i am in love with a man who is married. i think he loves me too, but this is hard for us. how will this end?

Question

we met over a year ago during a work project, we instantly felt drawn together and even though he went back home, which by the way is 1000 miles away, we have talked and emailed daily. we were both present at another weeklong work project and spent every second that we could together. i am not married. i know he has loyalty to his wife and family, and im sure he loves them very much. he feels stuck in the middle and theres nothing i can do to ease his pain except to walk away from the one man who makes my soul sing. it would be like ripping my heart out, but i love him and i hurt and he hurts and i know this cant go on like this forever. we keep going to the 'i need to leave him alone conversation' but one of us (usually him but im right there too) always comes back within the day. i believe that given the freedom we would experience the greatest love imaginable (actually its close now) neither of us is young, we are both level headed. we never dreamed something like this would happen.

Answer 1

it will end with broken homes broken hearts and big lies... you can never trust someone who can't end a relationship before starting a new one

Answer 2

LEAVE HIM ALONE!! If he is loyal to his wife and family then you do not want to take him away from them. And if he isn't, and leaves his wife and kids, then you don't want him anyways, because what if another person comes long that he's attracted too?

Just like the saying goes, "The grass on the other side of the fence looks greener." Which it may seem that you guys are attracted and you may be good friends, but after you would get married, or whatever, it will not be the same. So girl, if you know the best, you will cut it off between you two. Your husband may be out there, but it's NOT a married man, at least not one that is married at the present.

I hope this helps!

Let me know how it turns out at [e-mail]

Answer 3

It will end badly. I know from experience. And the pain goes on for years to come. If he leaves his wife and kids to be with you, he will feel extreme guilt and it will affect your relationship. Plus if you and he keep messing around, it will cause you pain because you don't have him free and clear. You do need to leave him alone for a while. Also, if you guys have the greatest love imaginable then why can't he give up his family right now to be with you. See, I don't doubt there is a connection between you two and deep feelings, but it is probally enhanced by the fact that all you guys have to worry about is your feelings. There is no everday living to contend with. He lives out the everyday experiences with his wife and family. I am sorry you are in pain, but I think either way it is going to end badly so you might want to try to cut it off now. God Bless.

Answer 4

If you are lucky it will end with him telling you that he loves you but can't leave his wife because of the kids. He has to try to make it work. Then you will never hear from him again.

The worse case scenario is that this cheat does leave his wife for you. He is having big fun now dear. Believe me this man is not feeling any pain being stuck in the middle. He has the best of both worlds. He is your hero and his ego is super charged. You tell him how great he is, how attentive he is and how much he makes you feel like a real woman. His wife tells him not to forget it is trash day. You are the mistress, you miss doing his laundry, picking up behind him, cooking his meals, taking care of his house and children. Right now you look good all the time because you have the time to prepare for him. You smell nice all the time, your hair is perfect. He never sees you without makeup, and you sleep in beautiful sexy gowns. He doesn't see your hair all over your head, doesn't see you in ill fitting jeans to pull weeds from the lawn, you don't smell like baby puke, he doesn’t wake up to your morning breathe and he doesn't have to go behind you in the bathroom just to name a few. In other words you are perfect, new and exciting. What there not to love? Does he tell you any of the following?

1. I have never done this before
2. It is like we were made for each other, you read my thoughts and heart
3. I like my wife but I am not in love with her
4. When I am at home I think of you all the time.
5. I am afraid that I will call out your name in my sleep
6. I wish that I could be there for you. Especially on holidays
7. You make me feel like a teenager in love for the first time
8. You deserve more than I can give right now, but I’m too selfish to let you go.

I am sure that the list goes on and on. These are just a few that women tell me their lovers have told them, and then retire with the wife to Flordia.

If you become his wife, you will no longer be the mistress and he will be off to find another one that misses all the regular stuff that a wife has to contend with. I read once that less than 5% of the men who have affairs actually marry the woman they had the affair with if their marriage breaks up because of a lack of trust in the woman they cheated with. Cut your losses and find a man who will be loyal to you. Even if he should leave his wife, the foundation of your relationship would be very shaky. Every woman deserves better.

Answer 5

You are such a fool. Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you really think this man gives a **** about anything other than what is between your legs. He is such a faker and you are so easy. He is married and has a wife and a family, then he gets to have instant sex with you on the side. He has a great time and then goes back home to reality.
You are soooo easy. If he cared anything about you, he would have left his wife and children for you and not put you thru the bull crap. Toss him to the curb now and do not waste another minute with this loser.

Answer 6

Level headed????? What would you call lame? The guy IS married. What don't you understand? Even if you have a thing for him, a level headed adult would forget it. What you want is for somebody to say what you're trying to do is OK. You KNOW it isn't. Even if he left his wife, a relationship with you is doomed, because you at least helped to wreck his marriage. End this farce. There are plenty of men, you don't need to act like a giddy teen over a guy that is already married. Grow up.

Answer 7

Let me ask you this....if it was such a perfect love for him he wouldn't he have left his wife by now?.
Regardless of his loyalties or whatever, if he felt the same he would move the world to be with you... so that makes you a long distance bootie call when he is way from home... If you are willing to settle for that, then that is your choice.

It's been a year sister, you need to pick up what is left of your self esteem up off the floor and find your own man.

Answer 8

He is married. What part of leave the man alone confuses you. Why do you along with all the other women continue to take marriage and disrespect it creating quitters for an institution that takes all of the good attributes of a relationship and puts them together with a bond to share your life with. It is women like you that use, "I love him and shake your a** in front of him and break up his marriage. We thank you for taking all of the good out of what took centuries for people to believe in and give it meaning and stand for something that people wanted. Want marriage now in this day and age. Why? It does not mean anything when there are people like you that do not respect the boundaries. That is right NO RESPECT and it starts right where you are! Thank you.

Answer 9

jus know right now he will NEVER leave his wife! If i were you i would stop it all right now, karma will come back to bite you in the ***! Can you imagine if one day you find a rally good man and you are so happy then one day you find out he was messin around on you with some girl he met on a work trip? I promise you that would be the worst feeling ever! Also, if he's messin around with you what makes you think he wont mess around on you?

Answer 10

first of all you should be ashamed of yourself. He is married and he has a family. He is just using you. You are a fantasy. his wife and his kids are his reality. He uses you to get away from his everyday life. When he is with his wife he has to worry about paying the bills and taking care of his kids. With you he doesn't have to think about those things. But believe me if he left his family and came home to you. You will be come his reality and soon he will be looking for another fantasy girl. Do you undersand the pain you would cause his wife if she found out. put yourself in her shoes. Do you want to be responsible in destroying a family. I have caught my husband cheating and i would not wish this pain on my worst enemy. You are just being used. Find someone who is not married to be with. GET YOUR OWN MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 11

Most likely this will "end" for you with you never trusting any man you are ever with because you were once "the other woman." If this man leaves his wife, then one day, he'll probably leave you, maybe for her, maybe for someone else. If you were to find a man who wasn't married who you would want, you'd be the wife. You'd have to wonder.