i just found out my 13 year old daughter is active what do i do? he was over 18!!?

Answer 1

Children learn what they live. With a trailer trash "pimpsquad" mother, what do you expect?

Would it make a difference to you if the boy was 14? or are you mad because he paid your daughter directly, and didn't go through her "pimp"?

Answer 2

5 years difference is no big deal if they are both consenting adults. In this case your daughter is NOT. You as a parent have the right to notify the police, this is called statutory rape. You probably should try to talk to your daughter as calmly as possible so she can still trust you. She then should probably go to the doctors to get a pelvic exam. Hopefully she was smart enough to use protection. However since you can't watch her 24/7 she should be put on a birth control method. just explain to her about std, pregnancy, abortion, adoption, and hopefully she will listen. I lost my virginity at 14, and pregnant at 16 because i didn't want to listen to my mother. Just let her now you are there for her.

Answer 3

Just wonder what happened to you. A 13 year old should not have had the opportunity to sleep with a 18 year old. If it was me i would press charges, to prove a point to the guy that's sleeping with under aged kids is not okay, It would also prove to your daughter that you will not put up with it. If you let her get by with it she will just do it again. Make sure you watch every move she makes now and remember kids will lie to get what they want, she broke the trust. She will also get pissed with you if you follow her around and check up on her. That's part of a parents job she will get over it 10 years from now but she will live. We may not like it but no one is going to watch their back but us. Protect as much as your can for her sake.

Answer 4

Wow 13 is pretty young! It could possibly be considered statutory rape. I would call the local police station & ask about laws concerning it. I have a 16 year old sister who is active (& shouldn't be!) & my dad flipped about her being w/ an 18 year old. He wanted to put the guy in jail but had to check w/ a sheriff first. Turns out in our town it's only rape if one is under 16 & the other is over 21. darn!

Answer 5

Well,It maynot be the boys fault she may have lied abouther age.Many guys get caught for this and get in big trouble because-alot of 13-16 year old girls will put on alot of make up,some highheels,and a push up bra,and watlz in a bar looking like shes 20.Of course she gets picked up by a older experienced guy,and has the time of her life.When mommy poo finds out she can cry rape."But officer I swore she looked like she was 20!She said....well sh*t."
As for your daughter,let her take a pregnancy test and tell her this(it will make you look like you are on her side a little bit more.)"Sweetie,the police might find out someway and if you two get anycloser it might break your heart if he gets arrested and taken away from you more than if we end this relationship calmly and quietly.I am so sorry,I wish you would have told me earlier,and this wouldnt have been so hard.I know hes the nicest guy that you've ever been with,but,because of his age you two can't do this.I know you love him,but this is illegal."

Answer 6

Ya'll people are killin me with this call the police Bs. Havent you ever heard you cant rape the willing?? If you called the police he would go to jail most likely get time a few years because your daughter feels she has to have sex at 13 . At 13 I was playing softball not *******.

Answer 7

Okay. Follow these steps.

1) Walk to the phone.
2) Dial the number '9'.
3) Dial the number '1'.
4) Dial the number '1'.
5) Have them arrest the boy.

Answer 8

I wouldn't really ask u 2 call police though this is considered a rape case. i think i will talk to her nicely n c how i can solve this relation. i m an educational advisor. I found many teenager r engaged in sexual relation with their bf... I believe there is a way out. I ve helped many families. if u really need someone to talk to feel free to email me at [e-mail] I hope i can help u find a solution. Pray to God...

Answer 9

Mya loo is correct above... and that is comming from a female above. Im a guy well over 18 but being honest here, realistic and rational... Something I doubt you are right now

1.) Morning after pill if nec.
2.) Pregnancy and std check.

3) If the above are clear phew and put her on a depo injection and keep doing it every few months as she is active now (as in 3 month pill).

4) Then do the whole 1001 ways to get pregnant that they did not teach you in school and get REAL GRAPHIC AND DETAILED...

Think guy pulls out you could still be pregnant, standing up, first time, time of month, and even things like if anal butt pushes it out, it could dripple down (its only a couple of inches, smear around underwear get in and get her pregnant...) leave no stone unturned here... Get advice from youth outreach, family planning services etc.

Those are priorities.

Then deal with her sensitively but sorry to say you are not going to like this but its what you need to accept and understand.

Next how much over 18 was the guy and how old be honest here can said girl make herself look.


Hard as it may be for you to believe it maybe possible for someone near 14 to pass themselves off as older say 17 and dupe the guy deliberately as she had a crush on him and he may be horrified.

In fact this is VERY common as the girls want to feel all grown up seeing the power the older girls have but not getting what its all about.

Ie he could have been the lonley nurdy 18.5 year old who had not got a date yet then this girl met him who really liked him, thinking she seemed young but did not think she was that young situation.

In the uk the age on consent along with other countries is 16 not 18 and if she could pass herself off (Girls do,do that) as 16 its possible that this just happened and can be ended and the guy would be on your seide.


Or he could have been a 'virgin surgion notch on bedpost jerk' asshole still thinking she was a little older but more asshole then pervert.


Or a pervert who deliberately manipulated said girl and does it on a regular basis, knowing full well her age, especailly if she is older...And a clear danger to others...

Whilst the above two are not so much dangers.


So what I am saying is switch off the emotions, calm down and work out the truth of what has been going on however uncomfortable it may be. Especailly as daughter thinking she is in deep doo doo, may blaim it all on the guy when she was the one who orcestrated the whole thing and will do again as soon as the dust is settled.

If the guy is the pervert type then get him arrested... if asshole type thinking more like a thrashing and hanging by ankles off the edge of a dam till he begs for life and honestly peeing himself swears never to do such a thing again.

Also bear in mind how you deal with the daughter... As she is VERY immature, packed with hormones and with very strong emotions...who may do something real stupid if she thinks you are attacking the one she thinks she loves or splitting apart so may try taking a leaf out of Romeo and juliet and try and kill herself or try a suicide pact with him.

So Im saying I know you have blood boiling Im gonner kill him for doing my sweet innocent daughter.

But Im saying its better to think with your head and handle this right as what you do if you do it wrong could forever destroy your relationship with your daughter who will never trust you ever again and possible run away and end up on the streets say if you killed her boyfriend... Only there she WILL meet preditors.

So wisdom over emotion. It must be done in a way that your daughter knows you are trying to protect her. Not boyfriend is the nice guy and you are the psycho.


Tough being a parent especailly when things are not so clear cut and simple when you think about it.


Im not saying its a good and ok thing what has happend... its not.

13 is way too young but 13-14 is often first date time and she will mature rapidly over the next couple of years.

Plus he is way too old for someone that young... If she was 16 and he 21 fine likewise her 20 and him 25 but 19 and 13 no...


Actually let us all know just how old he is.

Answer 10

Your daughter did not do anything wrong. She was the victim of a pedophile, the lowest form of life. Get him off the streets. Call the police and have him charged.

Answer 11

OMG, I understand....first of all take her to a dr to see if she's clean, we dont know this boy's sex history, and I'm sure your girl was not his first. Second talk to her about AIDS and other VD that can be transmitted by having sex, the importance of a condom always....and show her a video of a woman giving birth and tell her that's what happens when you start to live too soon things you cant handle, that'll do it

Eddited to say...have him reported