This woman had born a baby.. I am married with my hubby for nine years and had kids. I cant bear to breakmy family. but this woman also do not want to give up..What am i suppose to do?? I had think of divorce which this woman had been waiting for so long. Please help...
2006-07-31 20:01:22 · 7 answers · asked by sun 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it's not up to her to decide to end her relationship with your husband. Maybe you're focusing on her too much. It's your husband who must make that decision, and I hope he makes the right decision.
What do you feel for your husband? Do you want to continue with him because you're afraid of breaking up? Or do you still love him and are willing to forgive him? Have you talked with him about it? Maybe you're terrified about it, but you can consider telling him that he must make a decision.
Good wishes
2006-07-31 20:09:55 · answer #1 · answered by Roberto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband had a baby with another woman he has been involved with for six years? You don't want a divorce because you have been together nine years and have children? You just found all of this out? Is that correct? The only thing you can do is seek counseling and/or find a support group for yourself to cope with this new situation.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com
2006-08-01 03:08:26 · answer #2 · answered by jd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your future lie's in what you chose for your family to be! You chose this man now u walk hand in hand! she may have a child w/ your "hubby", But you can not stricken that baby from his/her Father! every child on earth dont ask to be born but they are brought here on the parents belifes and approval, This baby does not deserve to be a tug of war! Your husband who you married,- You took vow's to become "one" for your "family" as this baby should be exsepted into your life as well for being his wife but not to stand in the way of your hubby being that "father" figure. But as to the EX, thats why we have court systems, neither parent can hold a child from the other, the Ex has nothing to do w/ your hubby anymore but a child in common. that child needs a mother and a father as long as neither are setting a bad type life style, When you have children you live for only your childrens best intrest and not what the feelings maybe between the adults. If she is harrassing you there are law's for that. This woman can not harm the love you and your hubby hold togather for your family now, all she can do is be that wedge! what you and your hubby have built togather will remain togather, if he loved his ex in the way he loves you, He would have left a long time ago hun, Nothing in life is easy but that Ex will never get back the man you have growen to love and marry and share a "family" with.
his ex will always be in your face because she still wants what she messed up on! And reality the ex dont care if she uses the child as the "rope" either, and sad to say if thats not corrected by your hubby this may back fire hard in your face because in your eyes this is unexceptable, but your hubb has 4 fights infront of him and 1 is your emotions and feelings- His childrens best intrest- The Ex makeing it hard just for spite-and his own mind. He needs your hand as his wife to stay strong as he will fight for you to. but any parent if made to choose between the child or the love of a partner most would take their children hands down. "and that is good" but he has hell enough from the Ex, hes gunna need to lean on you. but there should never be a time where she the ex calls upon your hubby for a situation reguarding the child- You should always be welcome from his mouth to dress your children and go see what help needs to be done w/ her and the baby, but if she stress's you both to where your at eachothers necks day in and out- some dissision has to be resolved and court will help that. dont worry hun! if you can marry him you must love/trust him 100%, he will not fail you or your children.
2006-08-01 03:46:09 · answer #3 · answered by BETTER_CALL_IT . 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't you breaking up your family- your husband has already done that. By divorcing him you protect your assets (for yourself and your kids.) Let her have him.. minus all assets.
You said she doesn't want to give him up.. you didn't say what HE wants to do at all.. I assume he is continuing to see her.
If he Has cut off all relations with her, and she continues to be a pest then go to court and get a restraining order.
Also, take over all financial responsibilities so you know exactly where all money goes.
2006-08-01 04:31:47 · answer #4 · answered by llazyiest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curb. He is not there for you anyway.(Not in the way you need him) If he is not willing to change then you make the change. There are other fish in the sea out there and they will treat you better. I would never stay with a man who cheats on me. I deserve better and so do you.
2006-08-01 03:06:16 · answer #5 · answered by truckermama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where does your husband stand on the issue? Its really his call and is more about him giving her up, if he does she doesn't really have any choice in the matter. Personally I think you are crazy for staying but thats your call, maybe you like living a lie and being treated like crap, you must.
2006-08-01 03:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are his legal wife, she isn't. She isn't entitled to anything you have or that he has. If she doesnt give up and if HE doesnt want to give her up, i would divorce him and let him have her. he has been with her for 6 years and had kids with him??? That's awful. Just make sure that when you get your attorney and file for your divorce, let them know about her, and take his hide for all it's worth. That's adultry and you will get his house, kids, spousal support, you name it. He deserves this, and if i were you i would take him for what it's worth doing that to you.
2006-08-01 03:07:06 · answer #7 · answered by Tracey E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋