Really fed up and down today, anything to cheer me up?? Thanks?

Answer 1

Here's some handy tips for everyday.

Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment, always circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that
it has gone.

Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.

Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

Always poo at work, not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.

Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate
bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f**king thing in the first place, you fat bastard.

Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The morning after, you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.

Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.

Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.

Anorexics. When your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cakes again.

An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken steroids by running a bit slower.

Smokers. Save on matches and lighters, by simply lighting your next *** from the butt of your last one.

Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know the difference.

Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.

Give comics that 'Pulp Fiction' feel by reading the last frames of
cartoons first, and then read the rest in random order.

High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your roof.

Nissan Micra drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgems anyway, so it may as well look like one.

A mouse trap placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.

Avoid bickering and petty arguments by immediately punching anyone with whom you disagree.

Fool next door into thinking you have more stairs than them by banging your feet twice on each stair.

At supermarket checkouts a Toblerone box makes a handy 'Next customer Please' sign for dyslexic shoppers.

Girls. Don't worry about a nice dress for that important first date. All he's interested in is seeing you starkers.

Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the
fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

HOUSEWIVES. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.

DON'T INVITE DRUG ADDICTS round for a meal on Boxing Day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.

Answer 2

When I am fed up I try to think about my blessings. It could be something simple like good health or someone you love.
Try writing them down as you think of them and then every time you feel low, look over them again!
Sometimes doing something for someone else makes you feel better! Buy some flowers for your Mother / Sister / Girlfriend / Friend!

Answer 3

save attempting the sling. it is going to save your sanity. LOL At this age she is merely too youthful to be crying to administration. She merely feels secure at the same time as she is with mommy and that is okay. They dont' do not forget that they're a separate individual from you until eventually 18-24mo. And once you leave she would not recognize the position you bypass. with suggestions from training her that you're the following for her, she will develop into an self sustaining, healthful baby. My DS did not like laying down in the sling yet loved to be in a kangaroo carry the position he ought to verify out. Now that he's older, I positioned him in a hip carry. it ought to easily take you a touch practice to get her able she somewhat likes. then you somewhat can attempt wearing her until eventually she falls asleep and then putting her in her mattress once she is somewhat out. also, practice new positions in the sling at the same time as she is properly-fed and in a sturdy mood. for sure once she receives used to the sling you should use all of it the time. yet once you're both learning what works for you do it at the same time as she is chuffed. she will advance out of this. I promise! Do you've a hoop sling or a pouch type? i will positioned some links below.

Answer 4

Take the day off. Go for a nice long lunch in the open air with someone you love. (if you don't have an other half bring your mammy she'd love it, and you'd be happy to see how happy she was) Finish off the day with a few well deserved drinks. (I said a few mind you, drink would only make you more depressed) I think you are spending too much time thinking of yourself.

Answer 5

Well, if you want cheering up, read some of the fantastic responses people get to their questions. You will have a good old fashioned giggle by yourself.

Answer 6

Yes , if you watch the folk on the Jeremy Kyle , Trisha Goddard ,and the Gerry Springer shows on the morning T V , you will realise you life isn,t so bad after all , - hope this helps you

Answer 7

why don't u watch a funny movie or hang around with ur buddies. they're bound to cheer u up. don't stay alone at home. that'll get u more down. get some company.

Answer 8

Look in the morror - and say. "I can look happier than that gink".

Ask these Qs. Where are the Andies ? On the end of the Wristies.

What do you give a girl who has got everything ? Disinfectant.

Are you feeling better now ?????? Do hope so .........

Answer 9

I would have suggested you read inspirational books but since you said you are fed up and down, try listening/watching inspirational Tapes, C.D and D.V.D's(preferably christian journals).

Answer 10

Yes I am going getting my cup final tickets Yipeeeeeeeeeeeee

Answer 11

get online...book a holiday to trek around europe with some friends for the next 6 months, travel, visit learn...live....worked wonders for me....very inspirational