What would you do?...with a very angry little girl.?

Question

My DD's husband left her for another woman .
The 9 year old daughter is upset, mad and emotionally tied.
Her mother has had it too!
The little girl kicks, screams, yells, and throws things at her Mother.
the Mother tells her to do that to her Dad, he's the one who left! What would you do? (NOTE: little girl is sent to her room alot)

Answer 1

You have to put things on perspective.

Whatever happen to you happened to HER as well. You seem not to understand this.She was also abandoned and she is dealing with her feelings through outburst of anger. You see this as misbehavior or a tantum, but your daughter is breaking down because she is in pain, her daddy left her too, you know. Don't you think she has feelings just as you do?

You are ignoring her feelings and putting your young daugher in pain through your manipulation and guilt trips. Telling her to his his daddy instead is NOT HEALTHY!!!! Please, I urge you to STOP telling her this if you don't want to emotionally scar your daughter for life.

She loves her daddy and you cannot make her feel bad because she does. She misses her daddy and you don't have to make her feel guilty because she does. She loves you both and there is nothing wrong with that. Get over yourself as this is not just about you, is about her as well but you seem not to understand this.

Get her into counseling inmediatly. She doesn't know how to deal with her feelings of rejection and the pain of separation. She nees to heal too and she doesn't know how. She is angry and this is normal, and she needs to learn how to cope and how to express her feelings without the anger.

Please seek help inmediatly and stop the emotional manipulation. Please, is for your child's sake.

Good luck

Answer 2

Okay ...the girl is obviously a little girl. She doesnt understand that adults have issues and problems and move onto another life or whatsoever. You need to spend time and talk to her continously. At the same time dont yell at her but talk to her when she is misbehaving. Tell her thats not the right way to let out her emotions. Sit right there, get at her level, and talk ...talk talk until her ears fall off but explain to her whats going on WITHOUT bad mouthing about her DAd,You or anyone... This is a little girl caught in the middle of a mess. Be patient its very confusing and stressful for an adult, can you imagine for a 9 yr old. If you cant do this or control yourself because you yourself have issues as well, then take her to talk to someone..if you cant afford therapists or what have you, spending time w/a relative that can do this can help as well. As long as someone is talking to her and letting her know that things will get better.

Answer 3

The little girl needs counseling. She has a lot of built up anger in her, and it needs to be dealt with. Spanking her is only going to make matters worse. She's only 9 yrs old and her world as she knows has been turned upside-down. Her mother is hurt, and hateful right now. It would be best for the mother, and the little girl to get into some counseling sessions together also, so they both can learn how to deal with this situation together.

Answer 4

Get your daughter and granddaughter some counseling. Little one is angy, sad and frustrated that her dad left, and her mom is not making it better by telling her to do that to her dad. I can understand both the mother and daughter's reactions, but the mom needs to be the grown-up right now, and be able to treat her daughter with understanding, compassion, and CALM discipline when necessary. Instead, it sounds like they are fueling each other's bad feelings. Your daughter is experiencing a huge disappointment and feelings of rejection, and I think her daughter is seeing that, and identifying with it. Little girls usually do identify with their moms. Having her mother say that to her just makes it seem more like they have BOTH been rejected.

Answer 5

Mom needs to stop saying "Do it to your dad, he's the one who left." Bottom line, this kind of behavior is troubling, and it's unacceptable directed at ANYONE, mom or dad. Second, counseling is in order for mom and daughter. Mom is heading down a path of blaming the father in front of the kids, and that's just wrong. No wonder her daughter is acting out---she's in pain and crying for help.

Answer 6

It sounds like she is depressed, angry, and could have a detacthment disorder. I have a 9 y/o granddaughter who acts the same way. Please take her to see a therapist. School counselors are good too but a therapist if anygood at all can get to the root of the problem. And tell your daughter NOT to tell that child that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

Uhm, what international are you residing in? i've got performed activities maximum of my life and get talked approximately as a lesbian for it each and all of the time, even while i became baby. an mind-blowing form of the females I performed activities with have been given talked approximately as lesbians too, and we gained't ALL be lesbians. issues will ultimately substitute and girls and boys can do in spite of they want and be unfastened to precise themselves.

Answer 8

give her a good old spanking over my knee like she deserves. oh seriously, i would just comfort her and build her happiness again by doing things she likes and keeping her calm (and not giving into her tantrums).

sending her to her room if she doesn't know what's she's doing could just be making it worse. she needs to be talked to and taught what to do for the future.

Answer 9

That's unfortunate, I am sorry to hear it. I'm not sure what I would do. I would suggest looking in to the public schools crisis counselor for her school (assuming she goes to public school). I think they all have them now. They could help.

Answer 10

Therapy. If the child is in school talk to a school counselor.