Should I kick his butt?

Question

I live with my wife, 6 month baby and 15 yr.old brother-in-law. They lost there mom 1 yr ago so we ended up with bro. Hes acting up to the point that he does not listen to sis. and this morning he told her bad words. We found pics on his cell of him drinking and partying with friends. He uses the excuse of the mom, but we know that he was acting up before she passed away if not more. I got pissed when she told me about this morning and have a bad temper. Don't want this to end ugly, any good advice or programs? Military school cost $1000 and I can't afford it. I am from Los Angeles, CA.

Answer 1

He needs to have some counseling. You may be able to get financial aid for military school if that is the way you want to go. My step-son acted out too and uses the fact that he was only 5 when his mom died and own mom's siblings have told him that is not right and he needs to grow up and take responsibility for his actions. My husband now wishing we would have sent him to military school because he is now 20 and a high-school drop out and cannot hold a job. Before he does something that will end up harming your child you need to do something.

Answer 2

Don't kick his butt, believe me doesn't work every time I had my butt kicked all I thought about was getting back.

I am not a parent so I don't want to tell you your business but it sounds your brother-in-law has to much time on his hands.

Does he have a job, maybe it is about time, does he pay you rent, kinda harsh but if he doesn't respect you why should you respect him.

Also, you might want to check into a kick-butt marital arts school that will teach him discipline and respect. Much cheaper then military school and very effective. With his job he can pay a portion of the cost.

Good luck with this, sounds like you are stuck in a bind don't resort to violence there never is a good reason for it even if you have a bad temper.

Answer 3

take him to counseling. don't think just because he's not your son you can't discipline him. YES, YOU CAN!! i know it's tough for him, and no offense boys are a little more stubborn, so he won't admit his feelings. he needs you and his sis now more than anything, but he doesn't want to reach out to you. in a way, i think he thinks damaging his body with alcohol might ease the pain, but it'll make things worse. don't give up on him, he might feel abandoned.
It's also good if there is a friend of his whose parents you are close to, or starting to know. that way, when he doesn't want to stay at your place, he could go there, and clear his mind.
he might be heding down a bad road if you don't help him
lastly, PRAY!!! God is watching him, and you need support from the Man upstars

I hope i helped you
may God Bless you and your family

Answer 4

he needs some discipline and fast!

the other answerers have great suggestions about assistance for school, asking about any programs for teens....etc.

also, think about making him get a job....sit him down and discuss with him that he lives in YOUR house and even though it's cruddy circumstances, that's how it is. make sure he udnerstands that in YOUR house people WILL be treated with respect and he WILL listen to you guys---BOTH of you. get active in this situation. he needs parental figures, not a sister adn brother-in-law.

also, let him know that he needs to find a part time job. this way, if he feels that he is old enough to use adult language and he is old enough to know what's best for him, then he is old enough to get a job and contribute to the household finances.

at 15 he can find a job:
-grocery store bagger and cart pusher
-pool or lawncare business
-auto shop
-pizza shop
-fast food restaurants sometimes hire at 15 i think.

then, when he gets his paycheck divide it up! a certain percentage should go to you guys if he is misbehaving. if he is doing well at home, then he can have more of his paycheck.
make sure he has a joint account that can only be drafted if he signs and his legal guardian signs the draft.
so, let's say his check is $100 for the week:
-$20 for you
-$20 for him
-$60 into savings for college....i hope you guys are thinking about that...it's 3 years away.

hope this helped.

take care.

Answer 5

Well I understand what he is talking about but he shouldnt resort to drinking. I lost my mother a year ago as well, easy to go for the alcohol. Instead of trying to throw him in military school or juivi try talking to him, maybe some counsiling, its not easy losing a family member exhaust all your resources before you make any harsh decisions- remember kids will be kids, when was the first time you drank alcohol?

Answer 6

If y'all are appointed Custody basically I would wear his *** out. If that don't work don't give him ne money if he don't come home on time lock the doors do what you need to do to make him understand. Set something up where its like he is getting caught for what he is doing by the police and maybe that will straighten him up work with something see if the police will help you out and some of the stuff I'm sure they will if they care ne thing about there youth.. you have to ask to receive soo go out and get help

Answer 7

It's your sis that needs to break him. Work with her as she has more of an emotional oover him than you.

Have you tried a gym (at your local ymca)?
Air cadets / army for youngsters?
What about responsibility? Perhaps if you force him to be responsible he'll have to shape up? (Perhaps letting him look after the baby for an hour).
Acting classes.
Tinkering with a car engine? - with the goal to get it fixed for him.
Local church youth group?

Hope this helps and Good luck

Answer 8

Kicking his butt will only cause him to have bad feelings toward you and may only put your six month old in harms way later. Set an example and let him know he needs councelling. Then be sure he gets it.

Answer 9

He needs counseling. At least to show him that ya'll care. check local counselors and ask for non insured programs that might be cheap. Let them know your situation.

Even group therapy is good and sometimes free.

Answer 10

You really can't do anything unless you are his legal guardian. If that is the case, I would suggest a state-run level three group home. If he has insurance, it should be free or near free.