ok , im having problems as right now , i've been stressed out , im at the point where im going to break . me and my ex broke up b/c he's confused , he's confused about been committed . is that normal to feel when you have been dating someone for 9 months ? he says he loves me but yet again he cant be with me . everything that i ask is i dont know . im trying my hardest to understand but its like talking to the wall. he says to move on but yet again he writes blogs about how he miss me and , he still loves me . i just dont know what to do ; NEED HELP ASAP !!
2006-07-31 17:23:01 · 18 answers · asked by freszhx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's typical behaviour of someone who doesn't really want you, but is too insecure to totally let you go. He kind of wants you to stick around in case he can't find someone else. Which mean, eventually he WILL find someone else, so if I was you, I'd get out of there now.
2006-07-31 17:29:57 · answer #1 · answered by Just Ducky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First let me encourage you to never let any body stress you out. He who has your mind occupied controls you. If dude has committment issues don't be afraid to let him go. Maya Angelou once said, "If someone shows you who they are - believe them" Just know that sometimes love is not enough to hold a relationship together their need to be some other key elements such as COMMITTMENT, compromise, consideration, cooperation, honesty, etc. Don't allow this man to string you along because it sounds like he is extremely confused and he wants you to wait around until he decides what he really wants to do and that just isn't fair now is it? He's saying move on but at the same time stroking and pulling at your emotions by saying he loves you and misses you - If it's all of that then what is the problem? Don't get caught up in his drama and I'll let you in on a little secret - most men love the thrill of the chase - and sometimes after it is gone they are no longer interested (especially the ones not committed to a long term relationship) Try ignoring him for a while and see what results that produces
2006-08-01 00:32:10 · answer #2 · answered by 2deep4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 months is not nearly long enough to be even talking about long-term comittment under normal circumstances. Relax and give him some time, you have scared him to death. He's still trying to remember your middle name and what color your eyes are. And you want to set a date for the wedding (that's what he heard). Relax. Don't move on, just let him know you are ready to just enjoy the companopnship. You have the rest of your life to decide if he's the one. There is absolutely no hurry and you have pressured him into running away. Relax, he'll be fine.
I know there are other circumstances where you just know it's right and love is absolutely certain. But are you there? Is he? Relax, let him know you only want to enjoy the courtship. If he doesn't respond in a couple of weeks then go your way.
2006-08-01 00:35:15 · answer #3 · answered by AK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've basically given him enough time to decide if he wants to date you exclusively. If he doesn't know yet. Drop him. Life &
love are hard enough. He'll drag your broken heart around on a
leash.
He shouldn't be in control of the relationship. Ladies choose their
man. Men don't choose their woman. Read up on relationships.
Try Marianne Williamson's "A Woman's Worth', "Emotional Vampires", "Woman Who Love Too Much & The Men Who Love Them", "He's just not that into you." -- there are tons of good solid
advice books out there to help you get your self-esteem back.
One thing I can tell you is that if a man tells you to move on.
UNQUESTIONABLY DO IT!! Don't hang around waiting to be
hurt more. What more can he tell you... he just gave you an
answer and that answer is "Move on". After he says that... all
the kings horses and all the kings men can't put your relationship
back together. He's only in t for the sex. Move on.
Good luck, Sweetie. You deserve to find someone who cares about your feelings and cherishes you as a partner. - Someone
with respect.
2006-08-01 00:34:49 · answer #4 · answered by Linda S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've got yourself a man that doesn't want to be with just one woman. He wants to play the field and date around, even though he cares about you.
You can wait it out to see if he'll get it out of his system and be ready to commit, or you can move on. Maybe you are desperate enough to accept his multiple women and date him, just not exclusively. Maybe you want more than he's ready to give, and you want someone who will settle down NOW. I don't know. I do know that if you let him have his way every time he's "confused" about something, you will probably end up in a relationship that's all about him, and you will be left high and dry.
2006-08-01 00:29:49 · answer #5 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can answer your question. I was going through the same thing as what he felt. He does love you but its just that he does not want commitment. He does not want to leave you alone because your there for him. But yet he does not want to be with you because he feels committed. So what I would do is leave him alone. And whenever he is ready for you so will you unless you are going to get tired and leave him like they left me. He was tired of me flaking on him all the time. We were together for two years and out of those years we had gone out for like three times. I know that that is sad but...i dont know.
2006-08-01 00:32:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He misses you because you have been a daily part of his life for almost a year. He will always love you but it's obviouse he's not interested anymore. If he was worried about keeping you or your futur he would be with you. If he says he's confused it really means, I lost interest and I need something new in my life. He's not looking for a long term commitment from you. Your best to distance yourself until you are comfortable with the situation. Also if you distance yourself from him he is more likely to be interested in what your doing if he is still interested in you.
(I left guys like that because I found someone else I was more interested in and I wanted to be availiable for them)
2006-08-01 00:30:49 · answer #7 · answered by Hottestwallflower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. You don't need more stress. If a guy says ....I love you and wanna be with you, but I need some space right now...BS it means he want to give little john a chance to meet some new women. So move on, you deserve someone who knows what the word 'Love' means. Walk, run and dont look back
2006-08-01 00:28:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GO!!!! Seriously he is just not that into you if only at 9 months he is treating you like this then the relationship is going nowhere. Before you waste another day tell him what he has done wrong an dtell him that you hope his next girlfriend will be treated better and leave....
2006-08-01 00:29:09 · answer #9 · answered by Linda G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he just needs some space. Give him the space he needs and do as he asked and move on. He wont let you get to far if he really wants to be with you. By letting him think you are doing what he asked and moving on, if he wants you, he'll soon realize it and he'll appreciate you even more than before.
2006-08-01 00:38:10 · answer #10 · answered by sunflower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋