Why do people think breastfeeding is a decision?

Question

Shouldn't it just be expected? Afterall, it is only natural and the most healthy and even formula companies say so. Formula was made for the rare woman who can't lactate or has a problem with her milk. I am not saying that women who chose to formula feed are bad people. I am just asking.

Don't forget about beast pumps...and it is so much cheaper than formula feeding.

Answer 1

I've read all these answers and what I am seeing, over and over, is that women have not received the support and encouragement that they needed to breastfeed. This takes on many disguised excuses, like "It didn't feel natural" and "it was the best choice for my family" etc. So sad that our society doesn't value our children more than that. Whether it is getting off to a good start immediately after delivery, helping a new mom in the sometimes difficult first few weeks, or providing the support needed to allow a pumping mom to return to work, the fact is, we just don't do enough. I'm not suggesting that moms who bottle feed artificial milk love their children any less, but I am suggesting that they most likely did not get the support needed to establish a good nursing relationship with their newborns.

I lived in Sweden for 4 years and I think that it's a great model. In Sweden, breastfeeding is the norm. Women would be utterly baffled at the dilemma an American mom faces about nursing in public; for the Swedish mom, it's a part of life. No one stares, makes comments, etc, because that's just what you do. Swedish moms can take up to 2 years of leave at 80% pay, or one year at 100% pay. For women who do go back to work before that, they are allowed extra breaks to pump milk, and are also encouraged to have babies brought to them for "milk breaks" during the day. Can you imagine that happening in the States? Also... a mom needs a prescription for formula, from a physician. Formula is used there as it was intended to be used, as a food alternative for children without access to breastmilk.

You are so right about what formula SHOULD be used for, and what it is in realtiy. The truth is, we parent out of convienience much of the time, and despite all the research showing that babies need breastmilk, women tune it out because it's just easier than dealing with guilt and, of course, with medical evidence. It speaks volumes about how little our culture values children (I mean, look at daycare workers, so underpaid and undervalued but doing what should be a very important job!) despite the lip service we give to them.

I do believe that if doctors would ban those horrid "free sample" packs from formula distributors in their offices, and if hospitals would replace free formula samples with a visit from a lactation consultant for every new mom and a FOLLOW UP visit a week later, moms would get the message that yes, this is one of the most important things I can do for my child. If we want more women to succeed at breastfeeding, we have to offer them the support they need, including time and privacy to pump for those that are working; better education for pregnant moms; and mother to mother, one on one support in the early days when most women will ultimately throw in the towel.

To suggest that what you put into a growing baby isn't important is hogwash. Babies need breastmilk to develop healthy, active brains, and research backs this up. Formula is a POOR substitute... and our culture has let it be presented in such a way as to allow moms to think that it's the equivalent of breastmilk. It's like feeding your child McD's every day instead of wholesome food. It's cheap and it works, but it's sure not good for you.

Answer 2

I agree. I think if you are able to breastfeed and dont have a medical reason why you cant, then you should be expected to. You are absolutely right that formula should be a substitute for the women who can't do to medical problems, the need to take certain medications, physical conditions, etc...I also agree with you that mothers who formula feed arent bad at all...formula is just overused and it is accepted as equivalent to breastmilk in our society , so women look at it as an equivalent choice, when it really isnt. If formula was used the right way, then society's views on it would be different and people would stop viewing it as a choice, but rather a necessary evil for women with nursing problems. (the truth is, I think formula feeding is actually more accepted than breastfeeding - people are SO weird about breastfeeding! I cant tell you how many people are uncomfortable with me feeding my baby! and it's not like I am whipping out my boob in public! I hear all day long that I am gross for breastfeeding my baby, that it is vulgar, that it is harmful for her, that it is weird, etc...and she is only six months old! I shudder to think about all the crap I will get for it when she is a year! Yikes!)

Answer 3

You are completely right.

I disagree with women who say that they "had no desire" to breastfeed. I actually had no desire to have morning sickness or back pain, but it's part of having a baby.

Women who simply choose to formula feed are not bad people, but they are people who are making bad and selfish choices for their babies. Did it "feel natural" or "comfortable" to be pregnant, or to be changing diapers that first time? Or did it take a little getting used to?

I have had friends who could not breastfeed because of other medical issues, and I know how disappointed they were. I hope that better formulas continue to be developed to help those women and their babies.

But if you can and don't, you have no excuse. Even if you work, you can always pump milk and use formula to supplement. There's no reason to give it up completely.

Breastfeeding should be the status quo. It should be expected, not asked, of every mother.

There should be more support for breastfeeding--nursing areas in workplaces, restaurants, etc, and classes and help for those who have trouble getting started. A lot of women who say they couldn't breastfeed probably could have with the proper education and support and a little more committment. Women who are otherwise healthy but physically can't breastfeed are rare cases... much rarer than you would think.

Answer 4

My son would NOT breast feed, he lost almost a pound the first week after he was born, while the doctors and I agreed that breast was best, and we tried everything with him there was no breast feeding, he would'nt do it. We went to a lactation specialist I spent 9 days in the hospital after a completely normal birth becuse I wasn't allowed to leave until he was nursing and gaining weight. So I ask you, did I have a choice? How much emotional trauma should I have put myself through and what kind of risks should I have taken while letting my child starve for the sake fo "doing whats right?" I guess I did make a descision about breast feeding, I decided to let him live and thrive, as opposed to letting him starve to death. I made the right descision he's a healthy active 11 year old now.

Answer 5

It really does come down to being a choice, that's why. There are many women, not just "a rare few" who physically can not breast feed. Before my daughter was born, I wasn't going to breastfeed b/c I didn't want to be the only one who could feed the baby. That all changed when she was born premature. I decided to pump my milk for her, and did for her entire NICU stay. Unfortunately, b/c my daughter was very small and fragile, she never got the hang of latching on. I continued to pump as long as I could, but it was near impossible to truly try her at the breast and then actually feed her from the bottle (it was frozen breast milk). I decided that my baby deserved a better Mom, one who wasn't close to tears every time we tried to get her to take from the breast. It just wasn't meant to be. That is why it shouldn't be expected. It's not fair to put that demand on any woman.

Answer 6

It IS a decision. God knows i didnt wanna breastfeed my son out in public. Just like a lot of other women feel. and It was getting kind of annoying to go sit on the counter in the bathroom when i was at my brothers house. Not to mention my mom always took my son out to do things so that i could rest. So besides nighttime the first few months he was a formula baby.

Answer 7

I just think that if it is best for the baby then they shouldn't even be another option, except under special circumstances. Breastmilk is the best for the baby, has the perfect combination of all the nutrients that the baby needs, and formula doesn't even come close. Formula is made from cow milk...how does cow milk compare to breastmilk? Two different species, which would you think would be better for baby?

Answer 8

its a very personal decision, you wont understand unless you have had a baby - these days life is tougher than it was even for our mom's, we have jobs, stress, responsibilities, bills and hormonal issues etc. all happening during the baby's birth. all this coupled with the pressures to be the perfect mom sometime render a woman incapable of doing the most 'natural' thing - naturally! I fed my daughter for 6 months, the whole ride was bumpy, she never really accepted the breast, most of it was expressed and fed, yet she and I are so well bonded and she is a healthy well adjusted child. breastfeeding is no longer a given, now women have options and believe me its all right to use options.

Answer 9

It's a personal choice. For some, including myself, it just didn't come natural to me. I, too, didn't like the idea of my husband, nor did he, not being able to feed our daughter. I understand the health benefits of breastfeeding, so I did at least try it and then went to formula feeding.

Answer 10

Because it is a decision, and it is a big one. I have four children and I tried to breastfeed three out of the four. And all three times I had problems with it. I thank go for the formula companies.