Should I let my HS "sweetheart" know how I feel about him even though me his married and I have been for 30 yr

Question

We have recently been emailing. I know where he lives but haven't let him know anything (place I live, phone #, etc.). We are both married and have grown up children. I am considering divorce and have been for over a year. Would this be a bad move to let him know I have always thought about him?

I have been staying out of his life. Over the years he has asked for my # countless times, he keeps in touch with my parents and sister, called the hospital when I gave birth to two of my children. I left him with no explaination to him because I had been raped and thought I was pregnant. We never had sex.

Answer 1

I dont agree with these answers. If that guy would leave his marriage to be with you, then that means he perceives himself to be happier with you. There is nothing wrong with the both of you being happy, even if it dissolves a marriage.

Only tell him your feelings, do not push it. And whatever you do, neither of you cheat on your current spouses. you simply let him know that you have feelings for him, but dont pursue if at first he is not interested. you dont want to forcefully break up the marriage, but if he is willing to leave his current one for you then he couldnt have been as happy in that one.

The alternative is not saying anything and spending the rest of your life wondering what might have been

if all of the kids are grown up, you're not splitting up the family too much. like i said, if he doesnt jump at the idea that you like him, dont pursue any farther. just find out to keep you sane and not wondering, and whatever you do, DONT MAKE HIM CHEAT

Ive always believed that if its a good relationship then nothing can disrupt it. if he is happy enough in his marriage, he will not go to you and leave his wife. you cant force people to stay together, its a voluntary thing, and if he really loves his wife hell just refuse you, but at least youll know

Answer 2

I think that if you weren't with your HS sweetheart now, there must have been a reason for that. I don't think you should contract him because apparently he has moved on also.

Don't make a second mistake by taking up with someone you used to know. There must have been something about him you didn't like or want to pursue. Thinking about people is like fantasizing - people do it all the time. It doesn't make it true. Look at how we all like actors & actresses. We sometimes want to be with them also. But you know deep in your heart, it won't happen. Life is like that. Just try to move on.

Answer 3

If u consider divorce, who assures u he will, too? You're not the one to decide a family man's life, so u better stay out of it as u r an outsider, he is married, has a family. Why to destroy all that cause u lately feel lonely and start to think of teenage years?

Answer 4

Sounds like you are going through a mid-life crisis.

Don't do it. Just don't.

Get your feet back on the ground!

Try other things that won't ruin your life like a cruise, a hockey game, a race track, something, anything but doing this.

Your on a runaway train girl. Just make it stop. You can do it and it will only get worse if you don't

If your heart is already aching why make it worse?

Answer 5

Please remember that people change and what both of you were in high school is NOT who you are today. You are being governed by teenage feelings. You've never said if he was in an unhappy marriage, you could cause grief for him if you say something. You say you're considering divorce, you need to get your ducks in a row before you allow anyone else in your life.

Answer 6

Sounds like someones looking for a reason to jump off the train thats already moving. Don't mess up someone else's home because you're unhappy. Leave that man alone.

Answer 7

So you are willing to split up his family? Because you are ready for a divorce DOES NOT mean that he is as well. Think how many lives you are willing to destroy just because you think you MIGHT like to have him back. There are plenty of single men out there, when you get divorced FIND ONE.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

I am in the almost exact situation, do not know what to do either, I would hate to ruin her marrige, but I bet she thinks the same way about me to, if I new she was unhappy, well than I would tell her in a blink of an eye, good luck.

Answer 10

You haven't seen him or spent time with him for 30 years and you want to let him know how you "feel" about him?

Revisiting one's youth is a nice feeling, but unless he tells you he is getting a divorce, keep your mouth shut about your "feelings".