How do I ask my daughter, age 15 (who I am having a lot of trouble with since she moved in with her father) if she stole a shirt from my step-daughter, age 13 (that she got for her birthday) without causing more trouble with my daughter. My daughter doesn't live with me anymore since I have too many rules for her taste, but everytime she comes home something of my step-daughters winds up missing. I am almost 100% sure that she took it. It is superman stuff and it only goes missing when my daughter is here. I don't know what to do.
2006-08-01 02:16:23 · 17 answers · asked by Leslee L 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
My daughters father and I do not get along thanks to him and my daughters are fine when they are together. They really get along.
2006-08-01 02:32:28 · update #1
I can't lock my younger daughter's door as they have to share a room.
2006-08-01 02:35:48 · update #2
dont let her in the house untill she spills da beans...*and this is what my mom did to me* once i stole a card from my sister and my mom couldnt get me to confess so she just took me to the police and the police sure did straighten me out. the didnt put me in juvinial but they gave me a good warning.
2006-08-01 02:31:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the child nicely if she knows where it is first. If she gives you an attitude, she has it. Getting it back could be a major problem however. You could ask her father to get it for you. But that would likely fall on deaf ears. I suggest getting your younger daughter a lock on her door.. that has a key. She can wear the key around her neck whenever your older daughter comes to visit. That way nothing can be stolen from her.
You could keep the older child from visiting, but I don't think that is the right idea. Your daughter needs to understand that what she is doing is wrong. You could start checking her bags before she leaves your home. It will send her the message that you know what she is doing and you won't tolerate it. It will also tell the younger child that you do care.
2006-08-01 09:33:00 · answer #2 · answered by Mary J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's a few things---you can be nice and say i think the superman shirt got mixed up with your things last time you were here, and enforce that that could be the only way it went missing...and did not walk out and disappear. then ask--could you please look for it and bring it back next time you visit. and remind her. or you can have her dad search for it. if she denies it, buy your stepdaughter a new shirt---and put a lock on her door. or ya know what? i would start checking her bags before she leaves. and i would let her know ahead of time that due to missing items that you will do so. and i would ask her dad to help you with this. i know you want to respect people's privacies---but she's only 15. stealing is wrong.
2006-08-01 09:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by crazymom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always think the best way to approach this sort of thing is to avoid going in attack mode so that you don't automatically get a defensive reaction and denial.
I would say that you know what she has done and are not angry with her but want to know why she has done it so you can fix the problem.
Good luck!
2006-08-01 09:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by soapybubbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would your daughter take your step-daughters' shirt if they get along fine? Well anyway, just calmly ask "Did you by any chance see so and so's shirt?" Just don't be hard on her.
2006-08-01 14:59:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well don't jump the gun right away. how are the two girls around each other. if not good your step daughter might have put it some wear but if not just ask her politely and see how here attitude is if she get mad she did it, if she ask questions she did it .chances are she did it.
2006-08-01 09:28:36 · answer #6 · answered by mega_2424 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way to ask her w/o causing any ripples. Start doing a bad search when she leaves.
She is going to hate you for doing it and hate you for asking and your step-daughter is going to hate you for letting your daughter take her stuff.....
See this is going to be a no win situation..
Sorry wish i could help!
2006-08-01 09:24:34 · answer #7 · answered by SouthernKNC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the father to ask. If she is stealing, she's probably not only stealing from your step-daughter.
2006-08-01 09:23:37 · answer #8 · answered by someone_unperfect 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on your "relationship" with her father.. (meaning speaking terms or always fighting) I would ask him if he has seen it... explain that it may have ended up in her bag... and I would ask her next time she is over.. Have you seen your sisters shirt? We cant find it anywhere..... and see where it goes.. I wouldnt blame her, ask her for help.. may work
2006-08-01 09:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by kutskova29 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say not to let her anywhere by herself...and put a lock on your step daughters door
2006-08-01 09:55:20 · answer #10 · answered by sjeboyce 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋