Do immature men eventually grow up?

Question

I really love my boyfriend of almost 3years. He has made positive changes in behaviors/habits since we've met but there are still areas hes lacking in. I know that he does love me but he seems very guarded & immature emotionally. Hes 37 now. Ive heard as men get older & their testosterone level drops, they calm down & become a bit more introspective. Is this true for most men or do immature men always stay immature forever? Just looking for other peoples experiences/opinions. Thanks.

Answer 1

I've seen people make this mistake before. You talk about changing him. You can't change someone unless they want to change. People get married thinking the other person will change, and when they don't there's a big shock. You have to accept him for who he is. They say the only difference between a man and a boy is the price of his toys. I know it applies to me. As for me, I'm older than he is, and in recent years my testosterone level has gone up, not down. Sounds like if he "calmed down and became introspective" he'd have undergone an entire personality change. That ain't gonna happen girl!

Answer 2

People are shaped by their beliefs, their environment, and the people they mix with. If the man in your life had mixed with older and more mature people in the past, he would be likely to relate to their thinking and thus turn out more matured. If he's a typical guy's night out kind of person, where friends chill and swoon over girls, or ***** over soccer, that might be a cause of his immaturity.
However, the main point is to patient, supportive, and appreciate the growth in him as you grow old together. It is often very true that ladies think deeper and are more introspective than men, and this is the uniqueness between the 2 genders. For one to appreciate and accept the other.
Instead of dwelling on his immaturity, you should give him room to develop to become a better person, appreciate his virtues, and accept him for his special individuality.
You can't seek to perfect a person, for perfection does not exist.

Answer 3

It depends on the situation and their experiences - it also depends on how long you are willing to wait - I've waited 16 years 7 years of dating 9 years of marriage and I am finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel -it's been a long rough road and I've had to endure some serious trials and tribulations but depending on the person and their willingness to make a change is the difference. My husband will be 34 next month. Sometimes you have to learn how to not focus on their flaws and encourage them in their areas they have overcome. The longer I am in my relationship I realize that women and men think and function very differently. They (men) can only do one thing at a time while we (women) are multifunctional and so sometimes it may seem like they are not getting it but that's not the case they can only handle one thing at a time. Hang in there kiddo it will work out if you want it to

Answer 4

and your are how old ?
i suspecta lot younger than 37
so before you throw that first rock
as you look out beyond your glass window
careful that you do not become as immature as you make him out to be , I am, sure you no bundle of joy at times, few women are, they are emotinally unrealistic, the fact that i see so many counseling shows ( shalom in the home, save this marriage ) where the women is vindictive and combative, and yeah the man may act childsih, but it;s his escape as divorce or break up loom heavy in his mind, he ask this question over and over.. why did i get into this. few men have the guts to just walk away and start over.. but to those who do.. they find in incredible liberating and there sense of self get repaired quickly as they realize how poisonious the relationship was. they also rarely make the same mistake again.. it's at this point in life where women complain about men not commiting.. oh they will commit, with the right one.. but they also search for signs of trouble way ahead of the curve and will not venture once more into that territory, so they will remain evasive unless convinced that all the sign are there.

Answer 5

I honestly think it all depends on how you were raised. I personally grew up with alot of women in my house, as a result I grew up quicker than most of my peers and seemed to be more sensitive and easy to get along with women. I also know several people that grew up in a real "macho" environment and have the typical immature guy personality. I believe we do calm down somewhat as we get older but all in all how we were raised really determines they kind of behavioral habits we pick up. Furthermore, once those habits are established it becomes very hard for the brain to go back and change its thought process. It kind of goes along with that saying, "You cant teach an old dog new tricks."

Answer 6

Some do and some do not. It depends on the person. Most will start growing up between the age of 25 and 30. If they have not started by this time it is very unlikely that they ever will.

Answer 7

For an immature person (but grown-up, in the physical sense)... growing up is like>>> a 3 month old baby trying to eat steak.
It's like telling a one-year-old to go to the fridge & bring you a gallon jug of tea.
It's a hard road to travel on... lots of mistakes/messes... not impossible to do, but can be extremely difficult.

Answer 8

If you have already waited until he is 37, then wait until 40. The general rule of thumb is that 40 is when a guy gets his head straight. But there are some that never fix themselves up. But if he has made a real effort, then give him more time. You can even help him and support him.

Answer 9

Mr. Chivalry says, "Some grow up. Some don't. I did."

Mr. Chivalry has spoken.

Answer 10

of course if they are open to it.....well true love brings out the best in you as they say...