the latest of only 6 poems i've wrote (=o( please comment on it, and if you can find the time, comment on the others here, thank you!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArFCx7bcmX25QnIvwWjWetzsy6IX?qid=20060731144015AAVUXHQ
So you’ve been gone for just over a day,
Can I cope in the time you’re away?
We’ve known each other for so little time,
But I already wish that you would be mine.
The fact that me and you, can never be,
Has not yet really had an affect on me,
You have already brought back to me my faith,
And I know, that I cannot change fate.
I really hope, that you’ll always be here,
Although I know that you’re not really near,
How I feel for you, is merely a sin,
The deepest in love, I’ve ever been.
I know you’re not mine, but my pain has gone,
You’re still my friend, so I feel I have won,
You ended my tears, my tears of sadness,
And now I cry tears, of only happiness.
I never intended, to feel this way,
But my love gets stronger, for you every day
I know you don’t love me, but I smile still,
Cause you know I love you, and always will.
2006-07-31 23:13:06 · 16 answers · asked by ugh 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
the poem you wrote is very touching and it is straight to the point about a boy who didn't feel the same way about you and it is sad.At least you can be friends don't lose that as you would hurt so much as you have written this poem about him.
keep up the poetry you feelings are so true when you write.
2006-07-31 23:28:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This will absolutely make me unpopular however it is actual. I continually wish the reality, however I wish it to make feel. Some of the individuals I have met right here provide what I anticipate is good-that means recommendation, however their recommendations could wreck the poem in innumerable methods. If I had been much less skilled and not more proficient, I could no longer discover this hectic, however I ceased being green years in the past. If anyone does no longer just like the poem's thought or language, I could like to listen to why. If anyone thinks the syntax is strained, inform me why. But you'll greater recognize what it's you are speaking approximately, seeing that I have got to be in a position to be trained some thing from you in the event you present recommendation. Unfortunately, that hardly ever occurs until I have the well fortune to capture Hypocorism in an off second and he stops to investigate and reply. If you favor what I write and want to praise me, that is ok. If you definitely present a concept that's good-proficient, even greater. If you present me rubbish that demonstrates not anything however how little care you are taking with phrases and propose I do the equal, then disgrace on you. Tact may be very primary, do not get me incorrect. But ultimately, I'd like to look a few good-proficient evaluation of poems and considerate recommendations. I've given greater than my percentage, and now I will wait to look what number of others can, or will, comply with. How's that for reality?!
2016-08-28 14:39:59 · answer #2 · answered by sykes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like an experimental poem, because it doesn't have enough emotion. No offense, but it seems like a little kid wrote it.
Although I did like the way you expressed how much you love this guy? girl? animal? It's simple. Sounds like you had one thought, then added a bunch of others for the benefit of rhyming. You should try acknowledging details that are dim to most people.
2006-07-31 23:35:27 · answer #3 · answered by WM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two stanzas in and you already feel like you can relate to it. I love the lines "How I feel for you, is merely a sin, the deepest in love, I've ever been," and "I know you're not mine, but my pain has gone, you're still my friend, so I feel I have won."
My favourite is the last stanza. I can relate to that in a strong way.
2006-07-31 23:17:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've only been away for a day,
never knew you had so much to say.
If only I had knew them before,
you would have known that my feelings for you are just as strong.
That I'll be away can never changed
but how I feel for you will always be the same.
:-)
2006-07-31 23:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by TK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very romantic in a unrequited love sort of way. It's almost lonely, while pining for the one she can never have.
I also like the other two. (one more than the depressing one)
2006-07-31 23:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thumbs up to you! I think you have done a wonderfull job writting this poem. Keep up the good work kiddo.
2006-08-01 01:46:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it... except for the last line of stanza 4
2006-08-01 00:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by Sandra G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yak i hate these kind of emotional poems,ITS JUST VERYYY BAD I WOULD LIKE TO SPIT ON IT.Feel sorry for writting this poem.
2006-07-31 23:21:38 · answer #9 · answered by baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was a very lovely poem. I like it very much.
2006-07-31 23:17:40 · answer #10 · answered by sunniej1977 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋