I have been with my partner on and off for 10 years. He has hit me, cheated on me, left me home alone for days on end, etc, etc,.... We split up for two years, 6 wks after i had our daughter and i got myself back, if you know what i mean, (self confidence etc), then we got back together and he has tried really hard to change, i'll give him that, but he found out i went with someone else when we broke up and for 5 wks i suffered violent and mental abuse from him. Now we've split again and i'v become hard towards him again and can easily live without him but he's making me feel guilty because he says he's hurting and i don't even care about him and that i'm a hard faced ***** now and he doesn't know who i am anymore. He keeps saying i'll get whats coming to me because someone will eventually get me back 4 being the way i am now but i'm only like it with him. Should i go back to him and try and be what he wants me to be? and am i a bad person for being so hard faced towards him?
2006-08-01 00:55:58 · 17 answers · asked by Kerry B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Remember how good it felt when you split up to find yourself again. If you get back together with him you will risk loosing yourself for good at some point. Also, do you want your child to grow up thinking this is how relationships should be???.
Don't let him make you feel guilty for anything, he is in control of his own feelings, and you are of your's. You can't make him feel anything, he does that to himself.
Get on with your life and find yourself again, find some true happiness, and get to know yourself, what you really like, what you want to do. And be with someone who will let you be yourself, not the persn they want you to be.
BE HAPPY........for you and your child.
2006-08-01 01:04:43 · answer #1 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Read what you have written about how he has treated you. What advice would you give to anyone under the same circumstances? Would you call anyone a bad person for getting out of such a situation? Right...
Now give yourself a good dose of common sense, he will never treat you right, and will continuously twist your words make you feel guilty. Don't be a victim of your own stupidity.
Move away to somewhere he will not find you. If neccessary take the drastic action and change your name. Find a job and interests where you will meet people There are organisations to help you, such as the domestic violence helpline 0808 200 247. You have a child to consider. Make it your business to give her a good childhood, which does not include her father.
Never feel guilty for a second. The relief you will feel will be worth it in the end. Good luck to you and don't give up on yourself and what you know is the right thing to do.
2006-08-01 08:24:07 · answer #2 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously - he has completley brain washed you mate, you have your own mind and be strong, it is him making you feel like this NOTHING to do with you. TRUST ME the only thing good for you is to get away from this nasty man who is making you feel so bad, guily is such a horrid feeling and it is not fair for him to make you feel this way when you rewally have done nothing wrong.
Good for you if he thinks you are being hard faced towards him so what and if you have split from him again the last thiung you want is for him to think you still care as he want you to so he can get his manipulating claws into you again.
Just change your phone numbers if he is the one contacting you and saying these things, you do not need to hear them - look after number one, and don't let him make you feel this way its HIS problem not yours.
Hope things work out
Leah x
2006-08-01 08:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by mouthwash44 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's manipulating you, trying to guilt trip you so it's all your fault. Just ask yourself, were you the violent one? Were you mentally abusive? Did you leave as soon as you had a child? No to all of these. Get him out of your life and forget about him, and don't even entertain the idea of changing to fit in with what he wants. Be strong for you and your child and good luck to you.
2006-08-01 08:24:11 · answer #4 · answered by fishy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him be, rebuild your confidence, love your daughter and move on with your life. Seek legal advice on custody and visitation arrangements for your daughter and never look back.
You put your heart and soul into something which he soured and neglected, you gave him chances he did not deserve and he blew it again. He should be seeking help for his anger issues but that is not your concern so long as it does not affect your daughter.
You have done nothing wrong and should not feel bad. Anyone who tries to make you feel bad cannot possibly care for you the way you should be cared for.
2006-08-01 08:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by leahtastic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noone should be treated like that but only you can make the final decision take care .
Dont feel guilty for anything you choose to do you need happiness as well as your child.
2006-08-01 08:06:49 · answer #6 · answered by SEAN S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO you're not a bad person. Make your and your daughter's life better, forget about him. If he has used violence against you, if I were you, I'd keep my daughter away from him, period. Not selfish, not hard on him, just the only right thing for the child.
2006-08-01 08:01:43 · answer #7 · answered by AlphaOne_ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey , what you have to do is ... look back in the past , what have you learnt from that over 10 years time ? do you want your life to be just like that time ? you ....... who onece strongly walked away from it ........from all of these experience you should know what you have to do .........
he still couldn't change , over 10 years time , very long time ,how many times you have to give him chance ? you gave him enough to make decision
choose the best for your self and your kid
2006-08-01 08:21:37 · answer #8 · answered by LANNA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him, he's mental. Make a life for yourself and one without him.
2006-08-01 07:59:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please, for your own safety, don't go back to him. Put it behind you, move (if you can) and make a new life for yourself and your daughter. You will find someone else who's right for you!
2006-08-01 08:00:44 · answer #10 · answered by The Findleys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋