Let me try & explain. On some issue's we see things different. Mainly my family member's including my mom and a female cousin. She feel that I don't make her my #1 in my life. The reason she gives it that I don't surport, respect, and don't stick up for her. Which i feel I do, except when we see things differently. I have a strong personality, meaning I don't care what people say about me, I just try and live me life the best that I can. My female cousin has done alot of wrongful stuff in the beginning of our marriage which at this time is causing a major problem with my wife and I. The main reason because I never address the situation with my cousin and put her in her place. My fault for not taking care of it and thinking it would just go away. Was I wrong. Although it's been 2 1/2 years later and I advise her I would talk to her(my cousin), my wife says it to late now. Another problem is that I'm still friends with her. I know I need to have talk but how can I make this right?
2006-07-31 17:43:50 · 11 answers · asked by donlide 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The bible is the best place to look when determining proper behavior in a marriage...the word says "That for this reason(Marriage), a man leaves his father/mother, forsaking all others, the two shall become one"...okay, so right there...you wrong to place others before your wifes feelings...but on your wife's side, she should read "Ruth"...it gives the perfect example of a Daughter/Mother-in-law relationship...don't let you guys become a statistic...fight for your marriage...I bet you both are worth it!
2006-07-31 17:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by every woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bond between you and your wife should supercede any other relationship in your life. You need to take care of your family at home, before you invest time anywhere else. I can fully understand what you are going through right now... except that I would be in the shoes of your wife... It's hard to just stand by and watch the person you love make mistakes that carry over in to your own marriage. Sit down and talk with your wife, and come up with a strategy together... this will probably not happen over night.. but if you work on this together you will eventually get to a point you can both agree on. Let her share in the decisions that you make about this, even though it is your family, she is part of that now and should not be left out. It is never too late... that was just your wife's feelings talking, she is hurt and feels neglected in this matter, and as you have probably experienced in your past, you know that is a horrible way to feel. I wish you two all the best in this life. Shalom.
2006-07-31 18:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by julianna76301 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You messed up to start with, not having enough respect for your marriage and your wife to stand up for her what-
ever the situation was with your family. Ignoring it was
probably the worst thing you could have done, that kind
of stuff doesn't go away. You are still friends with your cousin, understandable that's family, but so is your wife.
You need to talk to your family and stand up for your wife.
I don't know if it'll help now, but give it a try anyway. If you aren't able to stand up to your family when they cause problems, you are going to find yourself in this situation alot.
2006-07-31 17:59:47 · answer #3 · answered by frustrated 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you've got to put your family in their place and hope that it's not really "too late". You won't know until you try. Sounds like you've got to choose between your wife and your cousin, at least for now. Shouldn't be a hard choice. Your wife is probably mad because you put it off for so long. Don't half-step now...if you have to lose your cousin as a friend to save your marriage, so freaking what?
2006-07-31 17:54:55 · answer #4 · answered by goatluvver 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a million a million/2 twelve months of no intercourse, exceedingly for a youthful couple, isn't standard. in case you the two have been bored with intercourse, it could be distinctive, besides the undeniable fact that it is not the case. intercourse, intimacy, affection, heat temperature: those are fairly significant for a good marriage. there is obviously something incorrect. whether this is a scientific subject (yet you have already got suggested a pass to to her healthcare expert to no avail), or a psychological one (it is common for adolescents molestation to reason sexual illness) it needs to be addressed. in maximum circumstances, for women, the situation is psychological. base line, until your spouse is having an affair, if she needs to make this marriage artwork ( and your staying power shows which you do), she has to seek for help. If there's a valid rationalization for her loss of love and fervour, I have confidence which you will help her if she gets help. If she is unwilling to try this, no one will blame you for walking away.
2016-11-03 10:35:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not always agree with your wife, but you need to let your family know you are always on the same side as your wife, even when you don't agree. I was going to quote that scripture, too, and I saw someone beat me to it! LOL You need to leave your family and cling to your wife. That doesn't mean moving away physically, but you and your wife are on one team, and the whole world is on the other. She is your help-meet. she helps you meet all your needs. You are to cherish her, as she is to obey (not be a slave). I know, cherishing is a whole lot harder than obeying, but if you cherish her, she will be glad to obey. Cherishing requires an unconditional adoration in your heart at all times, obeying can just be in action and word. Start cherishing her. It will go from there.
2006-07-31 18:08:36 · answer #6 · answered by NotMySecret 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her hand in your hand sit beside her talk to your wife regarding this matter calmly. Look straight into her eyes while talking. She will understand you. Dont forget to take her hand in your hand & look into her eyes while talking. It is a way of Psychological approch. Then further you three have to have a talk . every thing will be ok, pray to god and start
2006-07-31 18:37:48 · answer #7 · answered by Javed Miandad 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow some balls! If someone disrespects your wife, you need to dog slap them. Well maybe not that bad, but you better wise up and not let your better half be run over by your family.. if you keep it up, She will be someone Else's better half.
2006-07-31 17:56:06 · answer #8 · answered by krash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump your cousin, she deserves it and your wife should be ALWAYS first.
2006-07-31 17:54:07 · answer #9 · answered by Jermaine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST FOLLOW YA HEART YA HEART WILL GUIDE YOU TO DO THE RIGHT THING IT WORKS FOR ME IT IMPORTANT TO LISTEN FROM YA HEART WISDOM TELL ME YA LEARN AS YOU OPEN YA HEART UP GOOD LUCK
2006-07-31 17:54:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋