How can I start my own religion? Since it looks very profitable to take advantage of the ignorants...?

Question

... and the world is full of them, what would be the steps someone should follow in order to start a new business, I mean religion?

What other religion should I choose to confront or hate?

How much should I charge my stupid followers?

How many virgins should I promise to them after they die?

How many dozens of kids should I tell the poor beasts they should procreate?

Answer 1

Not only what you have mentioned, but don't forget that you are tax exempt once you have your own religion.

Anyhow...

They should hate all religions that have at least one vowel in their name.

They should have to donate at least 75% of their income to the church.

Screw the virgins... they will have a harem of 15 freaky chicks that will do ANYTHING (and I mean ANYTHING) they are asked.

As for procreation... they should keep having children until the mother's uterus implodes.

Answer 2

Start with writing a pamphlet about light and spiritual healing, and pyschic gemstones. Pretend to have discovered your wisdom carved into a rock somewhere in a desert, on a mountain, or at the bottom of the ocean: the lost wisdom of the (fill in the blank) peoples. Stick to your story despite silly allegations that such people never existed or that you were clearly seen to be somewhere else entirely on the day you claim to have discovered it. Claim that you are being persecuted. Devise a system of "steps" (people love DIY stuff like that) but make them buy a separate pamphlet for each "step." Fill your literature with misspellings and bad grammar...that will make you seem sincere and not like an intellectual (who are all atheists, as we know).

Turn against one of the more profitable new religions --the followers of these generally tend to be quite wealthy, and also are more likely to flit from one religion to another.

Tell them that they must have as many children as they can...but that they must form a protective "womb" about the child for the first twelve years of its life by not allowing the child out of the house and never leaving the child's side. This will confine them to their houses for most of their lives, thereby making the rest of us safe from them.

And that is how you start a new religion. Good luck.

Answer 3

I would suggest a deviation from Islam. In Islam you get 40 virgins in Paradise...well you need to offer a deal where you can offer a deal where someone can trade in 20 or 30 of their virgins for a couple of girls that have been around the block. This might get your followers thinking a little bit.

Answer 4

You're describing a cult.

Ok, hate everything, charge a thousand bucks, a virgin for every dollar given to you, and unsafe sex and as many brats as possible.

Pretend that contraception is all in the mind.

Answer 5

Really I thought Billy Bob started it with cigaratology. Bend over and I will make you very happy! And some of you still believe

Answer 6

Sweetie, this religion of yours already exists: it's called the Bush Administration!

Answer 7

let the punishment fit the crime.

You DEEP DOWN really think you are ugly . Women don't like you. You have an addiction .

When do you want to stop suffering and have people REALLY like you ?

Obviously , you havent had enough.

Answer 8

they would have to be stupid to follow you, but god isn't stupid and some day you are going to have to explain what you did to him in person, get the point

Answer 9

look up scientology, that should help. use the same methods they use to brainwash people.

Answer 10

someone already did that - it's called Scientology