something was being tallied up. it said ball game totals on the top. when i asked him what it was he told me he was keeping a running tally of all the girls he was banging in the dorms. it looked like the count was somewhere around 40 or 50. he said his friends are doing the same thing. how do i address this?
2006-08-01 03:01:11 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It may be too late. This is something that you should have been working on while he was in high school so when he got to college he would be more ethical than this. Try talking to him like a man. See what you can do.. Good luck
2006-08-01 03:06:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is why I hate when they grow up or should I say get old enough 2 not be at home anymore because we all no that college students r far from grown. make sure they have a large(huge) supply of condoms. talk 2 him about how that is really demeaning 2 woman n that he should treat these girls the way he wants 2 be treated (um wait he is a young man all he wants is sex lol)
just keep reinforcing the things u have told him while growing up n know he is making a mistake but hopefully he will get a little more mature n move on.
also go 2 the free clinic n get a much info on STDS as humanly possible. send these along anytime he asks 4 cash or anything else. put them in all his letteres n leave them with ever visit.
good luck dont stress 2 much
2006-08-01 03:12:02 · answer #2 · answered by Lady Geo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he is old enough to know what he is doing, just make sure that he is well protected and gets checked to protect him and the girls he is sleeping with.
I don't believe that people are so narrow minded on this site, is your son really being disrespectful to these girls or are these girls not respecting themselves? These guys in college wouldn't be keeping tally's if girls weren't sleeping with them and had some self respect of their own. These girls are old enough to know what guys the same age want from them, and if they are willing to give it up to these guys then they are the stupid ones and if there is a tally being kept then they are the ones who should be embarrassed about it not the guys. It goes both ways, it is not always the guys who should be blamed for this kind of behaviour, you don't always have to sleep with a guy you can say no and you know what he may respect you more for it one day.
2006-08-01 03:57:06 · answer #3 · answered by auzzimama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I hope he's lying, Mom. He's proably is to some degree. I have a teenage son, and I hope I never ever have this situation to deal with. I would sit him down and have a very long talk with him. There is nothing you can do, because he is of age, but a good old fashion talk can't hurt anything. When we were growing up a shot from the doctor would cure almost everything that we could catch as far as sexually transmitted dieases. These days there is death or herpes that you can't control or get rid of. Make sure for your own peace of mind that he knows about STD and Aids, buy a jumbo box of condoms, and then back off. You can do anymore. I am sorry, but you can't control this, even though you love to..it's on his shouldars. Kids and some adults don't think of sex as we do. A commitment to another person. they have this if it feels good do it attidue...Which I can understand to some degree, but just to be "banging" everything that comes around...no, that's beyond my thinking as I imagine it does yours. I can't think of how much this hurts you, and I know you are scared, but again, Mom, there is nothing you can do to stop it. Unless, you pull the plug on the money if you are paying for college. Which I would do, if he's got all this free time, then he can find a job, and pay for his "education" his ownself. Be sure and tell him to write down dates and names of the girls, because he could be involved in a group just passing around a STD or worse he could father a child with someone. This is heartbreaking, and some people would think "no big deal", but as a Mother I understand your pain, and as a person I am concerned also for these college kids that are ruining their lives.
Praying that you will have a peace that you have done everything possible, and you know it in your heart and your mind. I hope you believe in God, because HE will answer your prayers..God bless us al.............
2006-08-01 03:28:39 · answer #4 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a woman, you should be very offended and as his mother, ashamed that you didn't teach him any better than that. Are you supporting him in college? Because if it was my son acting the fool like that, he wouldn't be getting any more support from me until he straightened his crap out. I'm a guy, not one of the mistreated women, and it offends me this much. You don't need to be gentle "addressing" this.... You need to tell him straight to his face that he is not becoming a decent adult (hell, not even a decent teenager) and that you are sickened by it. If you aren't sickened by it, then it's no wonder he has such a careless attitude about other peoples' emotions and doesn't understand respect. He needs a good old-fashioned country butt whooping is what he needs... You can do that just fine by taking him off your insurance (for his car if he's on yours) and not giving him a damn thing until he learns that it's not a normal human thing to treat other people like dirt. I am sorry for you because I can't imagine this is how you raised him, but does he have a dad who can give him a very stern talking to? Otherwise it's up to you. He is part of what is wrong in this society today. Do what you can to fix him. Just so maybe one less girl will be treated like she's no more important than dirty socks. And yes, I'm sure he'll tell you they don't care, either, but we know girls that age do care and are harmed by guys like him.
2006-08-01 03:17:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you should have addressed it immediately at that time instead..of posting on here. the things that come to mind..is respect... disease..condoms... even him saying banging .. indicates..he has little respect or understanding ofwhat relationships..sex etc is all about. where is mom... or his sisters.. maybe they could express their disgust. with how he is treating fellow females..and if this is the way the females in his life should be disregarded. a high five by the way... means you do not understand the concept of being a man. .. those who consider quanity..a plus.. are lousy at it anyway. tell him also that this is not the reason you sent him to college.. you were hoping for maturity..and find a real man when you came to visit.
2006-08-01 03:17:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as he is an adult, you can't really stop him. But you can tell him how disrespectful he's being to the women that he is choosing to use as points on his board. He might end up really liking one of them only to lose her when she finds out that she was used to gain points in some stupid male competition. You might also give him phamplets on STD and AIDS, and several boxes of condoms. You might also try calling the dean's office to see if they have a regulation preventing this type of thing. Unless you want to get your son in trouble, don't give out any names when you call. If you do find out there is a rule against it, you could tell your son and threaten him with making a phone call.
2006-08-01 03:14:25 · answer #7 · answered by Mary J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is young and he's experimenting. It'a also probably wildly over exaggerated to impress his friends. Frankly, he's an adult now and it's none of your business. If you raised him properly this will be a temporary phase. I think if it were my Son I'd send him a huge box of condoms with a note saying ' Darling, the list was impressive but so are you. Be careful!'.
2006-08-01 10:22:02 · answer #8 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you don't approve, remind him of all the VD out there, plus it's conduct unbecoming of a gentleman, and then butt out.
Hopefully he'll grow a conscious and listen, but if not, well he's an adult now and will have to make his own decisions and deal with the consequences of his actions.
2006-08-01 03:11:01 · answer #9 · answered by Princess J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Such a shame, that sex is a game to him and his friends, though certainly not uncommon. Warn him of the dangers of unsafe sex and remind him that some time in the future he will meet a woman with whom he wishes to spend his life. If he treats women with such a cavalier attitude, it will be a difficult habit to break.
2006-08-01 04:04:02 · answer #10 · answered by rrrevils 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋