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Since I started dating my now husband, he has been looking (and at times paying) for online porn...we met each other online 3.5 years ago and got married about 8 months ago...

Anyways...he always watches porn when I'm not around, even in the beginning when he said watching porn was no big deal...if it wasn't a big deal, why hide it?? I always asked him to stop and he always lied to me and said he had stopped...so all this time I've been putting and taking away the trust....he already knew from the beginning that I have a very hard time trusting people...well, from what he says, the reason why he did it was that every time I used to piss him off with something that I said (like calling him "stupid") he waited until I wasn't home and went to see porn...he supposedly saw porn because he wanted me to find out later, whenever I went to use the laptop...I have been trying to find out the REAL reason why he looks so much at it...I think he's plain weak and can't admit to it. Watcha think?

2006-07-31 19:28:53 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

I have watched porn with him before and he said he wanted me stop watching so it wouldn't rotten my soul...only his...what the hell, man? Anyways...I stopped watching it with him cause I thought it would only make it worse and the respect would be less...

2006-07-31 19:46:46 · update #1

The big issue is not even the porn anymore...it's how he can lie to me, looking into my freakin' eyes! What I knew what was coming is that not only I don't trust him AT ALL but he avoids talking about it. I also don't feel like having sex with him anymore...that is a major problem in a relationship...we all need sex!

2006-07-31 19:51:09 · update #2

13 answers

Don't let him blame it on you. It has nothing to do with you. He simply has a problem with porn. But porn is a sin and can lead to adultery or other things. Better deal with it right away.

2006-07-31 19:32:45 · answer #1 · answered by moondrop000 5 · 0 2

I don't think this sounds like a good foundation, especially for a newly married couple. he should respect you and if this is something that you are not happy with, he should not be doing it. I wouldn't care for it nor understand the need. He is being disrespectful of you and mean by doing it to piss you off. I am sorry but you don't do that to someone you are supposed to respect and love. I would have a hard time trusting someone that would do that to me. Especially when they lie about it..once would be enough for me. Sorry. I wish the best of luck to you. Maybe you two could try couples counseling to see what the underlying issue is and why he feels the need to do this to you. There is a reason why he not only does that to you but why he has a need for it anyway. Honestly there is usually a reason and from a very good source I have heard that when men do this it is a form of aggression towards women, I am not meaning you necessarily but women in general. I don't know I could be way off base but it just don't seem right to want to hurt your spouse, especially after just a few months. Best of luck to you.

2006-08-01 02:37:03 · answer #2 · answered by racerx 1 · 0 0

men watch porn because they are more visual than women. thats a long ago proven fact. he probably didn't tell you he was watching it because he knew you would get mad. If you have a trust issue as you say you do, please seek counseling, that can be a problem in any relationship. most things are o.k in moderation, if he's watching porn so much that it affects relationships, work, or daily living, he should seek counseling. also, try watching it with him and talk about it...you might enjoy it too.

2006-08-01 02:39:44 · answer #3 · answered by Duckjuice3 3 · 0 0

I think he is using you as an excuse to watch porn. Like you put a gun to his head and made him watch it? lol He is probably watching it cause he enjoys it. Some men are into that. I would have a problem too though if he was lieing about it. That is a trust issue.He needs to be open and honest .

2006-08-01 02:35:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If you stopped making such a big deal about it, he wouldn't feel such a need to continue watching it. It's a forbidden fruit. Get over it. So long as it doesn't control his life, you need to leave it alone.

You're just making things hard for the both of you by freaking out.

2006-08-01 02:36:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You married him knowing he enjoyed porn but you thought you could change him. He has been watching porn the entire time you have been with him and now you want to do something about it? Unless you plan on divorcing him, there is nothing you can do.

2006-08-01 02:36:36 · answer #6 · answered by heshootshescores3 4 · 0 0

you can install a porn filter software like NetDog on the computer,that help you to block all porn sites quitely in the background when he's surfing on the internet. http://www.netdogsoft.com

2006-08-01 06:01:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

o.k. here it is men like sex... on-line porn is just that...is he bringing them home? no is he watching...yes, so what....he met you on line and you married him
3 years has gone by, do you trust him? watch with him or find another way to meet on middle grounds, or annul the marriage, for better or worse...you took the vow... you decide.

2006-08-01 02:38:38 · answer #8 · answered by who be boo? 5 · 0 0

i think u just leave him alone with this issue for a while u know.
he will get sick of it someday. and another thing dont call him stupid again.

come on! it's not a big deal. just ignore it!

2006-08-01 02:36:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i think he may not be comfortable enough with you yet to talk about it.even though it ma turn him on he would never admit it to you.maybe there are some fantasies he has and is to scared to ask.why dont you ask him about his fantasies.or maybe watch some porn with him maybe he'll loosen up a bit.

2006-08-01 02:35:09 · answer #10 · answered by gary m 1 · 0 0

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