After being together for months my gf told me that she cheated on me with her ex a month before, when we came home from college for the summer. It was at a party and she was drunk. The night of the party I woke up at 2 in the morning to pick her up and i had work at 7. when she told me i didnt no how to react. She said she was sorry and that it was because she was drunk. She then said she wanted to kill herself. She was trying to take knives and such. I doubt she would actually do it but i was still scared so i didnt want to just take off at that time. I watched her the rest of the night and we talked. Did she say she would kill herself so i couldn't get mad at her? Also i told her i never want her to be around that guy. Was this a controling thing to do or is it justified? we ended up staying together and it has been about a month since she told me. I love her so much and i didnt stay with her because i am weak it is really true love. I do trust her but i will never forget.
2006-08-01 04:34:27 · 8 answers · asked by Brad 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't think that she was serious about killing herself. I think she did it so i wouldnt yell at her because she figured i was scared to yell at someone who might kill themselves. Yes i think it was manipulative but i saw it and i didnt yell at her before she said she was going to. I only said that she hurt me. I do trust her now but i just wont trust her around him for awhile because i know he takes advantage of women. And i know she was drunk because i picked her up that night.
2006-08-01 04:50:11 · update #1
So it seems that i let out some detail we were together for 9 months when she told me she cheated on me so it hapeened when we were together for 7-8 months when it happened
2006-08-01 05:05:22 · update #2
Look at it like this man, would she be comfortable with you being around an ex-that maybe you cheated on her with. Often times this is about putting the shoe on the other foot. I know she wouldn't want you anywhere near that chick so it's ok for you to have the same rules. At the same time you don't sound like a controlling guy so it's going to hinder your compatability. Your a BF not a babysitter. If you are how you sound then you like your girl to go do what she wants beceause you trust her, and your trust with her is damaged. Even though it seems like a good Idea to stay together even though she was drunk and wants to kill herself, you need time away from her to really focus on your thought and the betrayl you experienced, do be the cool nice guy and out how you feel to the side for her. That doens't make you weak it makes you human, and prone to error. If I were you I take a good few weeks to a month off and if she really wants you then she needs to prove it to you. If she doens't her pattern will continue and you will have set a very important tone. Other women will know this guy doens't tolerate cheating and if they want you they already know where you stand when it comes to un-faithfullness. Your justified in your actions on the surface, but your not justfied for them deep down becasue it's not how you are and you shouldn't ever have to sacrafice that for anyone man. So keep your head up playa........Go to a tight steak joint by your self and get some good food and think things over.
2006-08-01 04:46:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 12⤊ 3⤋
You are right to tell her she can't see him again. Once trust has been broken, you don't really have a reason to trust her with him again, do you? She's shown that she is weak to temptation and allowed herself to become weak when she became drunk with him at the party. That being said - I'm glad the two of you are trying to stick together and learn how to re-trust. A part of being able to trust her again is her acting in a trustworthy manner by not continuing to hang out with this gent.
Now.. as far her threatening to kill herself.. some women do this for power play and pity manipulation. My ex-boyfriend's ex was constantly threatening to kill herself if he didn't get back together with her - she never did. But you don't really know what's going on so just advice that she get therapy and offer your support if you're truly concerned that there is a problem.
2006-08-01 04:43:26 · answer #2 · answered by Spiked Coffee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is manipulating you. I am not just being rude, but she did act like she was going to kill herself to see what your reaction would be. If you had said something like, "that is what you deserve right now" then she would have known that this is something unacceptable by you. Tell her you need time to get over what happened because it is killing you inside and I guarantee within one week, she is banging her ex again--and she won't be drunk this time. If she stays true to you and waits until you are satisfied and have found resolution within, then she is right for you. Good luck.
2006-08-01 04:42:40 · answer #3 · answered by Julie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't understand why someone would want to be with a person that has cheated on them. As much as they say they care about you and love you, they didn't love you enough to think about you and realize how much they love you to stop what they are doing. Leave her alone, and if you still are with this girl, then everything is justified it is not controlling.
2006-08-01 04:46:28 · answer #4 · answered by johnsonjrod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about her..once a cheater is always a cheater...do u seriously believe that she was drunk when she cheated with her ex..she probably still cares about him..just move on
2006-08-01 04:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by luvs2play06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheater always a cheater
2006-08-01 04:50:43 · answer #6 · answered by Shawna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do not lie to yourself bro...you Won't trust her.
ain't gonna happen.
2006-08-01 04:44:19 · answer #7 · answered by daddio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
too long to read...dang bro....
2006-08-01 04:39:15 · answer #8 · answered by Ricknows 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋