been going out wit guy for 2 1/2 years now, had a bad history with him...abused me, cheated on me, has no respect for any women. But i fell in love with him then.... now I want to go away and start living my great live( im 20) but on the other hand i dont want to go, cause i know he needs me cause he has no one else cause of his behavior.He is kinda like my comfort zone. im a strong person, but this kinda gets me down, especially when im in a good mood(like i always am) and he brings it down with his anger, childishness or irritating sarcasm. he wants to go to iraq cause heis father organised work for him there and im studying beauty care and health and aromatherapy and im working 8-5 every day.... so i got alot of stress actually and i dont need this **** from him any longer. hi jealous, never laughing, and hates it when i talk to people in town-cause then he says that im having an affair with some1.please help, dont know what 2 do anymore. PS. my parents dont like him.This IS SERIOUS
2006-08-01 02:46:03 · 35 answers · asked by Charlene 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Obviously you don't seem happy with this jerk. This guy doesn't sound like a good comfort zone!!! You need someone who makes you laugh and never cry, one who whispers in you ear and not yell in your face, one who treats you like a lady and not like an object. My advice is to leave him. You sound like a very energetic and positive person and this guy is draining all of that from you with his childlike behavior and immaturity. Since you are a strong person then you are strong enough to leave him. now with wourk you are going to need someone who supports you and this jerk doesnt look like he is going to. Leave him mami. God Bless
2006-08-01 02:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by Puma 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are co-dependent. Do some research on this. This is not a relationship, you are being a caregiver and thats not love. If we rely on others for our happiness then we are in a tough spot. If they are not happy, then we are not happy. We have to create our own happiness and we are responsible for that. You have to define who you are and not allow others to have that responsibility. Get to know yourself, love yourself and you will become picky about who is in your life, because you will know you deserve the very best. You cannot fix a broken person, no matter how hard you try. Approx, 95 percent of these kind of people will not change, 5 percent is not very good odds. So visualize the rest of your life like this, not to pretty huh. We cannot fix people, they have to make that decision. If you reach for change, someday you will look back at this and think "what the heck was I thinking". Your parents and friends love you and have every reason to feel dislike towards your boyfriend. What if this was your daughter, would you want her in this relationship? We all dream of happiness for our children and those we love. We should wish the same things for ourselves. A good therapist could help you out with this. Do a search for the "popcorn machine parable"...
peace to you...
2006-08-01 02:55:39 · answer #2 · answered by debbyboop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Young lady, if what you love fails to sustain you, find something else to love. You are in no way obligated to tend to anyone's bruised psyche or repair damage you didn't create. And if you can recognize emotional insecurity as such ( and it seems you can), you can also steer yourself clear of it. Jealousy and controlling behaviors have nothing to do with love, and everything to do with insecurities; add to that a lack of respect and you've got a completely distasteful combination. Here's where I got a little bit lost: What about this guy did you find even remotely comforting when you described him as your "comfort zone"? The abuse and cheating alone are irrevocable grounds for him to be gone, so what's the missing element that endears him to you? ( I can understand your parents not liking him; I've never even met him and I don't like him, either). What do you intend to do? You've already got a firm handle on all of the facts. Good luck.
2006-08-01 03:12:56 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE NOW!! Don't ever return. You are not Mother Teresa and you can't change someone. This is a road to more destructive behavior. He is just testing you. He beats you but then he shows you attention. He is trying to see how far he can go and he knows now that you are willing to put up with it. He is pychopathic and has deep issues.
You need to be very careful when you leave, it will not be easily recieved by him and he may try to hurt you. If you have to, go to the police and ask them to escort you out. Get a restraining order, I now everyone says that won't stop him but he even tries at least they can look him up. You are in pretty deep. I hate to scare you but your parents may be in danger as well. If he feels that they inflluenced you to leave, him may retalitate against them. Oh you poor thing. I have a friend that always seems to date "damaged goods" and she thinks she can change them. She will even tell you, you can't change what doesn't want to change. Tell him to go to Iraq, he will be the best thing for him.
Good luck and be CAREFUL!
2006-08-01 02:58:10 · answer #4 · answered by pirategurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you really have a problem. A problem that can be solved in a simple way. End the "relationship" that you have with him.
Don't this answer everything. "he has no one else cause of his behavior". So you are going to be the one to put up with his ****. Just because he can't get anyone else. I wonder why he can't get anyone else.
Maybe he will find someone in Iraq that will put up with his bullshit.
Like you said you are 20 years old. You have your ENTIRE life ahead of you. You are bound to find Mr. Wonderfully Right soon enough.
2006-08-01 02:55:15 · answer #5 · answered by Dwayne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are Not strong like you state if you where you would realize that he's not worth it. This so called man to me is a P**** to hit and abuse a woman and still want to call yourself a man. Let him go up against a real man see if he doesn't run like a Boy. You on the other hand needs to leave this Stupid relation. Your Parents are right by hating Him !!!!!
2006-08-01 02:54:31 · answer #6 · answered by EL Big Ed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have told us all these negative things about this guy. He brings you down, is always negative and irritating. Why are you even contemplating allowing this guy to be in your life? You want to stay in his life because everyone else has left him? You need to stop feeling sorry for this guy because he is not feeling sorry for you. From what you have said it is very obvious the only person he cares about is himself. You do not need this guy in your life because he does not care about you. He will just continue to bring you down. Move on and forget him! He is DEFINITELY not worth it!
2006-08-01 03:01:39 · answer #7 · answered by strawberries 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are so young to be stuck with a loser like that. you don't love him, you are just comfortable with him. no matter how bad he treats you he is consistent in his treatment. take it from someone who has been where you are...leave now before it brings you down to the point that you believe you don't deserve any better. i know it's hard to leave but unless you want a worse life with him than you have now, you had better cut your losses. there is a reason why you date someone like him, if you don't figure out what that reason is you will surely date another "him". good luck in your life and be happy
2006-08-01 02:57:13 · answer #8 · answered by notyours 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him go to Iraq but don't go with him
forget about him & move on b/c he is not worth it
what kind of a lover is like that no matter what the circumstances
& im sure u deserve a better guy so dump him hunny or u will regret it..just let him go..
wish u all the best
2006-08-01 02:52:07 · answer #9 · answered by luvs2play06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, you know you need to get out of that.
Let me tell you, my mom has been in one bad relationship after another. The signs are clear and they (normally) never change unless they have some spiritual intervention. (Which comes from within, nothing you can do or say.)
Live your life and not in fear.
Good wishes. :)
2006-08-01 02:53:00 · answer #10 · answered by KittyKattsMeow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋