How do I make my daughter see that the boy she is so infatuated with is no good? She has liked him off and on for a year now. She goes out with him then breaks up with him. He is such a player and likes all the girls. The sad thing is when she breaks up with him and he sees that another boy is interested in her he begs her to take him back and she does! Ive tried talking to her but you know moms just dont know anything. how do i help her to see he is wrong for her? She keeps getting her heart broke and she is only 13!
2006-07-31 17:29:09 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i know this is going to sound harsh, but there's nothing you can do.
if you forbid it, she'll rebel. if you allow it, she gets her heart broken.
the most you can do as her mother is pick her up when she falls down and keep kissing those boo boos.
this phase will pass.
i was her once. only the guy was much older than me.
hindsight is always 20/20 huh?
this will pass, and she'll find another guy she adores for the next week, and so on. it's a growing up thing.
remind her that shoulders make the best tissues, especially yours.
2006-07-31 17:35:18 · answer #1 · answered by mistressmorro 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
When I was thirteen and my sisters who are now 15 and 16 we knew everything and didnt listen to our mom. I'm 22 now. You see on one hand it's good for her to learn by her own mistakes, it will make her stronger later or it will become a pattern for her relationships. I would say she might feel that she doesn't deserve better. This is a tough situation because I dont know what you could do to help. I would say let her learn but keep her informed of all his bad qualities. Maybe ask her to write down all the good personality traits vs bad so she can see it and then talk to her about what she has written and how it make her feel.
2006-07-31 17:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by Hottestwallflower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her to make a list of the good and bad things about this boy
then ask her to think about another boy she likes and make the same list
My guess is she will start to realise the downside.
then ask her what would she really like to do with her time? chase boys or something else?
Hopefully the latter! Encourage her to develop her interests in her activities such as sports, games, school work, hobbies and that way devote her energy more positively. If there is something in her school work that she is good at, but is struggling with, get her coaching in that area.
2006-07-31 17:34:49 · answer #3 · answered by SmokeyGun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that you knew a girl in highschool who had a similar problem. she dated a guy for about 10 months and all he ever did was hurt her, in many ways. he didnt appreciate her and every time he apologiesed, she accepted and he di dit all over again. that girl became miserable and was never trueley happy until she moved away from him
true story. your daughter doesnt have to knwo that girl was me ;)
if she wont listening to you then she wont get it fro a while. ididn't listen to my parents when they told me he was no good, and now i wish i did. tell her how she deserves better...that that boy is no good...
Unfortunatly thats all i can say
talk to a friend of hers about it, get that friend to talk to another and have them both confront her. I knwo you love her, and you might not want to think its true but she is at that age where she really doesnt care what you think...you are the mom, all you do is buy her clothes and drive her places, you dont knwo whything about her, her freinds, her life..you just know how to cook an dpump gas. she is more likley to listen to her friends that know less than she does about the real world, so might as well influence them the right way.
This phase will pass with time, just continue to be there for her, an dyou guys will be close and she will appreciate you again by mid highschool :D Things will be okay!
2006-07-31 17:36:04 · answer #4 · answered by Miss. Advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haven't we all done that when we were that age? Always seemed to pick out the wrong ones, but that's the experience we need in order to learn which guys are the wrong kind versus which ones are right. Let her go through the experience. As long as she is in no real danger from this kid, understand that this is her first big romance, and is a necessary part of her growth. She'll survive and ultimately be the better for it. (I know it's hard for you as the mother to see her heart get broken.)
2006-07-31 17:34:57 · answer #5 · answered by Just Ducky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how wussy he is that he only likes her when she is with someone else. point out things about him that are "NOT COOL" like his hair or what ever. Point it out by saying "WOW that other boy never dressed like that " or "What he doesn't have a hat like so and so" Make sure you pick other boys that girls around them. My mom did this to me and now I am doing it to my 14 year old daughter. My sister did this to all 4 of her girls and it worked. With a little tweeking you can make it work for any girl and any bad guy....... the only thing is if it is a good guy and you just don't like him it won't work.
2006-07-31 17:39:52 · answer #6 · answered by Linda G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her laern from her mistakes but watch them closley. I had my heart broken. Maybe you can talk to your daughter about him ask her things... Is he nice? What does he like? But if he's the player type try and bounce her to another boy make her interested or you talk her out of haven a boyfriend for a week or 2. Maybe for the rest of the year.
Good luck
2006-07-31 17:37:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that 13 is far to young to date and be serious with a boy and she is not allowed to until she is 16. Or at least 15. Let her keep her boy thing at school at this age. Not after. After school is for homework, girlfriends, group friends, family.
2006-07-31 17:33:58 · answer #8 · answered by yowhatsup2day 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately she is going to have to find out the hard way. It wont really matter what you say as you are her mum. Even though we know better she doesn't see that they don't realize that we have been there done that. I got sick of my daughter not listening to me so one of my close friends pulled her aside one day and had a good talk to her and guess what, it worked so if you have a friend in which she trusts to talk to get your friend to talk to her for you. It just may work for you too. No mother likes to see their child hurting Good luck
2006-07-31 18:00:25 · answer #9 · answered by mermaiden_4_ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, the thing about being thirteen is that you're pretty much right and anyone who trys to change your mind is wrong. Let her be, she'll learn from her mistakes and with mistakes comes the knowledge to not make the same one again.
And when she gets her heart broken that final time, be there for her with Ben and Jerry's and a Cary Grant movie. And none of those "I told you so"!
S
2006-07-31 17:35:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋