I moved to Poland in May and got married in June. I'm Polish, but I have lived in USA my entire life, where as my husband has lived in Poland. I am having the HARDEST time adjusting. I studied in Poland for a semester and I was here for over 5 months last year and I never got homesick except the first week was hard for me to adjust to. The thought of living here forever and being away from my state, family, and friends in USA kills me inside. I have no motivation, I am constantly crying, and I'm afraid of ruining my new marriage. I have tried almost everything what other people advised for homesickness and nothing seems to work, I just end up feeling homesick more. I have friends in the area, it's just not the same. My husband doesn't want to move because he has a wonderful job here, and I have been planning to return to school for dental in usa. What do I do? I can't keep living with this unhappiness and depression, but what do I do when my husband doesn't want to compromise either?
2006-08-01 01:03:00 · 18 answers · asked by BeKnown 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hey babe, listen... I went through the same thing. I moved to Sweden for a girl and it was too much. It ended up destroying our relationship, because.. think about it.. how much pressure does it put on your partner! that they brought you here and you arne't happy. If they care for you in the slightest it will make them crazy, and it will put your relationship WAY out of whack.
So lemme tell you what I did. After one year of hating Sweden more and more each day... I went back to the states, ALONE, for 3 weeks for christmas... I went out every day with my friends for 2 weeks and had a BLAST. then the third week came around... and things started to calm down, and I was like... um... i'm kinda bored now... this is like... this is like how life was for the past 23 years... oh.. um.. ok. I'm ready for Sweden now. So anyway, I got back to sweden, so pumped about the US, like man it was so cool, and they don't do this, or that, and you should TASTE an american double cheeseburger. They're SO much better... and blah blah, BUT.. once I got the angst out of my system, I had new open eyes for Sweden. I was like... hmm, this isn't so bad. It's been 6 months since i've gone back, and I feel great! just don't forget to visit, and get that 'home'sickness out of your system. Otherwise, you'll never be able to appreciate poland. K? Do it. Trust me. I'd reccommend going alone, but I dunno. Maybe it's not possible. Just make sure you talk to your mate, and say you want to visit. He'll be scared that you won't want to come back since you've hated it so much in poland. But promise him and yada yada. Your relationship is on the rocks and you need to go back to get it out of your system. It works wonders. Before Icouldn't WAIT to get back, now I'm staying for who knows how long. Good luck girl. Isn't yahoo answers great? Kisses
2006-08-01 01:11:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like you have more than just homesickness to me. It sounds to me like clinical depression - The first thing you should do is go to the doctor and get medication / counseling.
About the homesickness, probably the reason you are feeling it so strongly now is because you are feeling how permanent the changes you have made are. Lots of people feel a bit trapped after they get married - you've not only gotten married, but moved away from everyone and everything you know and you see no end in sight. The best thing to do is to take things one day at a time. Don't think about "the rest of your life" in Poland. Think about getting through today only. And tomorrow, think about tomorrow only, and so on. Give it a reasonable amount of time (1 year). If you are still so unhappy, go home. If your husband loves you, and sees that you have tried for a year and are still miserable, he will go with you. If he doesn't go with you then maybe he isn't the right one for you after all.
2006-08-01 01:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by Eileen D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feeling Homesick After Marriage
2017-01-14 03:17:15 · answer #3 · answered by kadlec 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same way when my husband and I first got married. He made me move but not as far as you. Only to another state. It was awful at first and still is 10 months later. I hate it here, impossible to find a decent job or friends. At least you have some friends, I don't even have that. We are living in his home town and all his friends wives and mean to me. Never include me in anything and when I see them they might as well ignore me. So you are lucky in that way. I was crying all the time. I don't think I ever cried that often my entire life. I even had a little towel I called my crying rag! I am still a little depressed about this whole thing. We were going to move somewhere else but he just got a promo at work so we are staying! I miss my entire family and they won't visit because they don't want to invade our newlywed faze. I think the best thing for the both of you is to take a vacation together if you can. Go camping for the weekend or something to get your mind off of it. That helped me a lot. I am sure that there are several people that are going through this and it just is going to take some time. I am sure that it is going to get better for the both of us. You should check out www.thenest.com they have some good articles on there.
2006-08-01 01:13:23 · answer #4 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go where your heart tells you to go. If you miss your friends and family, than maybe a visit to the USA can help make things better. If you are depressed and unhappy, than you should find what makes you happy. You're feeling Homesick, because you are not around the people that you want to be. You miss them, and love them. Friends and family are very prescious and no one wants to be away from the people that care about you. Your husband should understand this. You took a chance to adjust for him, If he loves you, than maybe he can take the time to try to adjust for you and to see if it would work for him over the USA. If you both take chances, you never know what could happen! Maybe the best can happen. Life is a mystery, and something good will take place around the corner, you may just have to take the first step to get something going. Don't be afraid, and make the step. Everyone will understand.
2006-08-01 01:15:45 · answer #5 · answered by Blazes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Philippines Overseas Foreign Workers (OFWs) These migrant workers who go overseas number by the thousands and bring into the country remittances amounting to many millions of pesos. They search for a better life not only for themselves but also the families they leave behind. The physical distance takes a toll because Filipinos, given a choice, would really much prefer to have their families with them. They are clannish and enjoy the company of their family, relatives and friends. It is not surprising that the main complaint is homesickness- for the people they love who are back home and also the carefree way of life among the people they care for. If given a choice, they would much prefer to be working back in their country. Unfortunately, the high unemployment rate is the very reason driving these workers to seek for greener pastures abroad. People from other cultures have a different way of life. Most of the people you come across are also overseas visitors who are tourists. They enjoy sightseeing and the like because it's only for a short time. Most are on holiday and not working so they are out to enjoy themselves. You have to admire and thank the OFWs for their great sacrifice. They work hard and are lonely yet they strive very hard so they can give their families a better future.
2016-03-16 10:21:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, maybe a quick visit home may help.. Now, I was a wanderer since a young age. Following the Grateful Dead all over the U.S. Moving down to Floriada for the winters in the blink of an eye.. Everyone in my family thought I would be the one to move away... Myself included.. My friends called me the "Well Traveled Bum". But when I was on these adventures I knew I would always return home and now that I have settled down, married and started a family, I am less than 5 mi. from my parents. Now my brother and sister are in West Varginia and Texas. I thought they'd never leave home.. It devestated me, as I hoped the family would always be together. Friends and lovers come and go, but family is forever. Now your new husband is your new family, and time will help.. I strongly suggest using the computer to keep intouch with family.. E-mail and instant messaging are great and with a few web-cams you could even have video and audio chat.. These would make great gifts for your friends and will almost force them to use them to stay intouch with you.. Now that you are married there is a finality to the move, not like when you were in school and you knew you would go home.. That is why you feel the way you do. Time and a good shoulder to cry on will help here. Starting a family with children will really give you less time for that mind to wander but I don't think this should be the main reason to go and get pregnant.. I am sorry I am all over the place here but I just woke up.. Your question grabed me because I know how I as well as my parents and other siblings miss our brothe and sister that have moved.. My older sister Katie just had her second baby, I mean 3 days ago and it kills me that I can't be there to share that joy.. My little brother who I used to chase home when we were kids is now to frar away and I don't want to chase him anymore.. I want to be with him, go fishing, take my dad to Notre Dame games with him, etc.. So, you are not alone, and you can get intouch with me through my 360 page anytime you need to chat. Good Luck
2006-08-01 01:07:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
YIKES...
Didn't you talk about what his plans were AFTER you married?
It's seems that this is a common problem... especially for the woman. All plans are geared toward the WEDDING DAY.. (and night)... without a though about the morning after.
Part of the 18 month MINIMUM courtship/engagement... should be trying to learn WHAT expectations are... and what happens THEN.
Certainly your new husband (polish or not) should be able to appreciate that he's uprooted you... no?
2006-08-01 01:09:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try these and let me know if it works
1) Spend much time with your husband
2) Do things to keep him happy.
3) Keep in touch with your friends by e-mail and other modes of communication
4) Invite your friends to Poland to spend some time
5) Invite your parents to stay with you
6) Deliver a baby and then you will start crying that you don't get time.
2006-08-01 01:08:32 · answer #9 · answered by Govinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good lord look at how fine you are! divorce, move home, go to dental school, and start a new life. don't waste years of your life, get old, and then complain that you can't find anyone once this marriage fizzles out anyway.
2006-08-01 05:02:38 · answer #10 · answered by tomh311 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋