother like friends as well as mates, likely the fun, the humor, the lowerr expectations/maintenance and the forgiveness will carryover into your romantic relationship as well.
On the other hand, if he's this reluctant... it may mean that he actually cares for you in some way, but knows he's not interested in that kind of relationship and doesn't want to hurt you - he may know that what he's looking for is more of a fling with someone he doesn't know or is attached to well enough to care about whether he hurts the other person!
Or he may have just been really hurt in the past. In which case, given plenty of time and support, often they eventually heal and come around. (Don't give TOO much support though - sometimes as soon as they've gotten over the hurt, they run for another girl! In which case much of your time and energy would be wasted. Just be around, be supportive, and be available on one occasion or two.)
Either way, do you really know the motive for why he's holding you off at arm's length?
2006-08-01 12:32:12
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answer #5
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answered by UnrealJuju 2
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look this is how it goes. When a person says that they do not want to ruin the friendship, what they really mean is that they're honestly not into you. if a guy honestly wants to go that extra step with you, he'll let you know. but it seems that he doesnt. so dont pressure the guy or you'll truly ruin the friendship.
2006-08-01 12:26:41
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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I don't really know why guys are afraid of being in a relationship. I think the idea of being with only one woman scares them. I could be wrong though.
2006-08-01 12:25:32
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answer #7
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answered by Tokyo 2
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guys are afraid of being hurt an some don';t like to getting in to realationship because of what was an then some again r hoping to get back with there exs there are so many reason i can name i';m not to sure want u can do to comfort him but u can try to hang out with him more often an get alittle involve with what he like doing start of slow with observation an see how it goes from there eventually he would start to notice u
2006-08-01 12:26:29
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answer #8
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answered by vicsha 2
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If he's a real friend he should already know that about you. Most men are scared to get in real relationships because they feel like their going to miss out on something!
2006-08-01 12:24:40
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answer #9
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answered by Ms. Educated 2
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I think guys fear being tied down. If you are not in a relationship you can go to Europe or hike the Himilayas or ride a motorcycle to California, whatever, you are F R E E.
2006-08-01 12:25:21
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answer #10
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answered by jxt299 7
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