I left my husband one month ago. I am starting my divorce and I am getting very lonely. It only hits me when I am trying to go to sleep. I have been letting my son, 6yrs., sleep in my bed with me, but it is still very hard to fall asleep at night. I worry about everything from my ex trashing my car, to him having his mother come over and fight me. Even though I know I could whip her, I am scared. How do I get over the worrying.
2006-07-31 18:44:55 · 15 answers · asked by realcountrygal 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First ask a trusted girlfriend or close family member to stay with you or you stay with them until the divorce is final so that you can have someone to talk to and help take your mind off things which will help making sleeping easier at night. Might sound silly but by yourself a big teddybear for now and go to sleep with it. Remember when you were a kid it made you feel safe...or do like the sleepover with your friend for a while. Go and purchase a small security outdoor camera and install it outside your place and aim it at your car. They are usually easy to install and not that expensive. You could probably get one from Best Buy or somewhere for about seventy bucks. If your ex or his mom tries anything you have it on tape and a witness so it will hold up in court. Remember you can always get another vehicle. Keep your child with you. Some people will tend not to fight in front of children. Rent the movie "Enough" with Jennifer Lopez in it. It was made for women who are in situations similsr to yours or worse and shows somw effective ways to deal with some of your worries and your childs worries. Take it one day at a time and throw yourself into work taking care of your son, go to church, start working out or try a new hobby to fill in your extra time....even some support groups for couples that go through divorce...many churches have these. Good luck.
2006-07-31 19:09:08 · answer #1 · answered by missconduct 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would have to have a lot more information than you can give over the Internet to give you a good answer. I will give you some advice though and you can do with it as you wish. First, if you do not have a lawyer get one. A good lawyer can save you a lot of worry. He/she can be a buffer between your husband and you. He/she can act in your interest in the judicial system if you feel threatened by your husband by getting restraining orders or what ever else you might need. Second, find a good counselor. This will allow you to work on the emotional turmoil that is divorce. Good Luck.
2006-07-31 18:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by Professor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If nothing has happened yet, don't worry about it. I know it's hard, but it will pass. If you really think they will do such a thing, set up some servalance. Watch your vehicle and if you see one of them is coming over, wear a wire. If you have a definet reason to be scared, like he used to hit you or tired to run you off the road or is harassing you, go down to your courthouse and get a protactive order on them! While I was splits from mine, it was the only way I could get him to stay away from me! I hope all works out for you, and especially for that sweet 6 year old! Good luck hun!
2006-07-31 18:52:35 · answer #3 · answered by Autumn_Anne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really know what to tell you except to hang in there, remember time heals all wounds. Just think of how strong and brave you are to actually have left him, think of all the woman who are to chicken to leave and really want to. Don't worry you did the right thing, I'm sure you left him for a good reason, focus on that and that should help, also say a prayer and ask God for strength. Also spend time with family and friends and that might help, surround yourself with love!
2006-07-31 18:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by Qui 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son will never replace your husband and you are setting a bad example by having him sleep with you. What happens when you remarry someday and then kick him out of the bed. He will have to feel the way you do. I think you should not put him in this position. Find the courage on your own and allow him to see your courage and not fear.
2006-07-31 18:51:27 · answer #5 · answered by krichard70 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe marriage to be a commitment of a lifetime and I think no matter what ur partner does u should ask lord to make him change and fight for u marriage.It going to affect the baby and believe it or not someday u gonna regret ur desicion, i dont blame u for what u did coz maybe he did something unforgivble,what I ma trying to say is stay strong and pray and I will pray for u too.
2006-07-31 19:01:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
now is the time for you to stop caring about what anyone else thinks or feels and love yourself and screw everyone else, cause you cannot be a good mommy and give your child the love he wants unless you can give it to yourself, otherwise you will be angry,distant and moody or tense and make it difficult for him to accept this change and not blame himself, it is over call 911 if she shows up to fight or he does and get a restraining order if you must ,accept no disrespect if he calls you the c word hang up the phone or smile say have a nice day and walk away, refuse to communicate with any oone who cannot treat you like an adult in a civil manner and remember you are showing your child how to deal with adversity and what behavior he is to accept from his exwife should he ever have onhe, and lie to your child and tell him how smart and wonderful dad is, but your relationship is broken ,because every bad name you call him you call your son that is part of him
2006-07-31 19:17:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
l really dont think you can get over worrying. lf the ex is crazy enough and his mother is crazy enough, that you actually wouldnt put it past him or her to act like that, than it is good that you are worrying. You should be worried about your safety and your son's safety! You could get an alarm system in your house or something, just so you know if somebody is trying to break in and hurt you?
2006-07-31 18:50:44 · answer #8 · answered by Samantha B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Takes time because you have so much to deal with right now. Try taking a walk and clearing your head. I'm sure you have good friends that you can count on so talk to them. It's a difficult time presently and it will get better so hang in there.
2006-07-31 18:51:07 · answer #9 · answered by mergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're liberated (free) from the bond of marriage, but it takes awhile to be free from the tangled messes (the after-effects).
You're needing to be free from the worrying, from the fear.
You could ask the Lord to save you from those worries... He can do a much better job than any advice you may receive from those of us who wish we could just snap our fingers & make your problems disappear.
He knows your ex-hubby & his mother... He knows exactly how to take care of the problems.
2006-07-31 19:09:43 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋